Spoiled baby

[oukapu]

At what age do you just let them whine? Emily is ten months old. We went out to dinner last night and she threw a fit until we let her feed herself. Then when I set the chicken on her plate to cut up, she whined when I touched it. This week I took her to the grocery store and she wanted to hold the food, then she wanted to be held. Other babies were just chilling in the buggy. Her cousin is around the same age and seems more chill than Emily.

Other babies do this, right?

[oukapu]

I guess not.

[jenny1223]

DS is only 6 months but he definitely has moments he gets fussy when he wants to be down on the floor playing and I'm holding him for example. It sounds like she's just trying to act more independent. I wouldn't call what you described as spoiled.

[anna7602]

Jul 22, 2012 12:20:09 GMT -5 oukapu said:

I guess not.

Hey. I am going to go out on a limb here and guess you're not getting answers because your LO is a little young to be taught that there's a polite way and a not polite way (ie, crying/fussing/etc.) to ask for what she wants. Not because everyone else's kid is perfectly behaved all the time.

I don't think it's that strange that she threw a fit because she wanted to feed herself. It's good that she's feeling that level of independence and wants to explore the world on her own terms. It's a work-in-progress (even with older kids) to balance your child's need/want for independence against the fact that they legitimately need your help/guidance.

DD absolutely would not let us cut any of her food for the longest time. Anyone who sat near us at a restaurant probably thought we were toddler-torturers because we would not cut a piece of chicken or meat or anything into bite-sized pieces for her. But we couldn't or she would literally lose it. So, we let her figure it out. Eventually, she either asked us to cut something for her or she would just try to shove a whole piece of something in her mouth and break off pieces with her teeth. She did not starve, I can assure you. And I was just happy to avoid a total meltdown at mealtimes.

[rubytuesday]

Yes. Other babies do that. I guess I try to pick my battles. If the baby whines because I am cutting up the food into a safe size tough nuggies. If the baby wants to hold groceries and it's not something they can damage I let them hold it. I do try to plan our outings so that everyone is happy, not hungry, & not tired. That cuts down on the whining quite a bit. You will also learn what triggers the fussiness and avoid it, like just pick apart pieces of chicken for her plate instead of trying to cut it there. Let her feed herself from the get go.

One of my boys has decided that he's really picky about which cup he gets and which seat he gets in the cart at the grocery store. I generally let him pick, but once he does he doesn't get to change his mind. I find myself saying things like, "NBD, boys, No Big Deal! Shake it off!" and sometimes the actually shake around which is super cute! Other times they are not so cute and I want to cry too...

Like anything else you just have to be consistant. And, yes, some babies are more chill than others.

[oukapu]

I just worry my kid is going to grow up into a spoiled brat. She's really sweet most of the time, but she is getting more of a personality.

[vanillacourage]

Sounds like she is independent and wanting to be more a part of the world around her - not that she's spoiled. 10 months is too early for that. I don't think that you should dread her growing into her personality, KWIM?

[Deleted]

Some babies are easier than others just by personality. I was at a wedding last night and the other 14 month old was _so chill_. He hung around his parents. He crawled and toddled a bit.

Mine was running laps around the hall and climbing the stairs up to the head table. He does not sit still - he's really high energy. And it's much easier to embrace this than to try to tie him down.

Your kid should be feeding herself and exploring the world. That's not spoiled behaviour. That's growing up behaviour. You just have to figure out how to satisfy her need for stimulation and new experiences in a way that is socially acceptable.

[drloretta]

Ditto rubytuesday.

And you really think your 10 month old is being a spoiled brat because she's showing some independence and doesn't behave perfectly all the time???

[Deleted]

I have no issue letting a 10mo old getting their way with stuff like that. My kid's were not chill babies/toddlers at all but they are sweet & well behaved children.

[Mrs.Syntax]

Ditto the others - I don't think she is spoiled, she is just beginning to show independence. I expect there to be some whining for a few years until kids learn to communicate better. 10 months is obviously too young for this, but my DD is at an age where I remind her to use words to explain what she wants and that's helping tremendously.

But I get what you're saying... it seems that a lot of my friends have babies/kids who are a lot more chill than my DD. A few others are high-energy and very opinionated. It's a personality thing, not something the parents are doing wrong or right.

[curbsideprophet]

We always let DD feed herself. If anything needs cutting we do it before we put it in front of her. We often try to wait until the food arrives before putting her in her highchair/seat. If she is content but not eating we just let her sit in the chair. If she starts to fuss we will take her out of the chair.

DD is usually ok in a shopping cart, but if she gets fussy we will take her out.

I do not really consider it spoiling her to take her out of a cart/highchair at this age if she is unhappy being there.

[lala]

Jul 22, 2012 14:06:21 GMT -5 curbsideprophet said:

We always let DD feed herself. If anything needs cutting we do it before we put it in front of her. We often try to wait until the food arrives before putting her in her highchair/seat. If she is content but not eating we just let her sit in the chair. If she starts to fuss we will take her out of the chair.

DD is usually ok in a shopping cart, but if she gets fussy we will take her out.

I do not really consider it spoiling her to take her out of a cart/highchair at this age if she is unhappy being there.

This. They are too young to get it or to be able to calm down and "wait" while we finish shopping or whatever. Until at least 18 months, and beyond depending on the situation, we do whatever we can to minimize screeching and crying. I figure she is too young to be happy sitting in the cart for to long anyway. I try to distract her w/ water in a zippy, a toy, etc. but often I just sling her and carry her. They often just want to cuddle.

We do BLW, so we've never fed her, but she still has fits if we don't get her food fast enough.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2012 13:03:53 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Sounds like she is independent and wanting to be more a part of the world around her - not that she's spoiled. 10 months is too early for that. I don't think that you should dread her growing into her personality, KWIM?

I agree with this.

[mrshandy]

This is why I rarely take my kid even at 2 to a restaurant or grocery shopping. I just don't feel like dealing with the whining.

10 months is too young to teach manners. When DS is whining when he needs to chill, I tell him to chill out, sometimes he does sometimes he doesn't. If he's throwing a full out tantrum then we do a time out which usually calms him down.

[oukapu]

I'm glad I am not setting her up and that it is normal for the age. :-)

[bunch]

Read Love and Logic Magic. I just read the first half and am ready to start implementing Some basics right away. I definitely hold dd if that's what she wants in the grocery store and let her feed herself, but it's time to let her know that chucking her sippy across a restaurant is not acceptable.

[liveintheville]

Gah! I honestly don't remember at 10 months. But my general rule is do what it takes to keep them quiet in public places like a restaurant or leave if necessary. At home if they throw a fit or whine I ignore them completely and then time them out if necessary.

[Deleted]

Just wait until she's 2. I honestly don't believe it's possible for a 10 month old to be " spoiled." We didn't take DD to restaurants from 7 months until at least 15 months. It wasn't fun for anyone.

[tardyfortheparty]

Jul 22, 2012 21:01:14 GMT -5 BirdGirl said:

Just wait until she's 2. I honestly don't believe it's possible for a 10 month old to be " spoiled." We didn't take DD to restaurants from 7 months until at least 15 months. It wasn't fun for anyone.

This. 10 month olds can't be spoiled babies...just wait until you have a toddler.

[Willis Jackson]

Completely normal.

Definitely cut her food before she putting it in front of her. If you reached over to my plate I'd be like "Bitch, get your hands off my chicken!" too.