How did the 4th go for everyone?

[malibu]

Or the 1st if you're in Canada?

I spent the weekend at my IL's cabin. No H. He was sad for missing the 4th; it's kind of 'his' holiday. While we all missed him, I was secretly relieved to not have to be babysitting him or following him around so he wouldn't drink, which is how I've spent most of my Independence Days over the last eight years. Since I'm not a big drinker, I also noticed just how much my ILs drink - a lot. We talked about what we feel we can all do when H is released from treatment; my FIL mentioned locking up the liquor cabinets, we talked about the possibility of making any weekend he'll be up at the cabin an alcohol-free weekend as well. My H is definitely the type who would be tempted if it's around him, and we agreed it can be done if that's what he thinks he needs from all of us. I did point out (thanks to flex) that not everyone in recovery needs everyone around them to abstain from drinking in front of them, and we agreed that we'll have to get his thoughts when we talk with him.

[flex]

Jul 7, 2014 12:39:10 GMT -5 malibu said:

Or the 1st if you're in Canada?

I spent the weekend at my IL's cabin. No H. He was sad for missing the 4th; it's kind of 'his' holiday. While we all missed him, I was secretly relieved to not have to be babysitting him or following him around so he wouldn't drink, which is how I've spent most of my Independence Days over the last eight years. Since I'm not a big drinker, I also noticed just how much my ILs drink - a lot. We talked about what we feel we can all do when H is released from treatment; my FIL mentioned locking up the liquor cabinets, we talked about the possibility of making any weekend he'll be up at the cabin an alcohol-free weekend as well. My H is definitely the type who would be tempted if it's around him, and we agreed it can be done if that's what he thinks he needs from all of us. I did point out (thanks to flex) that not everyone in recovery needs everyone around them to abstain from drinking in front of them, and we agreed that we'll have to get his thoughts when we talk with him.

I'm glad you had a good time!

After your H gets out I hope he finds a sponsor, goes to meetings, and begins the Steps.  


((hugs)) to you malibu.

[malibu]

His therapist at the treatment center is already lining up outpatient day treatment for him, so that's good.

[btay]

My 4th was OK, it was my first 4th as a single, and not everyone in the family knew so I had to keep deflecting the "where is DH" questions. I felt really lonely for the first time in a long time which I know is good because it means I am unhermiting (I decided that is a word now) but it still is a sucky feeling.

[btay]

Jul 7, 2014 12:59:22 GMT -5 malibu said:

His therapist at the treatment center is already lining up outpatient day treatment for him, so that's good.

 they are really good about making sure people have a great aftercare program lined up when they leave.  My stbxh still attends a weekly meeting they set him up with that is lead by an addiction counselor.