Big, Fat O

[quinny]

I have been testing with OPK's for a month (June 29th to be exact) to see if I am ovulating (no period yet). Hoping that I would be and we could start TTC next month, after a complete cycle to see days, etc. My lines were darkening and I had all the hope and excitement in the world building inside me. I called the bank and talked about shipping, and I took the stupid smiley face tests (many) only to show day after day O. Argh. Now my lines are lightening no O for me.

Sigh. I was (am) praying for a hail mary. O + unmedicated insem = BFP = nursing N through pregnancy. I don't know how I am going to wean him. He doesn't sleep unless I nurse him down and nurse him periodically while sleeping (if not I only get 20-45 min sleep's from him) not to mention, I love nursing and it kills me to stop.

K is a teacher and has the summers off and so if we could plan it (HA! HA! HAHAHA!) I would give birth next summer so there are 2 full time parents caring for 2 babies. I am worried about N getting a little lost in the shuffle when a newborn is home and having her home for 3 months would be ideal.

But seriously, it took us 15 months to conceive N. What part of that makes me think I can plan something like this? I don't know

I just wanted to try. Maybe next month. Not even ovulating and TTC is getting me down. Ahh, I had almost forgot how much fun it was.

[hensmum]

Ugh, bummer. So sorry Jean.

[twotrue]

I'm sorry.

[quinny]

Rereading and giving myself major eye roll. Sorry for the lame drama.