Hopping over from MMM- mealtimes and babies

[cricketwife]

I'm hopping over from MMM because I'm interested to hear how you ladies have handled this.  I hope it's okay to post here. 

I have a 5 month old and we will soon start solids.  I want to have "family meals" but it seems impossible.  DH doesn't get home from work until 6.30 or 7 pm.  We usually eat dinner around 8 or 8.30.  He never wants to eat earlier.  The baby goes to bed at 7.30.  I don't want to make multiple meals.  I also feel like it's good for the baby to be included and to eat with us.  DH has always really resisted eating earlier.  He's a pretty flexible guy, I think his body clock is just set for a later dinner.  I'm interested in what you do/have done in this scenario, particularly if you were able to get your H to eat earlier than he normally would in his culture.  I imagine it comes up pretty often with people on this board.  DH is English and we live in the States fwiw. 

Thanks!

[cricketwife]

Jun 15, 2014 21:10:24 GMT -5 frlcb said:

I don't think this is a cultural thing with your husband, my husband is English and I wouldn't say that his family eats any later than we do here, nor did I feel that way when we lived in the UK. Have you talked to your husband about this? I think if he refuses to eat earlier than 8 or 830 and your baby goes to bed at 730 you won't be able to eat together. Maybe if you start eating with your baby and make him eat alone he will start to eat earlier. I would start by talking to him and telling him what you want. Maybe he will agree to eat earlier.

Well, maybe it's just his family that eats late.  I'm interested to hear what others do who are used to eating late,maybe those on the continent will chime in?  I'm wondering do others keep their babies up later?  Just curious to hear other experiences. 

DS isn't eating with us yet, so DH and I have only discussed it in the theoretical.  I know from experience that every time I've been hungry earlier, DH will just eat on his own.  It doesn't bother him.  It doesn't bother me either, I'm just trying to think of this "famiy dinner' idea that I've got in my head.

[Deleted]

I know a lot of French families whose kids stay up later. I was surprised at how late some of the kids stay up here, but it seems to work with the families. But if your baby has a natural bedtime at 730, you will have a hard time changing that bedtime and asking your husband to eat 2 hours earlier is quite an adjustment IMO. Your baby is still really young, so eating dinner together will be difficult with you trying to feed him and feed yourself at the same time.

I really like the family dinner idea, but I think it is easier to do when baby is a bit older. I'm interested to hear how you do it though!

[aksinger]

We eat dinner late - I don't get done with work until 7 and it's close to 7:30 by the time DH gets home from picking up the baby. We just have a later over all schedule due to our work schedules. So we eat as soon as we can (we do lots of freezer meals or quick to make meals), we usually end up eating sometime 7:45-8:30. DS is 7.5 months and one of us starts feeding him while the other preps dinner and then we eat all together. Bedtime for DS is around 9-9:30. So far it's been working well for us!

[lolo]

Would family breakfast work?

Would DH join you guys at the dinner table a earlier even if he had a glass of wine or something?

[cricketwife]

Jun 16, 2014 10:47:23 GMT -5 lolo said:

Would family breakfast work?

Would DH join you guys at the dinner table a earlier even if he had a glass of wine or something?

Wine is always the answer.    Thanks, good idea!

[Brit]

We don't usually eat with DD. I will sit with her while she eats and maybe have some yogurt or something small, but it is hard for me to get dinner on the table fast enough for her - we get home from daycare at 6:15, she is in bed by 7:30, and H usually works until 9 or 10. DD usually has leftovers from the night before so her food can be ready minutes after she gets home. I am doing my best to be relaxed about this until she is 1) old enough to stay up a bit later and 2) mature enough to entertain herself while I make dinner.

[anna7602]

I'm the late eater in our house (DH never makes it home for dinner anyway). When DD was younger and went to bed earlier, I would sit with her during her dinner and have something to eat with her. Then I would have my "real" dinner after she went to sleep.

Now, DD is 6 and we both have dinner together around 7 or 7:30pm. She comes home from school around 4, has a big snack, then is good to go until dinner time. She goes to bed around 8:30 or 9.

[dulcemariamar]

My LO is 17 months old. She goes to bed at 9. For my Spanish family they think that is so early. We eat dinner as a family around 7. Before LO we would have dinner around 8:30-9 when we lived in Spain. Now that we live in Lux, everyone eats lunch early so we are hungry at 7.

Could you just make one meal and your DH can reheat it later on if he wants.

[potatopie]

My H is the same way. But DS is asleep by 7:30 most nights. Right now, I'm feeding him earlier, and if he's still up when we eat dinner, then he sits with us and eats some bits of things. This works well because if DS is too tired, he won't eat, so at least I know he got something substantial earlier.

DS and I are in the States right now (where we eat at 5!). But I imagine when we go back and he's eating more tablefood....things will gravitate to family dinners around 6:30 or 7.

[VillainV]

Jun 16, 2014 10:47:23 GMT -5 lolo said:

Would family breakfast work?

Would DH join you guys at the dinner table a earlier even if he had a glass of wine or something?

This is what I was going to suggest.  You could even do a snack like veggies and hummus for you and your H.  Though let's be honest, one of you is going to be feeding the baby, and you both might be too busy to actually eat anything.  I agree that it's important to sit down together....though a dinner without the baby is a great way for you and your H to connect as a couple at the end of the day.