Giving away baby gear/clothes

[ilikedonuts]

Did anyone just give it all away?

My brother and SIL are having their first child in September (a girl). They just moved here from another country. Everyone seems to think that I'm just going to be giving them all of my baby gear and clothes.

That never even crossed my mind to do. I'm not close with them. I'm not sure if we're done having kids. And that's thousands of dollars worth of stuff (especially the clothes).

I'm sure now once again everyone will be like "Ooooooh of course donuts is being difficult yet again" when I say no.

[Deleted]

I don't see how people can expect this when your baby is only 8 months and you aren't sure if you are done. My youngest SIL (getting married soon) has already asked me to save dd's stuff for her. But she has 2 older sisters with girls and boys and I didn't receive one single hand-me-down. SIL apparently doesn't want their hand me downs either, just ours...lol.

[ilikedonuts]

Jun 30, 2014 9:18:49 GMT -5 @missy1 said:

I don't see how people can expect this when your baby is only 8 months and you aren't sure if you are done. My youngest SIL (getting married soon) has already asked me to save dd's stuff for her. But she has 2 older sisters with girls and boys and I didn't receive one single hand-me-down. SIL apparently doesn't want their hand me downs either, just ours...lol.

You must have the nicer stuff!

[jessnpaul]

A friend of mine, when she found out she was having a boy, said to me something about getting all B's clothes. Um, no. First, some of that clothing has sentimental value to me... and second, we're not necessarily done having kids!

I would never assume anyone would every just give me something, especially for free! I've had people give us clothes, but it was because they were done having kids and told me they didn't want to sell it.

[ssmjlm]

It is never ok to assume anything. Especially with pricey baby stuff.

I think it all depends on the relationship otherwise. If I had a close friend/family member having a child and there were things I was willing to pass on, I would have.

[thebreakfastclub]

I am giving everything away, but I know I'm done. I also don't care to sell anything.

Most is going to a young moms' ministry that my BIL is involved in. I would prefer to give things to people in need.

[changedname]

I will probably try to sell my stuff and then give away the rest. To be honest I have been very lucky in that I have a very generous friend who has a daughter 5 months ahead of my DD. She has lent me clothes newborn through 1 year (her DD is big), boppy, my Brest friend, bumbo, change table, offered me a swing. She labeled all the clothes as her sister is ttc so I try to be careful with them. I have barely had to buy anything for my DD. She offered to lend me her freestyle pump too but my insurance paid for mine.

I honestly wouldn't be as generous as my friend...I guess I don't trust people with my stuff enough. I certainly don't think people should expect you to give then your stuff.

[Deleted]

I kept everything until we had #2. We think we're done now, so I'm doing a combination of selling, donating, and giving to anyone that looks like they could use it.

No way was I giving things away between kids. That's crazycakes.

[brady2012]

I did give everything away to close friends and coworkers after our second was born.  My friend was having a girl 3 weeks after I had my son so we swapped her boy clothes for my girl clothes.  Once I found out my 2 coworkers were having boys at the same time of year my son was born I gave them all the clothes b/c I knew the seasons would be right.  As I finished with items pack n play (we have 2), swing, bounce chair, snap n go. I gave them to a coworker.

We just wanted the stuff out of the house since we were done having kids.  I remember receiving a stroller and a pack n play from a coworker and thinking I can't believe she doesn't want money for these things.  But I get it now, once we knew were done we wanted to make room for other things.

That said, there absolutely should be no expectation that someone give you free stuff.  That is ridiculous. My coworker who got all the baby gear actually showed up with a case of wine for us.

[badtzmaru22]

I think it's crazy for anyone to expect to just be given everything anyway, nevermind that you might have more kids!

We have a couple of friends with girls born after DD, and once we found out this one is a boy, I have given some stuff to them when sizes and seasons have lined up, but I've also sold a lot of DD's clothes. I plan to sell the gear as well once we're done, unless there's someone really in need or something like that.

[hocus2]

If you're not done then keep everything (I don't do loans). If you're done and want to sell stuff then give it a try and see how it works out for you. You can give away anything that does not sell.

I gave a way tons of stuff(strollers, car seats, bags and bags of clothing and toys). I've given the bigger items to people I'm close with but a lot of the smaller stuff was just freecylced away.  I only gave away stuff because I though we were done with kids (we're 95% sure) and  the hassle of selling isn't something I wanted to get involved with. For the most part the strollers were the only thing of real value (~$100 - $150 there). I find that many things don't have much resell value unless you have really nice stuff You might have spent thousands but is unlikely you'd recoup all or even 50% that cost.

[andthentherewere10]

I'm selling all my stuff. I want some money back!

[jenn248]

People have be very generous with hand-me-downs, so I plan on giving just about everything away when we're done, either to friends or to a shelter. However, I won't be doing so until we're done having kids and it would really annoy me if I was "expected" to give all of my stuff to someone.

[soozy87]

We received most of our stuff as shower gifts. Most people in my group of friends and family are the same. It is not assumed that someone will just give you all of their stuff. And I guess, no one has the guts to say that they want all of your baby stuff when they don't know if you are done having kids or not. If I want you to have it I will offer.

[Deleted]

I kept EVERYTHING for after DS1. I will say, it is kind of a pain after a while, because we ended up with SO MUCH stuff to store for 3 years. But now that we just had DS2, it was so worth it. My SIL is having a baby in the fall. I am saving all clothes as he grows out of them, and if she has a boy, I will give them to her. I did give her all my maternity clothes, because God willing, I will never use those again.

[speckledfrog]

If you aren't sure if you're done don't give anything away. I plan on giving away most of our stuff when DS2 is done using it. I'll probably not give away most of our clothes. After two kids they are pretty worn.

[ilikedonuts]

Jun 30, 2014 9:46:50 GMT -5 soozy87 said:

If I want you to have it I will offer.

Exactly. If I want to give stuff to them, then I will ask them if they want it. But that's my choice to make.

[rex]

i am saving a lot of my best stuff for my bff who is ttc this year. most of my stuff were gifts anyway, so why not be generous?

but i am not just going to give stuff away to someone i am not close to so i am team you with that. i do try to sell a lot of baby stuff.

[rupertpenny]

Since we moved when B was 6 months old I wanted to get rid of everything. Turns out I couldn't even give it away. No one would take a lot of stuff.

I gave what I could to charity, but still ended up with a crib, car seat, pnp, stroller, and playmat that no one wanted

[imojoebunny]

I have friends who give me all their stuff ands it's awesome, but I don't expect it. I am conveniently located, which helps. I repay the huge favor and give others all my stuff, only after I am done with it, but not always to the same people. I gave a lot to one mom, then found out she was selling a lot of it on ebay, not even using it, which rubbed me the wrong way.

Now I give it to my cousin who has three under three for boy stuff, and to my oldest friend who has a girl. Both are more strapped for cash than other people I am friends with and seem to appreciate it.

I am not a borrower, or a lender. I just can't keep track, so if it comes to me, I make sure they don't want it back and I never expect anything back.

[bunnymendelbaum]

I am giving it all away, half of it was given to me anyway. (My friend will give my marked clothes back, so I can pass it to family who will just use it and pass it along too.)

I was given so much when I had DD1 and I think it is the right thing to do in my case.

Eta: clarity

[h]

I have been giving away almost everything as DS3 finishes with it. I have sold a few items, but I have given most of the best stuff to my brother and SIL or step-sister and BIL, and then just donated the rest. But 1) most of my stuff has been used by 3 kids, so none of it is really pristine, and I definitely got my money's worth; and 2) I am close to my sibs and happy to help them out. I suspect we will even give my brother and SIL our nursery furniture if she is pregnant as we are transitioning DS3 to a big kid room. I do plan to resell my Bob Revolution, though.

[laurenh]

Assuming is always a bad idea.

I lent my SIL our bouncer, RNP, and car seat base along with some clothes because they didn't have a shower but they definitely understood it was lending and gave everything back a couple months ago.

When I'm done having kids I'll be happy to give it away, but not until that point.

[Pilsy]

Jun 30, 2014 10:08:57 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

I gave a lot to one mom, then found out she was selling a lot of it on ebay, not even using it, which rubbed me the wrong way.

WTF?

Some people have such nerve.  

[mollybrown]

I'm only going to give away what I can't sell. Or that I can't sell for more than the tax write-off. This thread is making me feel better.

The only hand me downs I received for either kid were loans that were returned, so I don't feel any obligation to pass anything along. And the only people I know having babies are not first time moms, so they already have lots of stuff anyway. If they weren't prudent enough to buy the big stuff gender neutral, oh well. I don't know anyone who was pushing around a pink stroller or had a pink jumperoo, so I think they're set.

[madringal]

I have had a few people ask me if they can have all my baby stuff. Umm....no. I was shocked at how many people wanted my stuff after I had DD1. This is just my first kid people, I am not just handing out stuff. And when I am all done, trust me that it will all go to my little sister, not you greedy folks I barely know.

[Deleted]

I don't think anyone should assume they can borrow or be given things.

If you are ready to get rid of stuff and were planning on selling it, I would just tell them "we were going to sell it for X--I'll give you first choice if you want to buy it."

If I wasn't done using my stuff I wouldn't lend it out between kids either as I have different expectations than most people about the condition it is returned in.

We gave a ton of Ds's stuff to H's niece and she turned around and sold it (while she was pregnant) so my thoughts on this subject are definitely skewed too.

[Deleted]

I've loaned things out, like our extra car seat base and a Moby wrap, but the recipient knows I want them back for the next kid. Once we're done, I'll gladly give shot away. I haaaaaate garage sales and no way in hell am I putting myself through that.

[changedname]

[quote author="flygirl" source="/post/6722348/thread" timestamp="1404141803"We gave a ton of Ds's stuff to H's niece and she turned around and sold it (while she was pregnant) so my thoughts on this subject are definitely skewed too.[/quote]


Wtf? Unbelievable.

One of my friends who is done with kids gave me her Moby. I'm thinking of sending it back to her to sell or asking her if she is ok with me passing it along, i wouldn't dream of selling it myself. The only stuff i will sell is things i got as gifts or bought. Anything i was passes along, i will pay forward and pass along or donate.

[Deleted]

I have given away the overwhelming majority of my baby stuff because we know we are done. Most went to a friend that is pregnant with her 3rd after changing her mind about being done at 2 (so she had gotten rid of all her stuff). She is extremely generous to me and my family in many ways so I was happy to do it. Other stuff I have given to pregnant friends that I know can use it. I am happy to pay it forward since I received a lot of hand me downs, and in any case selling this stuff would probably be more trouble than it's worth anyway.

That said. I know I am done and NOBODY expected me to give them squat. In your situation I would be super peeved and would be keeping my stuff.