How weird! I hate the things people post on Facebook. People have made it into some forum where they need to tell everyone about their views on everything. I just want to see pictures of your family, lol.
I feel like a lot of "gentle parenting" stuff is a bit irresponsible, because it makes parents so wound up and afraid to get angry that the eventual explosion is probably a lot worse than it may have been if they felt they didn't have to bottle it up. Kind of like when people post articles how letting your baby cry causes brain damage-- how many moms and dads could have avoided being medicated because they felt setting their inconsolable baby down to take a 5 minute breather is tantamount to child abuse?
Also we have friends that use "gentle parenting" and their kid is an impatient and bratty little shit head. Once P gets older I dunno that we will hang out with them, lol
Let me tell you something: I have 3 friends who are the definitions of these parents. Kids are "equal", everything is attachment/gentle parenting, don't break their spirits, etc. I used to worry that they were right and I was wrong. I am a little bit like that, but my kids still know who the boss is and there are consequences for misbehaving or disrespect.
Anyway, now that all of our kids are getting a bit older (4, 5, 6, 7 years old), it's crazy how out of control their kids can be. They are BRATS in public because they are used to getting away with murder. They not only disrespect their parents, but other adults in the vicinity. This has just become evident in the last year or so.
I no longer worry that I'm doing it wrong. My kids aren't angels by any means, but the damn well know how to behave in public and with other authority figures.
I was just thinking the other day that I needed to avoid Facebook because it seems like it's all stuff about the one thing you should never do or say to your kid. But I already did that thing or said that thing so then I feel screwed.
Post by sunshineluv on Jul 21, 2014 11:30:27 GMT -5
I feel like each of our parenting moments can be picked apart and we are either sending our kids into a spiral of entitlement and brattiness, or we are stiffling their emotions forever. When did it become so complicated?
I yelled at my 4yr old this morning because she was driving me fucking insane! Crying about not wanting to go to swim classes since she woke up at 5:30am. She won't stop. Then following me around the house asking when we were leaving. How long will it take to get there. Will I tell her teachers that she doesn't want a snack. OVER AND OVER AND OVER
I worry that I'm doing this without even realizing it. (Gentle parenting, not being an ass about it on FB.) My father was abusive and my mom super distant. I worry I'm swinging too far in the other direction. I get nervous any time I raise my voice to him like if I start yelling, what if I never stop? I probably need (even more) therapy.
Discipline, the childrens need it. I actually compliment/thank parents I come across that discipline their children because I've seen the results of parents who don't. So, thank you to all those parents who say "no" to their kids once in a while.
Post by themoneytree on Jul 21, 2014 14:18:56 GMT -5
Agreed. It's getting out of hand. I love some of the ideas but JFC. The 'please parents, pick up your child' one is currently on my shit list. OF COURSE I want to pick up my child as much as I can, but hauling around 31 lbs of whining, wiggly 2 year old ALL DAY is too fucking much. Sometimes she needs to be put down when she wants to be picked up. She'll survive.
Agreed. It's getting out of hand. I love some of the ideas but JFC. The 'please parents, pick up your child' one is currently on my shit list. OF COURSE I want to pick up my child as much as I can, but hauling around 31 lbs of whining, wiggly 2 year old ALL DAY is too fucking much. Sometimes she needs to be put down when she wants to be picked up. She'll survive.
I love babywearing but my kid only tolerates it sometimes. When I mentioned this in a babywearing FB group discussion about why people use strollers or use both carriers and strollers, I got people telling me to basically force him to be worn and suggesting that he has RAD. I was like uh pretty sure babies have personalities and preferences all their own. I feel like this is something lots of folks with snuggly calm babies just don't get.
Lol the stroller thing cracks me up. Did anyone see the movie "Away We Go"?
*spoiler*
The BEST part of that movie is heir stay with his sister played by Maggie Gyllenhall who is a hardcore AP. He didn't know so he brings her a stroller and she makes him leave it on the porch because " why would I push my child AWAY from me?!" Latter she pisses him off so he encourages her son to climb into the stroller and wheels him around the house while she chases him screaming. I laughed SO hard during that whole part of he movie.
Yes ftr, I don't care if you never yell. If it works for you, more power to you. But I don't need your cheesy articles of shame all over my FB feed. lol
I can't believe I haven't seen anything like this yet on my FB but I'm sure I will. And I'll laugh. And laugh and laugh.
If a person says they never yell at their kids, they must be smoking week on the regular. Or lying.
I am full of love for this post. Anger is a normal, human response and kids don't need to be shielded from it. I mean, as long as it's not your ONLY response ever, or completely unpredictable (NO WIRE HANGERS!), I think kids get it that you're yelling at them because they have been assholes.