I guess, legally, they have the tag and they can do whatever they want.
Morally, I think people should try to leave spaces for those who really need them. It royally pisses me off when I see able bodied people waltzing from their car in the handicapped spot while other people are all bent over a walker/cane/grocery cart and struggling to make it up from the back of the lot.
I don't care so much in some places. Our local Wal-Mart has about five million handicapped parking spots and they are mostly empty. Other local places have only one or two spots, and I think that's when able bodied people with hang tags should not be douchebags.
My MIL has really bad knees and it's hard for her to walk in that it's tough on her joints, but an outsider wouldn't see her actually struggling to walk. She also has problems just bending to get into cars because it's hard for her to bend her knees that much. So I can see why she'd want to save the stress/aggrevation on her knees for times when she has no choice. Others would think she was an ass.
My SIL is perfectly fine and capable, but has a 7 year old in a wheelchair. Now, it's really just a heavy duty stroller, so some can argue that there is no reason to use the handicapped space for that. Plus, it's not like she isn't going to be pushing the wheelchair around the store or whatever.
In both cases, I think people would probably judge them, but I think they're asses for doing so.
Well, you can think I'm an ass, that's cool. lol
FWIW, I don't make assumptions about old people, I assume they're old and frail. I also give people a pass in wheelchairs and all that jazz. I have lupus, and there are days when I have to use my body to push the cart because my arms don't have the strength. My husband is 34 and needs a total knee replacement, but he's too young for one. I know all about looking fine but feeling like shit.
My comment is more aimed towards a few people I know who do abuse their handicapped hang tag and make it known. You know, because they don't like walking from the back of the parking lot.
But yeah, logically, 40 extra feet isnt going to do anything in at the mall or theme park etc.
There are a million different scenario's, though, as to why people want to park closer. And while you think the mall is silly- if I'm only going to one or two stores, I try to park at the end of the mall that is close to that store.
The closest experience I have that I can relate to is being 9 months PG. It was TAXING on me. I avoided curbs - I'd always look for the ramps because even stepping off a curb was too much for me. A few stores in my area have PG women parking, and let me tell you- I LOVED it.
It's "only" 40 feet when you have no issues w/ walking. but when you get tired easily and DO have problems walking- that 40 feet can make a world of difference.
The ILs need to lighten up. Its weird to me that they don't understand.
I don't get this.. I think SHE needs to lighten up. SHE isn't the one that is put off by having to be dropped off by her kid and wait around for the both of you after drop off and before pick up.
This one And I know it's...odd to think. And there are situations, like my cousin has a wheelchair so he needs the extra space to get everything situtuated, but most of the handicap spaces I see now aren't even wide enough for that, and he usually ends up parking further down at the end where there's not a lot of cars. But yeah, logically, 40 extra feet isnt going to do anything in at the mall or theme park etc. Edit stupid auto word
where are you getting 40 extra feet? at my mall, the back of the parkinglot is a lot farther away than 40 feet.
OP, your friend sounds like a good person who needs to learn how to pick her battles.
Shrug. I've probably never parked further than about 40 -60 feet from a door, usually closer. Fortunately the malls around here, although busy, have a ton of entrances. I realize that's not the case everywhere. But as I said before, most of the handicap spaces are just blue painted regular spaces, they don't have enough room for safe wheelchair set up, which is a shame. It's just big walking places I had in mind, I should've specified that small stuff like pharmacies, grocery stores, restaurants etc are a different situation.
Post by eightangryreindeer on May 15, 2012 10:58:18 GMT -5
Your friend is acting like a total jackass. She is not the arbiter of whose handicap is more worthy than someone else's. Being able to walk with difficulty is meaningless here, so what - maybe their handicap is emphysema or COPD?
I'll agree that it's weird that they wouldn't get dropped off so her DH could park somewhere else, but it's a supremely stupid thing to argue about.
I'd be curious to know if your same friend will use a disabled person's stall in the bathroom if it's the only one available or if she'll wait for a regular stall. If the answer is yes, unfriend!
This is a gray area IMO. We don't know what conditions they have that necessitated the handicapped tag. Honestly, if my ILs got to the point that walking from a regular spot to go somewhere left them out of breath and unable to enjoy the rest of their outing, I wouldn't begrudge them.
But I also agree that typically you see more than one handicapped spot, and if you have a tag, why not use it? I wouldn't be the one to make that judgment call as the able-bodied person.
Wow, I'm amazed at how many people I disagree with here.
Which ones? Do you think the OP's friend should have refused to honor her guests' wishes for the duration of their short visit? Or do you agree with the PP who is against handicap parking altogether?
Wow, I'm amazed at how many people I disagree with here.
Which ones? Do you think the OP's friend should have refused to honor her guests' wishes for the duration of their short visit? Or do you agree with the PP who is against handicap parking altogether?
Come on now, I'm not completely against it all together and I've said that. I'm sorry I didnt take the time to be more thorough in my original post.
Wow, I'm amazed at how many people I disagree with here.
Which ones? Do you think the OP's friend should have refused to honor her guests' wishes for the duration of their short visit? Or do you agree with the PP who is against handicap parking altogether?
I posted my opinion earlier. I think the friend is right. If it's her or her husband who are doing the driving, than I think she should feel free to park as she feels comfortable, so long as she isn't causing her ILs undue exertion. I think the ILs are being a bit unreasonable.
...he told her that he didn't need it and would rather keep it open for someone who feels they do need it.
Her inlaws feel they do need it and would rather use it than be dropped off/picked up. The end. This isn't in conflict with the spirit behind the guy in the wheelchair's sentiment.
Post by hannamarin on May 15, 2012 13:35:54 GMT -5
I also laugh at all the armchair doctors. Andwho said you are walking all around the mall? Maybe you are going to one store. And therefore those 40 feet might matter
I'm fairly militant about the use of handicapped spaces since I had surgery on my foot/leg when I was a teen and was put in the position of having to hobble on crutches and full-leg cast from the street to the door, having followed someone into the parking lot who parked in the last handicapped space because she "was only going to be a second." My good friend was hit by a car (crushed between her car and house by a drunk driver who jumped a curb) which crushed pretty much everything from ribcage to ankle but she refused for many years to use the placard because "at least I can walk. That's more than I'd ever hoped or they ever expected. Others don't have that luxury." I'm militant enough that if all the spaces are full, I look to make sure everyone is legit. When we pulled into a restaurant not long ago, the car in front of us pulled into the last space right in front of the door. People piled out of the car carrying balloons and packages (not a visible injury in sight) and went inside to eat. I made mention to the hostess to request that the people in the space either move their car or place their hangtag for visibility; they did apparently have a hang-tag and the wife sent her husband out to hang it properly.
It should be duly noted that we also have a currently valid (temporary) hang-tag for use of handicapped spaces since DH is recuperating from surgery. We weren't going to use the space because he didn't feel he needed it and he was mobile enough to get across the parking lot but the point was that we should have been ABLE to use the space if it was necessary because we had a valid injury which entitled the use of the space. My DH thought I was being an ass, I thought the last space should be made available for someone who needed it and not someone who had a bunch of balloons to carry; they had a hangtag so I was fine and appreciative that they went out to hang it. We only used ours when DH was on crutches and it was icy and snowy or wet and slippery outside and we had concerns of him falling and reinjuring himself or he had a lot of things to carry and it would have been impossible to navigate from elsewhere. We have no intention of using it again since DH is fairly well recovered. That's the expectation I would *hope* others have with regard to the use of the spaces. If you don't need it, save it for someone who does.
I'm with friend on the belief and would hold initially to my stance, but these are her IL's and at some point she should graciously back down. They're older, it's obvious they have a hard time getting around and their doctor feels they qualify for the hangtag. She's not going to change their minds.
I'm fairly militant about the use of handicapped spaces since I had surgery on my foot/leg when I was a teen and was put in the position of having to hobble on crutches and full-leg cast from the street to the door, having followed someone into the parking lot who parked in the last handicapped space because she "was only going to be a second." My good friend was hit by a car (crushed between her car and house by a drunk driver who jumped a curb) which crushed pretty much everything from ribcage to ankle but she refused for many years to use the placard because "at least I can walk. That's more than I'd ever hoped or they ever expected. Others don't have that luxury." I'm militant enough that if all the spaces are full, I look to make sure everyone is legit. When we pulled into a restaurant not long ago, the car in front of us pulled into the last space right in front of the door. People piled out of the car carrying balloons and packages (not a visible injury in sight) and went inside to eat. I made mention to the hostess to request that the people in the space either move their car or place their hangtag for visibility; they did apparently have a hang-tag and the wife sent her husband out to hang it properly.
It should be duly noted that we also have a currently valid (temporary) hang-tag for use of handicapped spaces since DH is recuperating from surgery. We weren't going to use the space because he didn't feel he needed it and he was mobile enough to get across the parking lot but the point was that we should have been ABLE to use the space if it was necessary because we had a valid injury which entitled the use of the space. My DH thought I was being an ass, I thought the last space should be made available for someone who needed it and not someone who had a bunch of balloons to carry; they had a hangtag so I was fine and appreciative that they went out to hang it. We only used ours when DH was on crutches and it was icy and snowy or wet and slippery outside and we had concerns of him falling and reinjuring himself or he had a lot of things to carry and it would have been impossible to navigate from elsewhere. We have no intention of using it again since DH is fairly well recovered. That's the expectation I would *hope* others have with regard to the use of the spaces. If you don't need it, save it for someone who does.
I'm with friend on the belief and would hold initially to my stance, but these are her IL's and at some point she should graciously back down. They're older, it's obvious they have a hard time getting around and their doctor feels they qualify for the hangtag. She's not going to change their minds.
I am envisioning you flagellating yourself the entire time it took you to type this.
Perhaps he is embarrassed to be dropped off at the curb. I see no problem with people who are issued handicap tags to actually use them. Unless you know their medical history, you don't know if they "really need" the extra help.
Post by UMaineTeach on May 15, 2012 14:45:46 GMT -5
I think if someone has a tag/plate it is 100% up to the owner of the tag/plate to decide to use it our not .
and judging anyone for using a properly acquired tag/plate, regardless of physical appearance or you having 'a worse disability and dealing just fine' is douche behavior.
Post by basilosaurus on May 15, 2012 14:45:56 GMT -5
My grandma has a tag. She can walk just fine. She doesn't have a walker or wheelchair or anything like that.
However, she needs that damn tag. While she can walk from the spot to the door without too much problem, she's entirely winded at the end of it. You wouldn't see it driving by, and you'd think she's an oldie abusing it, but I see it as really important for her to save as much energy as possible. Once she gets in the store she gasps for breath and slowly works her way through the grocery or pharmacy. So, yes, an extra 40 ft closer matters.
oh good grief, she needs to get over it. It isnt like they are trying to park w/o a tag. They have issues. yes, they can walk but does she know if they are in pain when they walk? perhaps it is a true struggle. She needs some perspective on this one.
This one And I know it's...odd to think. And there are situations, like my cousin has a wheelchair so he needs the extra space to get everything situtuated, but most of the handicap spaces I see now aren't even wide enough for that, and he usually ends up parking further down at the end where there's not a lot of cars. But yeah, logically, 40 extra feet isnt going to do anything in at the mall or theme park etc. Edit stupid auto word
Actually it encourages them to continue business at these venues.
Post by ruthie7532 on May 15, 2012 19:19:57 GMT -5
I fill the requests for handicapped tags out all the time. In my state, the requirements are pretty lax. Just a good reason why someone might have trouble walking 200 feet without stopping. Or anybody who needs any device to assist them in walking. If the state (or really, their doctor) thinks they qualify, why second guess that?
Speaking as someone with a family member in a wheelchair, I have no problem with us using the tag to park in a handicap spot when we are together. It can be difficult for him to be dropped off and then left while I find a place to park. I know that's not exactly what the OP asked, but it might be another perspective for her friend to consider.
In any case, no matter what the friend thinks this seems like a strange hill to die on with the IL's.
I don't care so much in some places. Our local Wal-Mart has about five million handicapped parking spots and they are mostly empty. Other local places have only one or two spots, and I think that's when able bodied people with hang tags should not be douchebags.
I agree with this. But I also agree with PP's that it is not a hill worth dying on when IL's are involved. I might try to wage this war with my own fam or friends if we're at a place with only 1 handicapped spot...but starting battles with IL's? No thank you.