I really don't give a shit that these kids were there. It's not as if the movie theater is known for frequent shooting rampages.
But this area of town is. The mall across the street has had several shootings. This is right near where I grew up.
I also immediately thought of the mall shootings. I didn't want to get into an "aurora is ghetto" discussion, but warning me away from there because of the shootings was pretty much all the advice I got from numerous people before I moved to Denver. This level of violence isn't common, but certainly random shootings have happened enough to give it a reputation.
That said, I don't actually believe it's ghetto. I have a lot of friends who live there, and their neighborhoods are perfectly fine.
Nor most fathers. I know that DH would take a bullet for me and the kids. It's part of what attracts me to him. But no way would I marry someone who proved himself a pussy.
I really don't think anyone can say this until they've been in the situation.
There's a reason the military trains so much. The fear response is normal and leads to irrational action. It's through training that they learn to conquer it and respond in the right way.
We can all say what we think we'd do, and what we'd want to do, but I just don't think we can anticipate the freakout of being in that situation. It's not like most people spend time worrying about and planning their reaction in a mass shooting.
Yes, but there is a difference between understanding and marrying.
Yeah, I might be able to chalk up the running away to irrational behavior to fear, but that dude said in no uncertain terms that the baby was crying and he was thinking that meant they were going to come get him.
Sounds like he was thinking just fine about what he had to do to save himself.
Post by copzgirl1171 on Jul 20, 2012 18:02:16 GMT -5
COAC, he fucking left??? I have adult kids and I can say without hesitation that I would have not left them behind, let alone a defenseless child. Someone said it better that I above....I couldn't be with a pussy and this guy is Grade A, so yea I judge and I am also the jury.
Not that that has anything to do with preventing the shooting or keeping society safe, but when I saw Batman Begins some jackwagon brought their (roughly) 2 year old, who had multiple bathroom breaks and was terrified by Scarecrow.
Jesus people.
Not to mention that it was a MIDNIGHT show. Who the hell keeps little kids like that out till 2 am, just so they can see a movie? But I'm always amazed at how kids don't seem to have regular bedtimes anymore, and get dragged out shopping with their parents at 10 pm....
If I was this woman I'd be re-thinking my engagement to this guy.
I don't really care what other people do, but bed time is fucking written in stone at our house. there is no chance in hell that I'd keep my kid up that late for a movie (especially not one like that). he'd be a disaster the next day. my son is 3 and he got to stay up late (10pm) for the very first time on the 4th of July this year when I took him to see fireworks. it was really fun and he thought they were awesome, but he was a whiny, tired mess the next day. it sucked, especially since it was my fault .
and yes, I'm also shocked at this guy abandoning the baby. but fortunately, I've never been in a situation like that, so I have no idea how I'd react either.
But this area of town is. The mall across the street has had several shootings. This is right near where I grew up.
I also immediately thought of the mall shootings. I didn't want to get into an "aurora is ghetto" discussion, but warning me away from there because of the shootings was pretty much all the advice I got from numerous people before I moved to Denver. This level of violence isn't common, but certainly random shootings have happened enough to give it a reputation.
That said, I don't actually believe it's ghetto. I have a lot of friends who live there, and their neighborhoods are perfectly fine.
I lived in Aurora a thousand years ago, when I was a kid, for about four years and it was fine. It was chock full of new construction mixed with strips of land occupied by nothing but prairie dogs.
One day in college, I turn on CNN and they're talking about gang violence in Aurora. It was very much a WTF moment. I don't even recognize what's been on the news today.
" [I'm thinking] 'He's crying and they're going to come get me.' I look up to see if I can run. I'm ducking, dodging, turning left, turning right. ... Every time you hear a gun shot, it's like 'Oh, I'm dead.'"
No. Fuck no. You put your baby down because you're afraid his crying is going to get YOU shot? You're a fucking cocksucker. I'm not going to apologize your judging this piece of shit dad.
THIS!
If I can't judge a man who leaves behind his girlfriend and two small children to be shot, then DRIVES AWAY, then shiiiiiiiiiit!
When you see your partner in a highly stressful situation, you see their true colors. She's seen his and I sure hope she pays attention.
Post by earlgreyhot on Jul 20, 2012 18:54:01 GMT -5
I've joked that my DH would totally be George Costanza in a fire or other emergency, pushing women and kids out of the way. His flight response is strong...he was the first person out of his building when the earthquake hit. He was on the 8th floor. I'm pretty sure he would not have driven away, though.
As for babies in movies...during my mat leave I totally took DS to movies but always the first or second movies of the day. Several times I was the only person in the theater. I loved it.
I can say with utter certainty that I would do anything to get my babies out safely, no matter what happened to my own person. And as mild-mannered and sweet as my husband is, he would shield all of us with his body to make sure we all got out, because he is not a fucking piece of wimpy shit. I couldn't see him chucking Freddie to the ground to save his own ass. That repulses me. I hope that chick beats her EX fiance with a Louisville Slugger.
Post by basilosaurus on Jul 20, 2012 19:13:53 GMT -5
I guess I'm just going to have to disagree with the majority. I'm not a parent, so who knows if my mind would change, but I'd like to think I'd save anyone if I could. I just hold no illusions that my thoughts would turn into action in real life.
I know of some of the things H has been trained to resist, and I would think they would be no-brainers, too. Things like not participating in beating your coworkers if you're captured. But if the military is investing resources in training them to resist, then I'm going to assume not everyone has the appropriate reaction in a stressful situation, and that it's not a judgment on your character. (I'm assuming, but don't know, this training is based on some sort of data from real world situations).
It may not be the normal response to run in fear for your life, but I think it's a natural one.
That said, if I was the fiancee, I'd totally be dumping his ass. I'm just bristling at people calling him weak or a pansy b/c their own partners wouldn't do that. You just don't know.
a pansy b/c their own partners wouldn't do that. You just don't know.
Please to shit tell me someone didn't use this term? +o( :@
Anyway, I say I would never leave my child, and I dont think I would, but I have never been in a situation like this so I cant say for sure. No one can. You're fooling yourself if you think it without hesitation.
Forget weak or pansy, several people got it right above and this guy is a P-U-S-S-Y. People have every right to flee in such a frightening situation, but only a pussy intentionally dumps his own infant child on the way out and continues driving. A baby that young would definitely cry. But guess what? I am pretty confident that cry would have been easily drowned out by the much louder screaming coming from the massive crowd of adults getting shot in the theater. I hope that woman dumps his ass ASAP.
HE DROVE AWAY!! It's not just about panicking and getting out of danger - he ran out, left his family, got outside, got in his car, drove away an didn't even come back to get them until she called!!
a pansy b/c their own partners wouldn't do that. You just don't know.
Please to shit tell me someone didn't use this term?
Anyway, I say I would never leave my child, and I dont think I would, but I have never been in a situation like this so I cant say for sure. No one can. You're fooling yourself if you think it without hesitation.
Actually I used the other P word in all it's glory and I am kind of ashamed of myself...just for using that particular word, not for thinking he is less than parently
HE DROVE AWAY!! It's not just about panicking and getting out of danger - he ran out, left his family, got outside, got in his car, drove away an didn't even come back to get them until she called!!
HE DROVE AWAY!! It's not just about panicking and getting out of danger - he ran out, left his family, got outside, got in his car, drove away an didn't even come back to get them until she called!!
This. 1000 times this. I can ALMOST play the "you don't know what you would do" thing and see him panicking but driving the fuck away with your family in that not knowing if they are alive or dead? He is a miserable self serving POS
I'm not going to put any blame on him - I wasn't there, don't know what it was like, blah, blah, blah.
However, if I was his fiancee I'd probably be incredibly pissed and end the relationship. If my husband left me to be shot with our kids, I would feel like he had failed at the most important part of our marriage and his parenthood.
Pretty much this. I judge. And he drove away? If it were me, once I realized my babies were OK, the next time I saw him I'd literally kick him in the balls as hard as I could while screaming "FUCKING COWARD," then I'd go home and set a bon-fire in my front yard and burn every last damn thing he owned. They'd probably have to lock me up I'd be so nuts.
Post by GailGoldie on Jul 20, 2012 19:36:39 GMT -5
ok- not only did the guy leave the baby and fiance + other child.... not only did he run out and drive away... but he freaking told people in an interview- so the whole world can hear his story.... he obviously doesn't even think it sounds bad ---- the man is all the P words stated above.
I can judge parents and be horrified by the shooting all at the same time. It's actually pretty easy. Children don't belong at midnight showings regardless of season. And they don't belong at scary movies. FFS, don't we all remember being scared by some really mundane scene? It was the opening scene of ET that did me in. Someone on this board just mentioned a kid have nightmares from Brave.
I don't judge the guy for running away, though, b/c fear makes people do strange things.
Coming in late so who knows what awaits me after this post, but this is where I am. I have been with kids in all kinds of f-d up movies where they don't belong. And NO, a 4 yo will not be sleeping through a movie. They will be watching a movie. And we will have to deal with their issues later on. And, frankly, if they were not brought to that inappropriate movie by their parents... well... you know where I'm going with that...
My complete and utter judgement of these parents is a separate issues to the sickness I feel over the whole event. We've hashed it out in a couple of threads and will continue to do so as information becomes available... but this specific thread is, indeed, about the decision a parent made. So, I judge him for having his kids there in the 1st place. I think he's a schmuck for driving off, but as far as putting the kid down and bolting? Who knows what the fear and adrenaline did to his brain.