Separation Anxiety

[alias]

E is 10 1/2 months old.  He's always been a pretty easy, chill baby.  He's been in a mama phase for a while, but not too bad.  Mostly when he's tired or sick.  The last week or so, we've crossed over.  One morning he screamed when I dropped him off at daycare, another morning, he screamed all morning while I tried to get ready for work.  All weekend, he was fussy and cranky and mostly unpleasant.  He wants to be with or near me and have my undivided attention 90% of the time.  It's clearly separation anxiety, even at home with him, but cooking or doing anything other than paying attention to him.  I think maybe also boredom?  He has more than enough toys, but they're not new to him.  And I keep him in the living room in a baby gated area a lot, and I think he's pissed about that and wants to crawl all around the house.  But, the other day, even when he could crawl around, he just threw fits if I was not holding him.  Like, full blown temper tantrums, falling on the floor crying.  

I've been reading, but most of the tips are for dealing with leaving him somewhere and my biggest problem is when I am with him.  Any suggestions?  How long did this phase last?  I am losing my patience and I feel bad that I am so frustrated and not enjoying him very much lately.

[jennlin]

you are describing my son.

bjl did not have this problem, she just didn't like *other* people holding her, but was fine on the floor by herself. i will be following this thread for advice!

[karebear219]

When ever bkb does this she is going through something developmentally... Making strides towards walking? Maybe he's working on some new teeth? I know it's hard, but do the best you can and remember this too shall pass. Your son won't cling to you forever. I promise.

[alias]

I thought about teething or being sick, but he sleeps fine at night. It's. during the day when he's playing, but wants my undivided attention. The leap makes sense. I'll try to be patient.

[ilovebed]

I agree with spunbutterfly. Anytime Blb went through a phase like this she learned something new.

[picksthemusic]

Yep, it's developmental. It's a tough stage, but like KB said, it will pass. What I did with M if she wanted to be near me and I had stuff to do, was to put her in either her high chair or jumpy thing and bring it where I was (ie the kitchen to make dinner or whatever) and 'include' her in what I was doing. Whether that was playing with a plastic spoon and bowl, or something similar.

Good luck, I know it's a tough phase!

[stretchad]

Jun 17, 2014 9:32:39 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

Yep, it's developmental. It's a tough stage, but like KB said, it will pass. What I did with M if she wanted to be near me and I had stuff to do, was to put her in either her high chair or jumpy thing and bring it where I was (ie the kitchen to make dinner or whatever) and 'include' her in what I was doing. Whether that was playing with a plastic spoon and bowl, or something similar.

Good luck, I know it's a tough phase!

I've been doing this a lot. I bring him in the kitchen (or wherever I am) and let him play with something new he hasn't played with before. Example - plastic measuring cups in the kitchen, the laundry basket when I'm upstairs. Something that's nearby and not a usual toy for him. That seems to help. I don't do daycare drop offs much but when I do, I tend to make sure he's nearby some babies, or a teacher, and has a distraction so I can leave without him fussing. 

He isn't like this with DH, and I think that is making DH feel bad...

[alias]

Jun 17, 2014 12:35:50 GMT -5 stretchad said:

Jun 17, 2014 9:32:39 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

Yep, it's developmental. It's a tough stage, but like KB said, it will pass. What I did with M if she wanted to be near me and I had stuff to do, was to put her in either her high chair or jumpy thing and bring it where I was (ie the kitchen to make dinner or whatever) and 'include' her in what I was doing. Whether that was playing with a plastic spoon and bowl, or something similar.

Good luck, I know it's a tough phase!

I've been doing this a lot. I bring him in the kitchen (or wherever I am) and let him play with something new he hasn't played with before. Example - plastic measuring cups in the kitchen, the laundry basket when I'm upstairs. Something that's nearby and not a usual toy for him. That seems to help. I don't do daycare drop offs much but when I do, I tend to make sure he's nearby some babies, or a teacher, and has a distraction so I can leave without him fussing. 

He isn't like this with DH, and I think that is making DH feel bad...

I put him in his highchair this morning so I could make his bottles for daycare and that helped.  I think I might pack up some of his toys and rotate them so they seem "new."  

H did seem a little sad that E always preferred me, but now he doesn't care.  And E gets very excited to see him, but doesn't do the whiny, clingy thing with him.  If I leave E home w/ H, he is just fine.  It's when I'm home that it's a problem.

I also tried last night and this morning to be more nicer and more patient, tell him when I had to do something and that I'd be right back.  It seemed to help.  

[ilovebed]

Blb is never clingy like this with. H. It's just me! And it comes and goes. She's in a very clingy and cuddly phase right now. I remember being where you are. At that time someone had given me one of those camping high chairs that clamp on to a picnic table and I put it on my island. It saved me. She still uses it to have a snack when we get home while I'm making dinner.

[shevacc]

I feel like we're still there a lot of the time. G is just a clingy kid. I think around that age was when I started telling her what was going on. It may or may not have helped (it seemed to?) but at least it made me feel better. Something along the lines of "Mama's cooking dinner. See, an onion! Here, play with this measuring cup while I chop this onion" etc.