Serious question about my cockblocking dog.

[coribelle26]

(TMI if you don't want to have to think about me having sex.) Okay so besides "go back in time and don't let your dog sleep in your room," I need suggestions. Our dog sleeps in our room, usually on our bed but lately he's been visiting us in bed for a few minutes at the beginning of the night and then hopping down and sleeping in his own bed (still in our room). However, as soon as there's any sort of movement in the bed he immediately wants to hop back up and see what's going on. If we close him in his crate, he's fine until he realizes that we're not just sleeping and then he cries. If we try to close him out of the room, he cries and barks. (He's fine when we leave the house completely but if we're home and he can't get to us he freaks out. The only exception to that is the shower when he'll leave us alone, which means my death by clumsy shower sex concussion is imminent.)

It's gotten to the point where we now try to have the quietest sex with as little movement as possible (suck on that Christian Grey!) while trying to ignore him, except of course nothing makes us feel LESS amorous than a heartbroken crying dog. Help!

[eightangryreindeer]

peanut butter?

[scotty]

I'd Google for help on this one. There are some training things you can do, but we have our dogs sleep in the other room, because that would equal hell for us, too.

[leeann]

We give our dogs a treat of some kind (like a rawhide or something more time consuming) before closing the door, it buys us some time.

[beer]

Our dog gets a pig ear.

[coribelle26]

I'm going to have to buy more Kongs, aren't I?

In other fun news about my dog, whenever we try to give him any kind of chewy treat that's supposed to take a while (Greenies, bully sticks, etc.) he just swallows them whole and then barfs in the hallway.

[Deleted]

Jul 19, 2012 11:02:10 GMT -5 leeann said:

We give our dogs a treat of some kind (like a rawhide or something more time consuming) before closing the door, it buys us some time.

We do the same!!

[VeryViolet]

Jul 19, 2012 11:04:35 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

I'm going to have to buy more Kongs, aren't I?

In other fun news about my dog, whenever we try to give him any kind of chewy treat that's supposed to take a while (Greenies, bully sticks, etc.) he just swallows them whole and then barfs in the hallway.

Okay for this problem buy the huge kong and stuff it and freeze it. My dog can get a bully stick down in 2 seconds and this actually keeps him entertained for a long time.

For the sex I am no help. I am totally about to get flamed but I have sex with the dog in the bed regularly bc as long as he isn't jumping on us or licking not his own asshole we consider it behavior success. Oh and to get him to do just that takes a lot of yelling and pushing him off.

[kellbell191]

King sized bed? One of ours literally tried to snuggle with me during sex. Every time I would move, he would move and snuggle his head into my shoulder. Damn crazy dog

[thebamker]

have you ever tried to take away the mystery for him? Try not doing anything to him when he gets up on the bed and see what happens. If that's too weird, just 'pretend' to do it and see what he does. He seriously might just want to checkout what you're doing and when he realizes he's not welcome, he may go back to bed. These are the notes on my dog anyway.

[beebeeeater]

I am zero help because my dog gets freaked out when we show any affection to each other. Kissing causes him to hide under the coffee table...bed-shaking sex and he hides in the bathroom until we're done.

I like the frozen Kong idea. I am mean and wouldn't want to waste all those treats, so I'd lock him in the basement or a bathroom away from my bedroom.

[iamgrace]

Jul 19, 2012 12:12:42 GMT -5 @booby said:

this is making me LOL.

anyways, reason # 9849 why having a pet sucks.

i have never disliked the idea of having a pet as much as i do now, after reading the nest/gbcn. and i had a dog growing up who i loved. but yeah, the shit i read on here is enough to make me decide NO PETS. ever.

I'm in favor of no dog ever.

[thebamker]

Jul 19, 2012 12:12:42 GMT -5 @booby said:

this is making me LOL.

anyways, reason # 9849 why having a pet sucks.

i have never disliked the idea of having a pet as much as i do now, after reading the nest/gbcn. and i had a dog growing up who i loved. but yeah, the shit i read on here is enough to make me decide NO PETS. ever.

I defintely feel that way about cats. I'm allergic, so I can't have one anyway, but the nest actually made me happy for the allergy.

[beebeeeater]

Jul 19, 2012 12:12:42 GMT -5 @booby said:

this is making me LOL.

anyways, reason # 9849 why having a pet sucks.

i have never disliked the idea of having a pet as much as i do now, after reading the nest/gbcn. and i had a dog growing up who i loved. but yeah, the shit i read on here is enough to make me decide NO PETS. ever.

This isn't about bad pets, it's about bad/uninformed owners. People who train their dogs properly from the beginning don't have problems like this.

[karmasabiotch]

Put a little penut butter on a busy bone and you can get in about 15 minutes of sex depending on how big of a bone you buy. IMHO 15 minutres is plenty of time. If you want a longer session buy the big bone.

[VeryViolet]

Jul 19, 2012 12:30:45 GMT -5 beebeeeater said:

Jul 19, 2012 12:12:42 GMT -5 @booby said:

this is making me LOL.

anyways, reason # 9849 why having a pet sucks.

i have never disliked the idea of having a pet as much as i do now, after reading the nest/gbcn. and i had a dog growing up who i loved. but yeah, the shit i read on here is enough to make me decide NO PETS. ever.

This isn't about bad pets, it's about bad/uninformed owners. People who train their dogs properly from the beginning don't have problems like this.

ummmmm

Way to be kind of a dick when everyone was just joking around. And this is why I don't ever go to the Pets board for advice on my dog.

[speckledfrog]

We also just have sex with the dog on the bed. It's not ideal, but it works because he is completely uninterested in what we are doing. He usually jumps down part of the way through.

beebeeeater, we all know we aren't supposed to have our dog in the bed but we all chose to do it anyway. We aren't uniformed, we're willful. Suck on that.

[speckledfrog]

My dog has free will!

[speckledfrog]

Tamb, it has to do with dominance and showing your dog that you are the alpha. I highly doubt you are going to run into a problem with Bailey with that! We started with our dog in the crate overnight but I would let him sleep with me when MH went out of town. Then MH wanted to see what it was like and he was just so warm and fuzzy and gosh darn cute that we let him stay. I love to snuggle with him and we haven't had any issues.

[amberlyrose]

My dog usually just sleeps on the end of the bed until she gets annoyed with our movement and lays on the ground. DH's dog sleeps next to the bed anyway.

We have had a few times where they think we are playing, so DH gets up and sticks them in the bathroom with a little food in their bowls. This usually happens in the tickle/cuddle foreplay part, so it's not like it's mid sex.

[coribelle26]

Jul 19, 2012 12:30:45 GMT -5 beebeeeater said:

Jul 19, 2012 12:12:42 GMT -5 @booby said:

this is making me LOL.

anyways, reason # 9849 why having a pet sucks.

i have never disliked the idea of having a pet as much as i do now, after reading the nest/gbcn. and i had a dog growing up who i loved. but yeah, the shit i read on here is enough to make me decide NO PETS. ever.

This isn't about bad pets, it's about bad/uninformed owners. People who train their dogs properly from the beginning don't have problems like this.

Didn't you just say yours hides under the coffee table and panics when you're showing any affection? I look forward to reading your blog on training dogs to fear love.

[leeann]

Jul 19, 2012 12:56:01 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I made a choice to let my dog sleep on my bed. He is fine in his crate during the day, but now he doesn't like being in there at night because he is used to sleeping with us. I don't think it makes me a bad pet owner!

I do the same thing. We have two tiny dogs and they've always slept in the bed. They don't get crated during the day and they are perfectly fine. I don't see why this is such an issue. Before anyone jumps my shit, one of them is 9 years old and he's never hurt himself or gotten into anything during the day when he is roaming free in the house.

[flamingeaux]

Jul 19, 2012 12:25:52 GMT -5 @gypsy said:

Jul 19, 2012 12:22:07 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

We have sex with our dog on the bed. But our dog is 11lbs and stays the hell out of our way. I have no advice for you. Wear earplugs?

LMAO.

"You like that!"

"Whaaa?"

"Harder?!"

"WHAT?"

LOL ;D