[quote author="flygirl" source="/post/6722348/thread" timestamp="1404141803"We gave a ton of Ds's stuff to H's niece and she turned around and sold it (while she was pregnant) so my thoughts on this subject are definitely skewed too.
Wtf? Unbelievable.
[/quote] Yeah, needless to say, she won't be getting anything else from us. SIL asked if we'd save boots and snowpants for her--I gave her a non answer at the time--but the answer is HELL NO!
No one should assume that they have a right to claim your items. That's just rude.
I gave away about 90% of my baby stuff after Kirklette because I wanted to do so. We knew we were having a large gap (4 years) between children. We didn't want to store a bunch of stuff for a long period of time. I knew I'd want to pick out new items for baby 2. We knew people and organizations who could use the items immediately. People were extremely generous to us, so we wanted to pay it forward. This was our choice. If anyone gad forced us to do this, I would've been livid.
This. The expectation is weird. However, I gave away a good share of DDs stuff. Mainly clothes (they're a dime a dozen, I have sentimental attachment to two outfits and I have no high end baby clothes) and baby gear I didn't use/like. I figured with the gear if I didn't love it with DD I wouldn't care about it/can't miss what you don't have for 2.
A lot of it was also handmedowns that circulated in the family and I wanted to pay it forward as well.
Now with DS I'll be giving it all away to my sister when I'm done and whoever else. If we have more kids it'll be at least 4 years and some of it since was DDs will be 10 years old by then...someone might as well have it in the meantime.
I have no desire to sell stuff. I feel like I live in the only place on the planet where baby gear is not worth a fortune...ha. I mean $10.00 to sell an exersaucer and the hassle it requires? No thanks. I also don't want to store a ton of it.
The only thing I'll ask for back is my BOB. That'd I'd probably sell. But it'll three years before I'm done with it, plus however family wants it so it won't be worth anything either.
I am saving ours for if we have a second boy and then in the end it's going to my brother or husband's sisters, but there are no expectations and I haven't told anyone about my plans.
I personally would like to give all DS' stuff away. We're most likely done and even if we aren't, I'd prefer a larger gap anyway and really don't want to store stuff for a long period. I won't lie, based on my relationship with my siblings, yes I'd expect some of their kids' stuff if we were having kids close together. My older sister kept a lot for me (but eventually got rid of them because we had kids 5 years apart). If my younger sister or brother were having kids now, there's no question they'd be getting some of our stuff.
We got a lot of hand me downs from family, which I've very grateful and I hope to pass it on to my sisters when we are done with it. I'm not loaning anything until we are done and will probably try to sell my BOB. I plan to keep a few sentimental outfits. I did ask to borrow things from friends, but only big items like the jumperoo.
Post by shellbear09 on Jun 30, 2014 11:33:57 GMT -5
I don't think anyone is obligated to give away baby stuff. It is expensive and you may want to try to sell first. If you want to do it then great but I wouldn't feel bad. It is rude for people to assume or ask for it.
Post by curbsideprophet on Jun 30, 2014 11:38:28 GMT -5
I have given away things we really do not think we will use. For the most part I can not be bothered with trying to sell things. Family and friends have been very generous with giving us things (new and used). So if I can help someone else out by doing the same, then I will.
That being said no one has asked for our stuff and I certainly did not give everything away yet. There is a good chance we are done at two, but I am still holding on to some if DD baby clothes for now.
I certainly would not hand over everything if I thought I might have more kids.
Post by MadamePresident on Jun 30, 2014 11:39:25 GMT -5
I've lent out a few baby things like our bucket seat and the exersaucer, but I have kept the rest even through a move. We knew we wanted more kids so I saw no need to purge then rebuy. Unfortunately, most of the baby clothes I have will be the wrong season even if I'm having a girl, but the carseat and other stuff is all gender neutral.
I do share maternity clothes with 2 friends and I think once I'm done with them no one will be pregnant again for a while so I will try to separate them back out by owner and return them do each of us can decide what we want to do. One friend is done having kids, I'm done unless my husband has a change of heart and the other wants more.
Post by humpforfree on Jun 30, 2014 12:09:13 GMT -5
What? No. We plan on having 2+ more kids so I doubt anyone will want our beat up stuff by then. If I can I will try giving it away, but that is MY DECISION. No assumptions tyvm.
My BIL and SIL pretty much gave us all of their stuff, but they knew they were done and offered it to us.. I thought they might have another, so it hadn't even crossed my mind to expect hand me downs.
We gave away everything to my cousin who is 16 and pregnant.
We were planning to sell it all because we are done. We honestly gave her thousands worth of stuff. I am kind of bitter about it, but I know she needs it more than we need the money.
Post by leonard131 on Jun 30, 2014 13:06:51 GMT -5
I think it is a little weird to expect that you are going to give it them all your stuff but then it might not seem strange in some families.
That being said, I give away everything almost as soon as we are done with it. We aren't having anymore and I just want it out of my house. If it is sitting in the basement longer then a month I start to get twitchy. I just hate clutter.
Post by rootbeerfloat on Jun 30, 2014 13:11:31 GMT -5
I sold a few things that were in good condition (Ergo, Bumbo-like seat, infant car seat). Some things I traded into to BRU (car seats, PNP, stroller). But I gave away most of the clothes. I received a lot of hand-me-downs, so I was happy to pay it back/forward, even if it included items I purchased myself.
Post by kittycatlove on Jun 30, 2014 13:15:55 GMT -5
I'm giving all my big gear away for free. I have been holding on to it just in case, but now that we're for sure done I'm passing it along to a good home.
I'm actually glad I can give it away as I have no desire to try to sell it and it would just be accumulating dust in the garage.
Post by dancingirl21 on Jun 30, 2014 13:28:07 GMT -5
I haven't given away or borrowed one thing to anyone, specifically because we are not done having kids. I hate it when people presume they can just have your things.