I'm curious to get other perspectives on this. This is NOT me, this happened to a friend of mine.
My friend - she STAUNCHLY feels that handicapped parking spaces need to be saved for those who really need them. This is partially fueled by a customer who used to come into the restaurant many years ago where she worked at the time. He had handicapped plates and was in a wheelchair. He would always drop his coworkers off and go park elsewhere. She asked him once why he didn't use the handicapped space and he told her that he didn't need it and would rather keep it open for someone who feels they do need it.
So, years later, she's married. Her IL's both have many physical issues and as such, have a handicapped hang-tag. They always carry it w/ them. But they are both able to walk. Just slowly.
The following happened a couple times:
First time was on "their" turf. She and DH visited IL's. They go out to eat but DH is driving. IL's say "park in the handicapped spot", my friend said "No, we'll drop you off".
IL's are pissed- they have the tag, they want to use it. She says "no - but you still won't have to walk. We'll pick you up and drop you off". And she tells them why this is so important to her.
It becomes a battle, though. Neither side wants to back down.
The 2nd time happens when IL's come to visit. They bring their tag, say "hang it in your car", she says "no" - and the same battle ensues.
They feel it's their "right" to use the tag, even though in reality, by being dropped off/ picked up, they have an even shorter distance to walk. Which is her arguement.
So - whose right? Should they use the spot simply because they can or should they leave it available for someone else who doesn't have the same options they do? And does the "turf" matter in this?
I see her point, but would not get into a pissing match with ILs over it.
this.
I drop my mom off and DH when he had a broken leg. only rarely do I use the handicap pass when I'm with them. but, not worth it for the few times I"m sure she sees her IL.
I guess, legally, they have the tag and they can do whatever they want.
Morally, I think people should try to leave spaces for those who really need them. It royally pisses me off when I see able bodied people waltzing from their car in the handicapped spot while other people are all bent over a walker/cane/grocery cart and struggling to make it up from the back of the lot.
I don't care so much in some places. Our local Wal-Mart has about five million handicapped parking spots and they are mostly empty. Other local places have only one or two spots, and I think that's when able bodied people with hang tags should not be douchebags.
the ils are right. they have a handicap tag, they get to use it especially if they are on "their turf". they aren't insisting on parking in the handicap spot without proper id.
friend needs to learn that there are much more important battles to fight. this is not a hill to die on.
I think it's more an issue of attitude than being right or wrong. We could label it as humility versus entitlement, but the point is that I don't believe there is a right or wrong here. It's personal and subjective, and like in other car-related matters, I believe the car's owner gets to make the rules for *their* car.
Post by tripleshot on May 15, 2012 10:23:14 GMT -5
I have a handicap tag for arthritis and poor circulation. I see her point, but like pp said, she shouldn't be arguing with them about it. Just use the spot and save the arguing.
Personally, I try not to use the spots unless if I'm having a bad day or there are no others nearby.
I believe the car's owner gets to make the rules for *their* car.
This is where I ultimately fall.
I fully agree where my friend was coming from, but when they were on IL's turf, she needed to back down. But when they were on her turf, THEY needed to back down.
I hate being picked up and dropped off. I think she is being silly, and I would be really annoyed if I were her MIL or FIL. There are 2 people in the vehicle that have a legitimate reason to use the space, use the space if those people want to. It would be different if only FIL needed the tag, and MIL took it along just to get a good space, that's not the case.
My dad has this issue too, he has a handicap hangtag b/c he's blind in one eye. So while he can walk fine, seeing things on that one side are an issue.
Then he also jokes that at some places like the grocery store it's moot b/c the handicap spots are always full.
I see her point, but would not get into a pissing match with ILs over it.
I agree. No use picking fights over something they will not change their minds about. And it's not like they are young, able bodied people parking in handicapped spots.
I guess, legally, they have the tag and they can do whatever they want.
Morally, I think people should try to leave spaces for those who really need them. It royally pisses me off when I see able bodied people waltzing from their car in the handicapped spot while other people are all bent over a walker/cane/grocery cart and struggling to make it up from the back of the lot.
I don't care so much in some places. Our local Wal-Mart has about five million handicapped parking spots and they are mostly empty. Other local places have only one or two spots, and I think that's when able bodied people with hang tags should not be douchebags.
Although there are people who don't need handicap stickers and abuse the system, I wouldn't be so quick to judge whether or not someone is able bodied or not. My mom has multiple sclerosis and can walk without her cane most of the time. In the summer she has to use her handicap parking pass because the heat wears her out really quickly. I'm sure that at the first store she goes to she may seem able bodied but in order for her to be able to walk for the whole day she has to use the handicap spot.
I get your friend's point - I would feel weird as an able-bodied person parking in a handicap spot - but I also wouldn't make a huge fuss about it. It's not like they drive their ILs every day - they don't even seem to live in the same town. Just deal with it for the length of the visit.
Oh but as for her belief that some people who possess tags shouldn't use them - that's BS. If you qualify for a tag, you may use it. When your friend has a tag of her own, she can decide whether or not to use it. Until then, she can cool it with the judgement.
I tend to think handicap spots are stupid anyway in most situations. For example, handicap parking in front of a mall. Youre probably going to walk a half a mile or more in the mall, yet you *need* to park 20 feet from the door? It's just weird to me.
If the ILs were the ones driving, then I don't think she would be in a position to say anything. But if she or her husband are driving, I think it's fair for her to park where she feels comfortable, so long as she doesn't make them walk.
This one And I know it's...odd to think. And there are situations, like my cousin has a wheelchair so he needs the extra space to get everything situtuated, but most of the handicap spaces I see now aren't even wide enough for that, and he usually ends up parking further down at the end where there's not a lot of cars. But yeah, logically, 40 extra feet isnt going to do anything in at the mall or theme park etc. Edit stupid auto word
I tend to think handicap spots are stupid. For example, handicap parking in front of a mall. Your probably going to walk a half a mile or more in the mall, yet you *need* to park 20 feet from the door? It's just weird to me.
This one And I know it's...odd to think. And there are situations, like my cousin has a wheelchair so he needs the extra space to get everything situtuated, but most of the handicap spaces I see now aren't even wide enough for that, and he usually ends up parking further down at the end where there's not a lot of cars. But yeah, logically, 40 extra feet isnt going to do anything in at the mall or theme park etc. Edit stupid auto word
where are you getting 40 extra feet? at my mall, the back of the parkinglot is a lot farther away than 40 feet.
OP, your friend sounds like a good person who needs to learn how to pick her battles.
I tend to think handicap spots are stupid. For example, handicap parking in front of a mall. Your probably going to walk a half a mile or more in the mall, yet you *need* to park 20 feet from the door? It's just weird to me.
But yeah, Not s hill to die on. Use the darn tag.
My grandmother can only walk very short distances and so she has a wheelchair we use when we are going to be walking around somewhere. When we take her to the mall we use the tag because it can be very difficult for her to get in and out of her wheelchair in between regular spaces. We have to help her into it and then we push her around the mall. Most handicapped people are not going to be just walking around the mall freely.
I guess, legally, they have the tag and they can do whatever they want.
Morally, I think people should try to leave spaces for those who really need them. It royally pisses me off when I see able bodied people waltzing from their car in the handicapped spot while other people are all bent over a walker/cane/grocery cart and struggling to make it up from the back of the lot.
I don't care so much in some places. Our local Wal-Mart has about five million handicapped parking spots and they are mostly empty. Other local places have only one or two spots, and I think that's when able bodied people with hang tags should not be douchebags.
I LOOK able bodied to strangers, but I legitimately have trouble walking. You may see a slight limp if you stare, but otherwise, I look healthy.
I don't think you can judge based on looks. There are people with heart problems who can't walk long distances, fake limbs, fatigue issues, etc.
My co-worker uses her parents handicap tag to park at work. IT DRIVES ME NUTS. Our lot fills up really quick, and sometimes people have to park in a different lot. She uses the tag every day.
...I feel like I should report her or something, because she's clearly abusing it. I don't want to a tattlebutt, but it's really just not right.