BF deploying.....

[violet]

My BF is deploying soon. I've never dated anyone in the military before him. What can I expect? I know this is a vague question, but any info would be greatly appreciated.

[violet]

I guess I'm mostly wondering how long will it be before he has an address I can mail things to. How often can I expect to talk to him? How do people typically communicate - email, skype, letters, etc? Does the time go by quickly?

[nsl]

Most of these answers are going to vary widely depending on where exactly he's stationed. My H had regular internet access in his room so we could e-mail and Skype daily when he was in Iraq two years ago, but he was also at a large FOB. Mail took two weeks to reach him, so I only sent out monthly care packages, no letters. I seem to recall getting his mailing address the first week he was there.

The time did not go by quickly, I'm sorry to say. We got through it, but it was a very long year for all of us.

[beachy]

Your questions about communication can vary greatly between branches, ranks, rates/MOS, etc. For example, my H is deployed on a ship and they only have skype while in ports. So our communication is mainly email except in port. His rate and rank allows him to pretty much have access to a computer and email at almost all times, so we email very frequently. Other rates and ranks on the ship go days or sometimes weeks before getting a chance to email. My advice is to have low expectations when he leaves and go from there. Also, understand that many times if you aren't hearing from him it's because communications are down and/or he's busy, not that he's just not talking to you.

He should probably get you an address soon after getting there.

It's hard to say how time will go by. I can guarantee it will go by quicker though if you don't focus on the deployment and how much you miss him, and just carry on with your life. If you sit there and cry everyday over how much you miss him then you will be miserable and it will crawl by.

[basilosaurus]

It will both go quickly and slowly at the same time. There are days that drag, but then a week will fly by. For most people, the busier you are the faster it will go. I really like my alone private time, so if I stay too busy I feel unbalanced, and that actually can make the time worse for me.

There's no way to predict what kind of communication you'll have. It's totally dependent on location, branch, rank, job. When H was in Iraq, he could basically call me whenever he had a free moment. Skype didn't work for him, but I might get a quick email whenhe was at work. And then I'd go a couple weeks without hearing from him because he had to go somewhere else (how's that for vague

Contrast that to experiences he had with being sent on exercises to countries with vast communication and no wars, and he was only able to get a 10 minute call out once a week, just because the living/working conditions were so different.

Addresses might actually be available before he leaves. If not, he should get one soon. Mail only took about a week for H, but I did always pay for priority. After living in Japan and experiencing 3 month delays on some packages, I didn't mess around with standard mail.