when we had been dating for about 7 months, my dad got diagnosed with cancer. my parents own a garden center and he got diagnosed right in the middle of spring- their BUSIEST time of the year. because its a seasonal thing, they couldn't just shut down while my dad got treatment. SOOO... dh came down one day and stayed for about a week while my dad was in the hospital, getting all his tests, starting his treatment, etc. DH helped at their store and helped keep everything running (watering the plants, loading the trailer, etc). that just said a lot to me about the kind of person he was/is that he woud do something like that.
When he visited my family over Christmas. I had moved out to be with him six months earlier, and my parents had only met him once. My family is crazy. The fact that he didn't leave me after spending a few (very dramatic) days with them told me that he's a keeper!
1) I was a freshman at a school out of state and was having a hard time adjusting. I had applied to transfer to a school in my home city. When I met H I hadn't been accepted yet. We'd been dating less than a month when I got the letter saying I had been accepted. I ignored it and stayed where I was. H remembers being really freaked out about me making that decision to be with him, but I think I knew it would be a worthwhile move.
2) A couples months after we started dating, H found me in my dorm room. He was really upset and asked if everything was ok with us. I was really confused and told him everything was fine. He confided that he had just had a dream that I broke up with him. Seeing how upset he was about that possibility showed me how much he really cared about me.
Post by thatgirl2478 on May 15, 2012 10:53:19 GMT -5
Our first date after meeting we went out to eat and I didn't get sick (every guy I had dated since leaving my college boyfriend took me to dinner and I ended up either sick in the bathroom or in the parking lot).
A few weeks after starting dating, he confided in me that his credit was horrible and he didn't know what to do. I gave him some advice about talking to the creditors he owed to see if they would work with him. He then took that advice and also took it a step further creating a written plan with his friend who was more business minded.
Then, at Christmas (we had been dating about 2 months at this point), I thought he had to work but at the last minute he managed to get off. He called 411 to find my parents phone number, got directions to their house and then surprised me by showing up for our family Christmas. He met EVERYONE and got along with them all - from my mom (talked education with her), to my dad (talked houses with him) and even my uncles (talked sports with them). It was such a change from the guy I dated in college who would go hide in the computer room until it was time to leave. 2 weeks later (New Year's Eve) he told me he wanted to marry me.
Four months into our relationship my grandmother passed away while all of my immediate family except for me was on vacation in Indiana. Thankfully, he was with me when my mom told me the news over the phone and I collapsed.
After my family flew home, he took a week off from work and drove my mom and I to New Jersey so we could start making the arrangements before the rest of the family joined us.
DH and I moved in together after a month, so we were very much into each other right from the start. However, we had both been married previously and those relationships did not end well (both of us were cheated on). After my divorce, I never really thought I needed to get remarried. I was happy just to live with him. Well a few months after we moved in together, I went on a cruise with my sister and it went very, very badly. Needless to say she got off the ship at one of the ports and flew home, leaving me alone on the ship. DH called me many times, called my mom on my behalf to explain my sisters level of crazy even though he had only met my mom once, and was just all around supportive. I decided to just catch the first flight back home and without me asking him to, he picked me up from the airport and took the day off work. After that I told him that he was my family and that I wanted to marry him to make it official so to speak.
We had been dating about a year but still hadn't exchanged those three little words. One weekend in fall I was chaperoning a group retreat up in the mountains. Overnight there was a very unexpected snowstorm - at least 6 feet worth and no one had chains since it was so out of season. Once I realized I might not be able to make it to work the next day, I tried to call my boss but all the county phone lines were down and I couldn't leave a message. I also couldn't reach any of my CWs because my cell reception was so spotty. I was freaking out big time because my final probationary review at work was going to happen that week and I knew a no-show would get me fired. Somehow H reached me on my phone to see if I was okay. I told him about being stranded and my pending review. He immediately volunteered to try to drive up and get me. It was still snowing and we didn't know what roads were open or how long they'd be open, but he decided to try anyways. And while I appreciated the gesture I was really worried he'd get into an accident on the icy roads or get stuck somewhere himself. He bought chains for his truck as well as my car and set off on what's usually a 45 minute trip. Four hours later he arrived and rescued me.
That's when I knew he loved me even if he couldn't say it yet.
Post by dr.girlfriend on May 15, 2012 11:43:19 GMT -5
Aw, I'm loving reading these. I'll add another.
The first time I met DH it was at a friend's Passover Seder (even though neither of us were Jewish), but I was in the kitchen making matzoh ball soup for a lot of the time, and then we weren't sitting next to each other, so I really just knew that I liked his voice and he seemed nice.
Our second date was kind of a set-up -- the mutual friends invited him to a movie, and didn't really tell him until he was in the car that I was coming along. But, we got along great, and movie turned into dinner, and we set a time for our first "real" date.
I was supposed to pick him up at his apartment building at like 8:00. I got stuck in traffic and then really lost, and by the time I got there it was like 8:45. He had given up waiting and gone upstairs, thinking I'd call him. BUT, like an idiot, I had the previously mentioned issue where I hadn't committed to putting his information in my PalmPilot -- it was just written down at home. I also didn't have a cell phone then (I got one right after, not surprisingly) so I drove all over looking for a parking spot, and then scrambling to find a public phone and a phone book, but he has a really common name and after five wrong numbers I was out of change.
Then I went to his apartment building and scammed my way in -- I kind of remembered where his apartment was, but not which floor. I knocked on that door on a few floors, and then gave up. By that time it was about 9:30 and I was practically in tears, thinking I had screwed everything up.
I drove all the way back home, and finally called him at like 10:00, with the big long explanation of what had happened and how sorry I was, etc., etc. I expected him to be all mad or whatever, but after a pause of about two seconds he just said, "So...do you still want to meet up?"
I headed back over, finally met up with him at about 10:30, and we hung out until about 1:30 in the morning.
Sometimes I get a little frustrated with how easy-going DH is, for example if he's not planning out something I think should be planned, etc. Then I think back to how wonderful it was to be with someone who was totally easygoing and flexible back then, and I realize I can't get mad about something that I also love about him.
I also think back to this platonic friend in grad school I really had a crush on, and remember what a giant pain in the ass he was to travel with, and how upset he'd get over nothing. I am so thankful he never reciprocated my feelings, because what a bullet I dodged there. How could I have possibly thought about traveling through life, with all the rough spots and high points, with someone who can't even handle a simple vacation? Seems so obvious now, but I didn't get it back then.
Post by Rachael070707 on May 15, 2012 12:07:01 GMT -5
My DH is another one that was only intended to be a one night stand. We knew each other from playing sports in college and our large group of teammates hanging out together 90% of the time. By the end of the school year/season I had lined up a 9 month internship across the country. I also planned to finish my degree at the state U down there and not move back. I had to move within 1 month of our 1-nighter but in that time we became inseparable. We did a small road trip two weeks in and while plastered in a random small town Iowa bar I said something random and he just looked at me and said “God I love you.” Needless to say, I shortened my internship down to 3 months and I don’t regret it for one second.
I’m not sure this part counts but once I moved back I let him in on some of my…wild child past…and the drama that is my family. Never once, with any of the shock-worthy confessions did he ever judge. Even now, I have extreme guilt over terminating a pregnancy when I was 18 and now battling infertility. It’s only in the last few years that I’ve been able to be more open about it. But he’s stuck through it with me and yes, it’s been a struggle at times, but he always reassures me that he would not leave if we were never able to be parents and that he doesn’t blame me for one second.
DH asked me to marry him about two weeks after we met. I said yes.
During our first date, I just knew he was going to be the one. I just knew. I found out later he felt the same way that day.
Together 5 years now, married almost 4 years. We fight sporadically and have had a rough patch or two and like everyone else life has been hard on us at times. But neither of us have ever waivered on being together. We have one son and are working on having more.
I never had a "defining moment". I just knew all along.
Post by hellzkitten on May 15, 2012 12:29:37 GMT -5
When I had our son, I nearly died. DH was by my side through the whole ordeal & he was the primary care giver for DS for the first 9 days of his new little life. & he says I was HIS rock the whole time - but as I recovered, I knew that if we could make it through that, we could make it through anything.
Post by LauraMoser on May 15, 2012 12:54:29 GMT -5
When I first met DH we became great friends. I had a major crush on him, but wasn't sure if he felt the same. I knew he was meant to be in my life when I came to the realization that even if he didn't have the same feelings that I needed to keep him in my life, even if it meant we would only be friends. Luckily though, the feelings were mutual.
Mine is the stereotypical one you tend to hear about or see in movies: I was sick as a dog with stomach flu and called him up in the middle of the night, crying. He came right over, cleaned the barf out of my hair, all that stuff.
Post by milkrations on May 15, 2012 13:15:24 GMT -5
I think there are two, at least for me. I don't know if H would have the same opinion since my moments are really based in my feelings and emotions.
#1: H and I met in college. We started with a whole bunch of immature bantering without ever admitting to ourselves or our friends that we liked each other, even though everyone else knew it. I got sick and had to withdraw from school in the middle of the quarter. The night before I left (well actually it was 2 am in morning) I knocked on his door to say goodbye. We ended up talking until 6 and I admitted to myself at that time that I liked him, which made leaving that much harder. Flash forward two weeks after I left and I worked up the nerve to email him, not knowing for sure if he felt the same way about me as I did about him. I come to find out that he had already told his boss about us and asked for 'permission' to date. He was an RA in my building and dating residents was a big no-no. But, we were granted an exception and when I came back to school we were a couple.
#2: H graduated half a year before me. The night after his graduation I was helping him pack as he was leaving college for good the next day. It was bittersweet for both of us as college was a bumpy road for both of us individually and as a couple. By that time though, he made grad school plans as if we were going to stay in a relationship and be in close-ish proximity to each other. We stayed up until 6, talking more that packing, and I wanted so bad to ask him to marry me. In that moment, I knew I wanted to be married to him. But, the rational part of my brain decided I was too exhausted and too emotional to do something that rash and I didn't do it. There was a part of me that decided that we were engaged then and there. Two years later, after we both finished grad school, we made the engagement official.
When I realized I loved him: We were dating. My day thus far had been horrible in general and I was being a total bitch as a result. At the height of my yelling at him for no reason he grinned at me, poked my nose, and made a beeping sound. I thought he had lost his mind at the time, but when I realized that he had completely derailed my bad mood without letting it get to him at all I knew I wanted to keep him around.
When I realized he loved me: We did the long distance thing for a while. One day I got really sick - raging fever, couldn't keep anything down, etc so I had cut our usual phone call off short. Five hours later (the time it took to drive from his place to mine) he was at my door. He spent the entire night sponging me down with cool rags and changing out the trash bag whenever I puked.
Post by FrozenSunshine on May 16, 2012 0:46:29 GMT -5
Now DH and I were friends for about 4 years before we made it official. He was the first person to know I married ex-H. My ex couldn't keep it in his pants and used his new roll as a military officer to continue this lifestyle.
I decided I was done 3 days before Christmas and packed my truck and left. Planning to drive from Florida to Alaska, I didn't have much of a holiday plan. Now DH found out I was on the road driving and he was visiting his parents in the mid west. We talked a few times and then I got a call from his parents house, it was his mom. She insisted a friend of her sons couldn't spend Christmas alone in a hotel room. I was confused and didn't want to be alone either. So I took her up on her offer and showed up on Christmas eve. Met the entire family that night, after very little sleep and we really had to try to explain "us." His father even offered to drive me into town to buy a gift if I wanted too.
I finally got home to AK and he and I continued to hit it off as a couple. I lived with my parents for about 6 months then moved in with him as a "roommate", in a one bedroom apartment.
Post by soveryexcited on May 16, 2012 1:08:07 GMT -5
I have lots of ''moments''. LOL.
One was a few months after DH told me that he really liked me. But I was seventeen and he was twenty three. We went with my sister to see a play and I held his hand during the play. My sister told on us. My parents freaked (now I realize WHY... but I was a good girl, and he was a good guy, nothing bad was going on)- and I was forbidden to see/talk to him. But I remember my heart flip flopping when he reached for my hand.
DH drove to visit me in college every month, six hours there, and six hours back. If that's not love I don't know what is. :-)
Another moment was after we got married (we got married when I was twenty). We were about four years into our marriage. That year was total and absolute hell. We got pregnant by accident, but were thrilled. We lost that baby in a miscarriage. My younger sister attempted suicide. My dad had a health scare. My other younger sister was diagnosed with Grave's disease and had to have her thyroid removed. I was hateful for most of that year. I think I was unconsciously testing him, to see his limits, to see if he would leave. I blamed it on the bad year, but I think it was also me just being immature and a brat. I realized finally that we were in it for the real deal. He was going to be my rock, my friend and the only person who could make me smile in spite of everything sucking. I grew up that year I think and we stopped fighting about stupid stuff (that I would always bring up) and our marriage got so much better. Now, even with three toddlers (4,3 and 3 months) our marriage is a million times better than it was those first four years. :-) But I remember thinking as we were fighting, "He is it. He is really it." And I've never stopped thinking that since then. No matter how angry we get at each other, I know that he has my best interests at heart.
If you asked my H it would be the night that we sat up all night talking while I was still dating my ex. We talked until the wee hours of the morning and then he asked for a kiss before I left and I kissed him. He said he knew right then and there that we would be together and get married some day.
My opinion has to be H going on a family hunting trip in the mountains of Idaho. He called me from the top of a mountain drunk off his ass and confessed his love for me in a 10 minute voice mail. I really wish that I had saved that VM because it was a mixture of absolute absurdity and absolute hilarity all at the same time.
There have been so many defining moments in our relationship because from day one DH has been nothing but unconditionally supportive and loving. It was so hard for me to trust him because I had only ever gone out with complete assholes and had basically given up on men at the time.
Some moments that are popping into my head:
Before we even started dating, he told me he had a dream that we got married. I thought he was full of shit because he was extremely popular with the ladies on campus (we met at school). I thought he was a total player, but I was dead wrong there. He started waiting for me outside of my classes so he could carry my bags to my next class.
When I met his friends a few weeks later, they were all saying, so you're Claire? It's so great to finally meet you! He talks about you all the time! We had gone on maybe two dates at this point.
He drove 5 hours with me a month after we met to meet my whole family at Christmas. I had never brought a boyfriend home before. He was sooooo nervous as we were pulling up which was significant because he is the most outgoing person I have ever met.
After we had been together for about six months I had to move back home (like I said a 5 hour drive away). I got really upset one night at the thought of being apart. He was like why are you upset? I'll move with you. I couldn't believe it. When I was worrying about the logistics of everything, he just said we'll figure it out. That has always been his attitude.
We have been together for 12 years now and it still blows my mind how amazing he is. I could go on and on about how he's been there for me in some of the worst moments of my life. And of course the best, too. I'm very blessed. :heart:
The big one - when he told me to move out with him (4 hours away) because my mom basically kicked me out of the house for going to visit him. We had only dated about 3 months in person, then broke up because I was leaving, and then got back together and dated about 8 months long distance - chatting a lot of IM and emailing bc I didn't have a cell phone and LD was crazy expensive. I'd also call him on his 800 number at work but he was busy so we couldn't talk a ton then. I don't think we would have made it had he not done that because I would have enrolled in school and not been able to move for two more years.
The second - moving to CA together. He moved 3.5 months ahead of me and this decision was the catalyst to many other great things that have happened as sort of a domino effect from this choice.
I knew I was in for it when we went on a 10 day road trip together after 3 months of dating. After 10 straight days together I still wanted to hang out with him the night we got back.
Also, my Parents were going through a really rough and ugly time when we started dating, and he wasn't scared off by it.
Post by aerowife2010 on May 16, 2012 8:01:17 GMT -5
I was attending college in a different state than he was and was miserable. He drove down late at night to come pick me up and drive me back to his apartment so I could get away for the weekend. The drive was 5 hours each way.
It was at that point I knew that any guy who was willing to do that was worth it.