s/o Defining Moment: Best Breakup Story

[bluelikejazz]

All the "he's a keeper" stories make me want to hear the stories about the losers we dated.


The guy I dated freshman year of college broke up with me because I wouldn't have sex with him and the girl across the hall from me would. He now has a kid with her that he never sees and is married to someone else.

[Deleted]

My HS boyfriend broke up with me over AOL instant messenger. At the time I was so. traumatized.

But now I just think it's hilarious.

[juris11]

My HS boyfriend broke up with me because I was looking out the car window and Christmas lights instead of talking to him. He was overall an emotionally abusive asshole.

[Brie]

My sister dumped a guy because he shaved his head to benefit a children's cancer charity after raising thousands of dollars and she no longer found him attractive without hair.

[thatgirl2478]

I met a guy online. He was nice enough. Then I found out that he had done pot, cocaine, and various other drugs including shrooms & LSD. I asked him how long ago this was - most was in high school/college - but cocaine was more recently and he had done it more than once, the last time being right before he met me. I then asked him if he would do it again - and he said he would but that I 'didn't need to worry about that because he didn't know any dealers here' (he was relatively new to the area - Chicago burbs). I broke up with him right then and there. Past drug use that you grew out of, fine, chalk it up to youthful indiscretion. Continued drug use, not fine at least with me.

[Awkward]

My first college boyfriend dumped me because his friends didn't like me (I wasn't from "their area") and because I responded negatively to surprise buttsex.

[yellowbrkrd]

I wouldn't have sex with him so he just started ignoring me and ended up dating and having sex with one of my friends.

I was a mega bitch and broke up with a boyfriend at a homecoming dance....I still feel bad about it.

[Mrs.Beagle]

A boyfriend broke up with me because he bought a vintage mustang and thought he could get someone hotter.

His next girlfriend? Not so much.

[victoria0993]

May 15, 2012 10:56:57 GMT -5 juris11 said:

My HS boyfriend broke up with me because I was looking out the car window and Christmas lights instead of talking to him. He was overall an emotionally abusive asshole.

Really? This made me laugh!

ETA: this made me laugh because of breaking up with you for looking at christmas lights instead of him, not because he was an emotionally abusive asshole.

[bluelikejazz]

In HS a guy broke up with me after like 4 months of dating. I didn't really care and wasn't upset at all. His sister, however, cried for like a week.

[vanillacourage]

May 15, 2012 11:00:47 GMT -5 Awkward said:

My first college boyfriend dumped me because his friends didn't like me (I wasn't from "their area") and because I responded negatively to surprise buttsex.

OMG at this in tandem with your avatar.

[Dusky]

My high school boyfriend broke up with me because I had totaled my car and had no way of driving his sorry butt around any more. I cried so hard over that one.

[caramia17]

A guy I was dating gave me the key to his apt. It was snowing, cabs were scarce and I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I would pop by. Not a good call. I caught him in flagrante delicto with some random. He did not understand why a) I did not stay and b) we could not still go out. It is likely he is still single. I have kissed a lot of frogs.

[ejpint]

My most hurtful break-up was my first college boyfriend. We were inseparable for a year. He was probably the first boy I really, truly loved. He broke up with me because his friends told him he was getting in too deep and he should be having fun his sophomore year of college. He then almost immediately started dating a girl who wore knee-length jorts and had wonky teeth. Those same friends started giving him crap for dumping a "hot" girl to date this new girl, who they dubbed "Snaggletooth". Nice guys.

My better break-up story was a high school boyfriend. I actually said I thought we were spending too much time making out in his parents' basement, and that we should focus more on our friendship. He interpreted that as "let's just be friends". He told all his buddies that I'd cheated on him with some college guy, and told anyone who would listen that I was a "ho". In typical teenage girl fashion, my friends and I responded in force. We poured corn syrup and flour on his car. We sporked his front yard. After the syrup/flour incident, he had a very sensitive car alarm installed. Every time we walked past it in the school parking lot, we would kick the tires hard enough to set it off, and keep walking. He'd come rushing out of the school in a panic, trying to see who was messing with his baby.

[pinkdutchtulips]

i got dumped not once but twice for being a 'poor' girl whose parents lacked the means to afford a wedding and a house dp. the next girl both guys dated had parents that were LOADED ... and more than willing to open their wallets WIDE for whatever their daughter wanted.

[Deleted]

I had been dating a guy for nearly a year, although the depth of our conversations was still like we had been dating for a short time. Anyway, we were talking on the phone one night and I said I really wanted some ice cream--he said that sounded good but it was super late. So the next night, I stopped by his house (it was on my way home from work) and he wasn't home from work yet so I left it on his porch (it was the middle of winter). About 10 minutes later he called me and told me that was really PYSCHO of me and he thought we should not see each other anymore since I was staulking him. I was just kind of stunned--but then found out later that he had been cheating on me and she came home with him that night. Its funny now of coarse, because I look at some of the other things that happened & he was/is a pretty unstable person.

[aliciar6]

I've dumped guys for being horrible kissers and dumped one on a date when he refused to hold my tigger backpack (at the time i never carried a purse)

[juris11]

May 15, 2012 11:02:39 GMT -5 victoria0993 said:

May 15, 2012 10:56:57 GMT -5 juris11 said:

My HS boyfriend broke up with me because I was looking out the car window and Christmas lights instead of talking to him. He was overall an emotionally abusive asshole.

Really? This made me laugh!

ETA: this made me laugh because of breaking up with you for looking at christmas lights instead of him, not because he was an emotionally abusive asshole.

Ha no I get what you are saying. It was really strange. I was just minding my own business, looking at the pretty lights and then after we got out the car he was like "You aren't even interested in me anymore! You care more about Christmas lights than me!" Like yelled it. It was indeed a WTF moment.

[ESF]

I once had a guy break up with me because I was "too attached." Nevermind that three days prior to that, he gave me his work number in case I ever needed to reach him during the day (this was before the days of cell phones). A month later, I saw him at a bar, and he was all over me. I led him on the entire night, and then told him I couldn't go home with him because I didn't want to get too attached again. That was satisfying.

[melmo1122]

My 6th grade boyfriend (if you can even call it that) broke up with my because I got a perm.

[definitelyO]

My boyfriend of over a year cheated on me with another girl. he took her out on a date in MY car!!! and ran into a friend of mine while on this date. said friend did not tell me, but another friend did - thankfully. I called that girl and told her that she was more than welcome to him, but that he didn't have a car - that car he picked her up in was mine and that he was fired from his job and she could support him from now on. LOSER!!!!

[hellzkitten]

I had a bf in college who cried at everything. I gave him every excuse to break up with him. I even told him I was gay (which was not true) & he sobbed, saying "We can work through it."

[theintended]

My boyfriend of three years started sleeping with my close friend (since childhood) and college neighbor. She was the girlfriend of his close friend and college neighbor. Cluster fuck.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 12:09:56 GMT -5 @esquirefish said:

Here's my winner -- I had been seeing a guy on and off for years. We started in college, broke up at the end of college, and then 3-ish years later randomly ran into each other and started seeing each other again. About a year and a half after that chance meeting, it was the day before my 27th birthday and we were getting along really well. He took me out for dinner for my birthday a day early, then we went back to my apartment for some "fun time", and then he waited until midnight exactly... you know, the second it turned my official birthday.

He started off a conversation by telling me he was getting ready to settle down, and was thinking about marriage, and how he thought I would make such a great wife.... I am thinking WOW! I am getting proposed to tonight! And then...

He proceeds to dump me, because I was Jewish, and although I would make a great wife for him, I was so smart, etc. he just couldn't deal with my religion. Please note that (1) he full well knew the entire time I was Jewish, and even celebrated certain holidays with me, and (2) one of his long-term college girlfriends was also Jewish and he never had an issue with it then either.

I found out years later through mutual friends that he had already started to date someone else by then and wasn't big enough to tell me the real reason.

He dumped you after waiting until it was your birthday? What an asshole.

[LauraMoser]

When my HS BF and I brooke up, I sent psycho. I found out he was cheating on me. His excuse? this girls aunt was dying of cancer and she just needed someone to talk to. Okay, so you run to her, talk to her for hours after we hung up each night, make a two hour drive to see her, and you do this all while lying to me about it. I only found out he was cheating because I called his house and his mom said he went to the mall. I went, planning to meet up with him, only to find his car parked along the road outside the mall with a flat tire. Five minutes later, he came back to his car with said girl.

He was completely an asshole. We'd have fights where he would blame all of our problems on me and he even hit me a few times. The breakup was ugly, I went psycho for a while. A few months later, I met DH. My mom told me from the start that DH was the one, and she was right.

[WOT?*]

The love-of-my-life, Prince Charming, we'll-be-together-forever true-love (a.k.a. first high school boyfriend freshman and sophomore year- lol) never broke up with me, the ratbastard. We'd been going out for about a year and a half and I called him to see when he would be picking me up for our date that night. He didn't answer his phone. After a few more attempts, his roommate (boyfriend had graduated) picked up and told me he was outside washing his truck. I called back a bit later, to be told he was taking a shower and must be getting ready for our date. When I finally got hold of him, he told me he wasn't feeling well and couldn't make our date. I came to school Monday to a host of people asking if we'd broken out because "he was out with some blonde chick who works at Wherehouse (records)." The last time we'd spoken was when he told me he was not coming over. Didn't have the balls to speak with me again after that. I wonder if this was Spitfire's hopeful and Wherehouse Girl was his ex. The height is about right.

The guy I started dating my senior year moved to Los Angeles about three weeks before prom (apparently, since he too neglected to call. My gf who was dating his friend told me. I believe he'd gotten into a fight with mom and moved in with dad or something along those lines. I appear to have had a tendency to go out with guys who break up with me by not calling and not showing up.)

[shortstax]

My HS boyfriend graduated 1 year before me. By mid-september my senior year he'd already dropped out of college and moved back home. He started working in his dad's factory. He broke up with me right before homecoming (the bastard) because he was an "adult" and not a higher-schooler anymore.

What was the real reason? He was having an affair with a 40 year old lady who worked on the assembly line with him.

Dodged a bullet there!

[So_Fetch]

My Jr. high boyfriend and I broke up because he totally cheated on a board game.

I once stopped dating a guy who didn't carry my pumpkin or my box of apples at the pumpkin patch. It showed a huge character flaw to me.

I had another boyfriend who would just stop calling - and then would randomly pop back up months later. He was gorgeous, so I went with it. The last time he did popped back up, I was dating DH. He said he had planned to come over, which I said was probably a bad idea. I had been friends with DH and they had met before - so ex boyfriend decided he'd rather just invite us over for a BBQ together. He was a strange duck.

[shortstax]

May 15, 2012 12:57:11 GMT -5 WOT?* said:

The love-of-my-life, Prince Charming, we'll-be-together-forever true-love (a.k.a. first high school boyfriend freshman and sophomore year- lol) never broke up with me, the ratbastard. We'd been going out for about a year and a half and I called him to see when he would be picking me up for our date that night. He didn't answer his phone. After a few more attempts, his roommate (boyfriend had graduated) picked up and told me he was outside washing his truck. I called back a bit later, to be told he was taking a shower and must be getting ready for our date. When I finally got hold of him, he told me he wasn't feeling well and couldn't make our date. I came to school Monday to a host of people asking if we'd broken out because "he was out with some blonde chick who works at Wherehouse (records)." The last time we'd spoken was when he told me he was not coming over. Didn't have the balls to speak with me again after that.

So technically you're still dating, right?

[schrodinger]

My HS boyfriend and I dated for 3 years. Midway through our senior year I knew we were through, but I couldn't break it off because we had so many plans as a couple (prom, senior activities....). A week after graduation we were on AIM late at night and he knew I was upset and wanted to come over and chat about it.

When his car pulled up he got out of the passenger side and came up to the house to talk to me. He was so upset HIS MOTHER DROVE HIM over to my house. I proceeded to dump him on my front porch with his mother in the car 20 feet away. Yeah, awkward.