Post by bostonrunnah on Jul 19, 2012 13:10:44 GMT -5
I remember the 7 no shows.
2 were a friend and her H who claimed she was "in ACTIVE LABOR" (but didn't give birth until 6 weeks later). Turns out her H was in an art show or something? I haven't spoken to her since.
5 were my cousin, her husband, and their 3 kids. Cousin lives in NC and had appendicitis 3 weeks beforehand. They had decided not to come to MA for the wedding. Wouldn't have been a big deal, except SHE DIDN'T TELL ME. And everyone assumed she just "didn't want to make me feel bad". Ya know what makes me feel bad? Wasting $80 a head on people who don't show up.
The only people who didn't give a gift were my H's aunt and uncle, who make a combined 8 figures a year (she's pres of a company that lobbies for alternative energy, uncle is senior executive counsel at an extremely large, global investment firm). Their daughters were our 2 flower girls. We figure they just forgot to cut a check, but the awkwardness convinced us to not say anything.
We had 5 no-shows: H's grandparents, but his grandmother wasn't doing well. H's friend's wife, but she was hugely pregnant so not surprised. And our old neighbors, who couldn't get a sitter. The old neighbors did come for the ceremony but since their's was the only kid, they didn't stay. I side-eyed one of H's groomsman for not getting us at least a card as he wasn't forthcoming with time or money for H's bachelor party either. One of my bridesmaids didn't get us a card, but I know she put a lot of time/effort/money into my shower and bachelorette. There were other guests too that didn't get us anything. They'll be the ones all put out when people don't give them gifts at their own weddings too.
Post by partiallysunny on Jul 19, 2012 13:33:49 GMT -5
Nope.
I do remember no getting a card from H's great-uncle. I was writing thank you cards and trying to remember who was all there I noticed we didn't have a card from him. He's a sweet old man and he always thanks us for the Christmas card we send him. I only remember because we thought it was strange.
Post by firedancer49 on Jul 19, 2012 13:34:03 GMT -5
We only had a few no shows - one person's car died on the way and the other had to go on a 2 day business trip on the Monday after and said they needed to pack. That was the only one to upset me, since we were pretty close. They did send a card to my parents with money in it afterward to cover their plates, and they did give us a gift.... so that was ok in my mind. One other person too - she RSVP'd for her and a date, plus 3 other people - who we NEVER met or knew who they were. My mil had to make the call and say we were sorry but they extra people could not come. She never ended up coming to the wedding either.
We also did not receive gifts from a few people. My parents were most pissed than we were.
I remember the one no show and the no gifts. It wasn't because they didn't give a gift, it was because they were kind of glaring exceptions.
The only other faux pas I remember is that one guest decided it was okay to take my bouquet home at the end of the night with my great-gmom's wedding hanky wrapped around it. I actually took great pleasure in calling the next day and making her deliver it back to me at the hotel.
I remember the one no show and the no gifts. It wasn't because they didn't give a gift, it was because they were kind of glaring exceptions.
The only other faux pas I remember is that one guest decided it was okay to take my bouquet home at the end of the night with my great-gmom's wedding hanky wrapped around it. I actually took great pleasure in calling the next day and making her deliver it back to me at the hotel.
WTF?
I understand taking a bridesmaids bouquet if they are ok with it but the BRIDE'S?
I remember the one no show and the no gifts. It wasn't because they didn't give a gift, it was because they were kind of glaring exceptions.
The only other faux pas I remember is that one guest decided it was okay to take my bouquet home at the end of the night with my great-gmom's wedding hanky wrapped around it. I actually took great pleasure in calling the next day and making her deliver it back to me at the hotel.
WTF?
I understand taking a bridesmaids bouquet if they are ok with it but the BRIDE'S?
I would have cut a bitch!
all class, all class..... let's just say there was 100% no excuse. It was on my table in a vase, the woman who took it was of sound mind and body and a reasonably close relative.
The only reason I was even able to get the hanky back was because one of my bridesmaids noticed and when I was lamenting the loss the next day, spoke up and told me.
Uggghhhh. We have a wedding to attend in El Paso this weekend. I'm flying to DFW tomorrow morning for an interview at 6am. Then flying back at 4, and leaving immediately to drive to EP (interview scheduled after I RSVPd and the only day they could do it). My H is trying to talk me out of going to this wedding, but we RSVPd yes, and feel obligated to go. This post confirms that feeling.
Oh, I think it is completely understandable that life can get in the way of plans. It's how you go about handling it that leaves the lasting impression.
Just not showing up after RSVPing for several guests stings a little bit. But a phone call a few days beforehand apologizing and explaining the situation is completely understandable and forgiveable!
I do remember some of the people who didn't give us gifts. H's 2 brothers both didn't get us so much as a card...one told us that flying up for our wedding and being a groomsmen was his and his gf's gift and the other, who was the Best Man just didn't get us anything. My Maid of Honor got us a card, if the two brothers had done that, I wouldn't mind.
I think we had only a few people RSVP yes and not show, but I don't remember who.
What I remember most of the things that pissed me off was H calling me either after his bachelor party or a week before the wedding practically in tears because his brothers were being assholes. They also left the reception early to drive to a town an hour away to go out to the bars with their other friends. My siblings and a lot of our friends stayed and we all went out to the bar afterwards.
Basically my BILs are selfish dicks, but H refuses to see their faults or expect anything better out of them.
I don't remember the gifts, but I sure remember the no-shows.
We had a guest list of less than 60 and 7 of DH's family didn't show up (aunt, uncle, their 3 adult kids and their spouses). I had spoken to all of them the week of and nobody mentioned anything about not coming. Our venue would take cancellations up to 48 hours before, so had we known even then it would have saved us $$$.
We found out the week after when DH checked his email they sent him an email an hour before the wedding just saying they weren't coming. No reason, nothing. Who checks their email an hour before their wedding?
We were pretty pissed when, 2 weeks later, they showed up at another family wedding and acted as if there was nothing wrong, not even an apology or acknowledgement of our wedding. I am still pissy about it several years later.
I do know that on Saturday, I went to a Cambodian wedding. The custom is that there's envelopes in each table, and you put money in the envelopes and the bride/groom come over and collect them, while they thank you for coming and they take a group (table) pic.
In our table, which was filled with non cambodians, we didn't know this until we saw the REST of the tables (after our table) doing this. Whoops.
So then, I asked "where do you leave the presents" (We had just a card with $$$). No one knew, because everyone gifts money via the envelope vehicle (I guess?). So then I saw a little room, where the family was opening all the envelopes, and counting the cash.
And all of a sudden, I'm all BUT HOW WILL THEY KNOW THAT *I* gave (the couple) something. So I told one of her family "Can you please please make sure that she gets this". I was kinda worried that they'll open the card, and put the money in the collective bucket.
I saw (the family member) yesterday in (the couple's) going away party, and (the family member) SINGLED ME OUT saying "YES, that's the person that really wanted to make sure that you got the envelope".
I felt a bit shitty. She said it so condescendingly. All I wanted is for my friend to know that I got her something.
Then I wonder, why? IT'S BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING NEST, man.
Post by janiejones on Jul 19, 2012 19:38:47 GMT -5
I only remember the no show, because it was the GF of an old CW of MrJJ who went apeshit the night before and I heard the whole story later on (not at the wedding, where CW played it cool and did not look like someone who's guitar collection was just smashed to bits by a crazy whore).
And that the Worstman didn't get us a gift because i keep track of all his social faux pas's in life. There may have been others who knows.
Post by regencygirl on Jul 19, 2012 21:17:02 GMT -5
Married 8 years, I still remember the no-shows. One was a friend who was in the Navy. He was supposed to be home, but his tour got extended. Not arguing with the US Navy. One was a coworker, who sent me an email the day after, she'd fallen the day before and broke her foot and was in a huge cast and couldn't hobble well on the crutches. One was another coworker (who RSVP'd with a guest) who gave no excuse. I found out later she'd decided to go shopping in New York. Got cards / gifts from the friend and coworker. Miss NYC never said a thing.
All I remember was that we didn't get a gift from my dad or H's parents. And no, they didn't help pay for the wedding. It didn't even dawn on me until weeks later. It wasn't a big deal, I was just glad my dad actually showed for the wedding.