Hi..super long, dramatic intro.

[textbookcase]

I'm glad this board is here. I'm not an addict but I come from a family of addicts. My parents are alcoholics (high-functioning) and my brother is a drug addict and alcoholic. I live in a rural area and there are not very many good resources for family members of addicts, NA, AA, etc. so I don't really have any support-type groups available to me. I've kind of accepted the fact that my parents are never going to NOT be alcoholics, and I've adjusted my life and expectations accordingly. They're good grandparents, and we spend a lot of time with them but I won't let them have my kids alone ever, they can't drive them anywhere, etc. and we're usually not around them after 6 pm. That's just life with them.

My brother is in a terrible downward spiral right now. He's been an on-and-off meth addict since he was a teenager. He dropped out of school when he was 16 and had a child when he was 17. He hasn't had much to do with his son for most of his son's life. My parents and I all have a great relationship with my nephew, but my brother is pretty absent. My brother was drug-free for approximately 2-3 years and we all thought he was done with it for good. He was still an alcoholic but it seemed like he was done with meth. Then about a year ago he and his long-term GF broke up and he spiraled downward again. He tried, several times, to commit suicide. He almost succeeded. Like, seconds away from dying before someone found him. He totaled his ex-GF's new guy's car with a baseball bat, causing 10k in damage (which is a felony). He's back on drugs, worse than I've ever seen him. Lost his job. Jail is an every other week thing for him at this point. I'm getting sick and tired of receiving collect calls from jail. It's exhausting.

Anyway, just thought this would be a good board to vent on. Thanks for reading.

[btay]

I am glad you have set some good limits with your parents and so sorry to hear your brother is struggling.

[partiallysunny]

I'm sorry you're brother is struggling right now it's certainly an emotionally exhausting situation.

Remember this isn't really your brother. It's an addict.

I feel you with your parents. My relationship with my own parents is similar.

[malibu]

I am so sorry your brother is struggling so hard. It's so frustrating to watch someone go down deeper into depression and drug/alcohol use and know there's nothing you can say or do until they want the help themselves.

I agree with btay, sounds like you've set some really good limits with your parents, which is excellent. I'm glad you and your kids can still have a relationship with them despite their alcoholism.

[lime]

I'm sorry your brother is struggling and that it's affected you and your family so much.

IIRC, you've been a very great presence in your nephew's life.

[textbookcase]

Thanks, guys. He was evicted from his apt a week ago and my parents have been paying for him to stay at a cheap hotel (well, with his money that they control). The money runs out tomorrow and they told him that they won't pay for anything beyond that. He texted my stepdad that he's ready to go into treatment. So, that would be good. I'm not holding my breath, but I am crossing my fingers that this is IT.

[malibu]

Oh, I hope this is the rock bottom he needs, I really do. Fingers crossed that he accepts treatment wholeheartedly and works the program to get back on his feet.

[spedrunner]

hi textbook!

just wanted to say HUGS!!  I know how difficult it is to have an addict in your life. You want so badly for them to be ok, and you can not control it

There is NOTHING you can do to make him love himself and take care of himself. You can only hope that he will figure things out and find something in himself to fight and seek recovery.  

My XH was a heroin addict. He attempted suicide several times and made me believe he would do it if i ever left. I finally left. I could no longer be an enabler.  

He is still using but still alive.  It is his life, his choice, I can not control it

hang in there !!

thank you for sharing

[lime]

I really hope he means; that he'll go to treatment this time.

((textbook))

[btay]

I hope he is serious about treatment

[cinnamoncox]

How is he? Is he doing well? I hope he is getting better in the program TBC. That's super hard to watch someone you love spiral like that. My father is an addict (alcohol) and bro is "recovering" drinker (I use quoted bc he doesn't drink he just switched to pills which is easier to hide).
It kills me to see my mom celebrating his recovery and doing all this wonderful stuff for him and being so proud he quit, when in reality he just changed what he is addicted to.
I wish your bro well. It's extremely difficult.

[pinkdutchtulips]

my stbxh was off meth for nearly 13 years, relapsed a year ago, completed a 90 day treatment program then 6 weeks later relapsed bc our relationship had imploded to the point of no return.

meth is a horrible horrible addiction to have to deal with (from a family member perspective) feel free to PM me ....

[textbookcase]

He is in treatment now and has been for a little over a week, I think? He is in the portion of treatment where he can't contact anyone, but his sponsor in treatment and his counselor a have been updating my parents and it seems like everything is going great so far. He is cooperating and going through with all they are asking him to do. It's definitely a step in the right direction. He's never made it longer than a day or two in a program before.

[Deleted]

Jul 27, 2014 1:22:55 GMT -5 textbookcase said:

He is in treatment now and has been for a little over a week, I think? He is in the portion of treatment where he can't contact anyone, but his sponsor in treatment and his counselor a have been updating my parents and it seems like everything is going great so far. He is cooperating and going through with all they are asking him to do. It's definitely a step in the right direction. He's never made it longer than a day or two in a program before.

This is encouraging news. 

[cinnamoncox]

What a positive update TBC. I truly hope this time is the right time for him.
Good luck and t&p's for you and your family.