14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizer

[freshhell]

I'm bored. It's Friday (yay!), so I am killing time until I can leave early. I am also very much enjoying this article and wanted to share:


My 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers





Intro to article:

What if I told you that mozzarella sticks never had to end? That for $10, you could eat for free (for $10) for the rest of your natural life? That there exists a spot in the space-time continuum in which it is always Friday? That there are free refills on all Slushes™ excluding Red Bull® branded items?

Last Monday TGI Friday's unveiled a new promotion (available at many TGI Friday's locations, but none on the island of Manhattan) whereby customers can gorge themselves on unlimited appetizers—without fear of punishment, embarrassment, or ostracization—for a one-time payment of $10. The promotion is called "Endless Appetizers."

The day after "Endless Appetizers" was announced, I went to TGI Friday's in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Sheepshead Bay. I wanted to challenge the hubris of a company co-opting the infinite for a marketing gimmick. I wanted to demand accountability from copywriters.

I wanted to call their bluff and eat appetizers until they kicked me out, to seek the limit of this supposedly limitless publicity stunt.

I soon learned the limit does not exist.

Prelude: The King's Gambit

In preparation for the depravity to come, I fast the night before, eating a only light meal of a bacon cheeseburger, four chicken McNuggets, and a small fries at midnight.

Ten hours later, my editor, Max Read, messages me to outline the conditions this exercise must meet:

I will not take advantage of the TGI Friday's wifi, read a book, or go to sleep.
I will stay at least six hours past the restaurant's 11 a.m. opening time.
I will consume mozzarella sticks with the voraciousness of bacteria feasting on the muscle tissue of a corpse. (This is not so much a condition as a given.)
He then proposes a bonus:

If you can stay till 1 a.m. I'll give you a week off.

rest of article here: gawker.com/my-14-hour-search-for-the-end-of-tgi-fridays-endless-ap-1606122925

[freshhell]

No - you are not. Even when she mentions seeing a woman in the bathroom, I was still convinced it was a man.

[zoomzoom]

Most boring article ever.

[freshhell]

I must have a low bar for entertainment.

[zoomzoom]

Meh, I just skimmed.

[Muddled]

1:40 p.m. Even if I ate 1000 sticks, TGI Friday's Endless Apps would be a bad deal, because they taste worse than eating nothing at all. TGI Friday's should pay me $10 to clear out as many of these mozzarella sticks for them as I can. TGI Friday's End This App(s).


Bwahahaha!

[midnightmare81]

Jul 18, 2014 8:51:20 GMT -5 TR said:

Am I the only one who paid no attention to a by-line and was then surprised when she mentioned her purse because they were sure only a man would do this?

I didn't either. I was all "why is he in the women's room" and then I thought maybe they were running into each other just outside the bathrooms. At no point did it occur to me that the writer was in fact a female until the picture with the ketchup.

[Deleted]

omg.

[karinothing]

ha I thought it was funny. Also thought this was a man until she discussed the bun and cardigan lol.

[kadams767]

Jul 18, 2014 9:13:42 GMT -5 karinothing said:

ha I thought it was funny. Also thought this was a man until she discussed the bun and cardigan lol.

Yep.  Somehow the women's restroom did not even remotely tip me off.  The messy bun made me read back through, though. 

[cbwm1]

This made me LOL for real.


1:30 p.m. I goddamn hate these fucking mozzarella sticks. The more of them I eat, the more I feel like I can taste every ingredient. Ingredients include: cardboard left in a hamster cage in the sun; acid.

[Deleted]

Lightweight. I totally could eat more than 7 plates of mozz sticks in over 12 hours.

[Deleted]

Especially if you could hit up the bar! Cue drunk munchies like halfway through and you would be SET.

amirite

[Deleted]

Why is this link not working for me?

[Bree Van de Kamp]

Jul 18, 2014 9:33:10 GMT -5 @kjewell said:

Why is this link not working for me?

Wasn't working for me either so I searched for it on Google and found this link gawker.com/my-14-hour-search-for-the-end-of-tgi-fridays-endless-ap-1606122925. Works for me

[cinnamoncox]

Yesterday ds (15) was all where's the closest TGIFriday's?!?!?

And I was what what's going on, he was speaking with such urgency. He said oh you can pay only $10 and eat all the app you can!!!
I was like okaaay buddy, sounds healthy.

And I have no clue where it is near me, but he is really interested in this idea, and since he's a 15 year old boy he has very little desire to spend time with his mom (waaaa), so I think I will suffer through it if I can find a close one.
Anyone near Boston know of one? Yeah I can google.

[MWOS]

This was the point where it turned into a normal 11 minute stretch for my brain (not sure what this says about me):

7:10 p.m. A woman at a table of four in the corner of the room says "I have to stop buying yogurts!" Why?

7:11 p.m. What if I just quit Gawker and work at TGI Friday's now? What if I already have? What is the nature of the Endless Apps bargain? Did I listen closely enough to Gabby? Did I sign a contract?

7:13 p.m. A man having dinner at the table next to me is eating mozzarella sticks. He looks like he loves 'em! He is wearing wire rim glasses, jean shorts, and a #25 Yankees jersey.

7:15 p.m. What if I've been a ghost the whole time?

7:21 p.m. What if I've been a dream the whole time? What if I haven't even gotten to TGI Friday's yet because I'm still asleep the night before, and now I've wasted my whole REM cycle in this boring dream?

[Deleted]

I really want mozarella sticks now.

[sporky]

That's hilarious. I also did a double take on the running into a female chef in the restroom part, figuring this had to be a man. Good on her.

[Deleted]

For those that thought it was a man, did you not see her picture and name at the top of the article?

You are the people who didn't read directions at the beginning of tests, huh.

[ginger]

I liked it!

[janiejones]

I had arby's mozza sticks for lunch. The first two were good, the second two I only ate because I figured two mozza sticks makes for a shitty portion of leftovers.