Boyfriend not attracted to me anymore.

[stayorgo]

My heart is hurting so much right now, and I am feeling so confused.

I have a BIG weight problem. I am a good 100 lbs overweight. I also have a binge eating problem. I stuff my face when I'm bored, when I am sad, when I'm nervous. Sometimes I'll get cravings and get out of bed to go to the drive-thru at 1 am. I even hide food around the house because I don't want my boyfriend to know how much I eat.

Tonight everything came to a head. He found my stash. My god this is so embarrassing. He kind of freaked out, and rightfully so. He broke down, started crying, and admitted what I have been fearing the most...He is no longer physically attracted to me. he loves me very much and he says he hates himself for feeling this way.

We haven't had sex in about 2 months...And that is right around the time I really started packing on the weight. I know I have a big big problem. And I don't want to drag him down with me. I have no idea what to do. Should we split up? How can I sleep next to him at night knowing how he feels? I don't know if I will ever be able to look at him again....Should I be angry with him for feeling this way? Part of me wants to be, but then again...he can't help it... I am so lost.

[dowagercountess]

You need some therapy. STAT. If he is willing to work with you while you do that, then that's great. If not, he wasn't worth it anyway.

[jens]

I think you need to get to counseling stat to deal with this issue, and make a plan together for you to get on track with some healthier choices.

If you plan on continuing your behavior and not getting help, then yes, I'd say you should split up. But there are so many people in situations just like yours who have turned themselves around. If you love him (and more importantly, if you love yourself), then you can decide that starting right now you are going to do things differently. There is no reason why you can't get the help you need to get healthy, get your relationship back on track, and have a happier life than what you have right now.

If he isn't supportive through the process, then he's not worth your time - but it sounds like he really cares about you.

[hubes]

What she said.

[marynjoe]

What they all said.

[bonquiqui]

I am sorry . I agree with the above advice. Do this for yourself though, and not him. You are worth it

[TrickyBob]

I agree, get some therapy to help work through the actual problem. For yourself. Go to therapy for YOU.

I would also sit down and talk to boyfriend and see how he feels.

If weight is the only issue and the only problem, then I believe you can work through it. If he loves you like he says, he will support you.

Maybe, at some point, ask him if he'd be willing to help you. Go on walks maybe? Go to a gym? <--Together. Change eating habits to healthier, for the both of you.

I've been there in a way. I'm over weight; I need to get this under control too. And the thing is, you are NOT alone.

Take baby steps, get yourself to see someone who can help you see what might be causing the over eating. And then you take it a day at a time and work through it.

You'll get there! And as I said, if your boyfriend loves you like he says, he will stick around. Looks, weight, etc are vanity items. They change, they fade, things happen. You can lose the weight. That doesn't define who you are, that can be changed.