Oh mom, just ... no.

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[Deleted]

no.

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Even when I was actively participating in bdsm my mother never asked/commented. Thankfully.

She did eyeball the steel lock on my "necklace" though.

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I knew she knew and she knew I knew that she knew (lol) but I was not going to talk about my in depth sex life with my mom, so I gave some noncommittal answer that I just liked it.

[Amy]

omg no - haha

[MixedBerryJam]

Jul 7, 2014 16:12:00 GMT -5 mp said:

I posted a photo on IG that showed some bruises I have on my leg. Right now I am super bruised up - mostly because I'm a clumsy asshole, and secondly because my dogs use my legs as a trampoline.

Mom texts me: How did you get bruised? Hiking?
Me: Mostly the dogs. And I'm clumsy.
Mom: Ok. Wanted to make sure you weren't into s&m lately. lol.
Me: Even if I was, those bruises wouldn't be visible. Don't worry.
Mom: Oh. I hadn't considered that!

She's joking, mostly, and even if I was into S&M she'd probably be like "Well, mp, that sounds interesting. Make sure to use your safeword!"

Sigh. Moms are ridiculous sometimes.

This conversation blows my mind.My mom and I have never even talked about my period, never mind sex. As far as she knows, this post-menopausal mother of two (me) is still a virgin.  For real, your mom (esp the lol at the end) blows my mind.