Are these gifts fair for twins?

[mbcdefg]

MH's twin cousins are turning four years old. I just got back from Christmas Tree Shop with these gifts:

tea set ($13): www.boscovs.com/wcsstore/boscovs/images/store/product/images/58976814161060.jpg

Princess Tiana costume ($10): ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51P4iOjO2HL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

two giant coloring books (one Minnie mouse, one Strawberry Shortcake, $4 each). I need to get two packs of crayons to go with it.

So if one girl gets the tea set and the other girl gets the costume, and they both get crayons and a coloring book, do you think that's "even" enough?

[Deleted]

I would never do this. Give them each the SAME exact thing. Not twins, but there are little girl 3 months apart in my family, & if you buy one something & the other does not get the samea full scale tantrum will result.

[Deleted]

I always give twins the exact same thing until they are old enough to request different things. With this I would put everything in one box with both their names.

[Deleted]

I think it's fine!

[luvmagoldn]

Hmmm...Tricky. I like where you are going with this but can you get two different costumes? That would make it alike but not exactly the same.

Personally, I hated getting two of exactly the same thing. One, I wanted to support their individuality and two, who needs two of everything?

[MadamePresident]

I think they are fair, but at 4 years old, they may not realize it. Are they very similair or are they each into their own things?

[mbcdefg]

Getting them basically identical gifts (like one Tiana costume and one, say, Ariel costume) was my original intention. But the Tiana costume was the only costume left, and although there were several tea sets left they were all the same exact thing with no difference in color or character so buying two identical tea sets would've been stupid.

It's not a hassle to return them, since the store is right by my office.

However, would it change your opinion that these kids are the youngest of seven total, the family has more toys than it knows what to do with? No matter what I get these kids they're probably going to (a) fight over it, and/or (b) play with it once and then throw it in the pile with everything else.

But yeah, I asked because I had the feeling that they'd both probably prefer the costume, so I guess a return is in order. Thank you for confirming my thought.

[mbcdefg]

Jul 19, 2012 13:06:23 GMT -5 MadamePresident said:

I think they are fair, but at 4 years old, they may not realize it. Are they very similair or are they each into their own things?

No idea, we don't see them very often. They're always dressed alike, and the party is Disney Princess themed so I guess they're into that right now.

They just have SO MANY toys that I've never really seen them devoted to one thing in particular. They pick up one thing, occasionally fight over it, then two minutes later they throw it away and get something new.

[Ashley&Scott]

What about some Disney books, coloring books or movies?

I agree you should try to keep it the same, 4 yr olds aren't going to understand.

[hannamaren]

If it was a teaset and a lego kit..no problem. But you cant share a costume.
My nieces are 4 yrs apart and we bought them the same costume. Just in case.

[mbcdefg]

OK, thanks. I'll return it and then maybe check Toys r Us for a better selection.

[cricketwife]

Could you get this and have them share?

www.target.com/p/disney-princess-sparkle-shoe-boutique/-/A-13396991#?lnk=sc_qi_detaillink

Somebody posted this recently as a great gift for a 4 yr old girl. It's Disney themed and it lends itself very well to sharing...since neither girl could wear all 8 shoes at once. lol!

[h]

I would get two of the same or close to the same thing. Four is right when kids really struggle with jealousy issues--they are old enough to understand that they got a different toy than their sib, but not old enough to really understand why, that they toys are roughly equal, etc.

[dr.girlfriend]

I would try to return the coloring book and crayons, and get a tea set and two costumes. I know you said it was the last one, but hopefully you can find another somewhere. That way they can each dress up and have tea together. ;-)

[huey]

I have 4 year old twin nieces and I vote for something similar if not the same. Granted, in 2 weeks, it may not matter, but inevitably, they will want what the other has.

We do the same/similar for them now. And when they are older with different interests we will go that route.

[livinitup]

My 4 year old would prefer the tea set.


I like putting everything in one box with 2 names.

[mbcdefg]

The store was close to work, do I stopped on way home to return the gifts. When I looked at them more closely the boxes looked a little beat up so it's better off I returned them anyway.

I went to Toys r Us and got a Belle doll, a Snow White doll, and two small activity sets.

Thanks for the advice

[dragonfly08]

It's fair, yes, but probably tough for 4 yo girls, especially when they are twins, to understand. I think the dolls and activity sets are a much better option...different enough for individuality but similar enough that they don't feel one truly got a "better" gift than the other. Sure they may fight over who gets Belle v. Snow White if they happen to both prefer the same one but that's normal and not at all unfair.

[GailGoldie]

as a twin mom - i do not expect people to get the same thing for my boys- they know that all toys in our house are to share (with all 3 brothers).... each boy is allowed to have something special that they "love" - which is usually a lovey type thing (for Gibby it is his little cars, for gray it changes every few weeks, etc)... and those things they don't have to share --- but everything else gets shared - so it's BETTER when we get different things.