Step 3

[btay]

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him

     Insanity has been defined as doing something the same way over and over again and expecting different results.  In the past I tried to control people, places, and things, believing that my way was the correct way.  I knew my track record--my way, based on insisting upon my will, did not work.  Yet I kept trying.  It was an insane way to live.

Step Three, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him" was a turning point for me in relinquishing control.  It meant choosing between an insane life and a sane one--my will or God's will.  Since my will had let me down time and time again, the real question was how long would I continue running around in the same circles before I was willing to admit defeat and turn to a source of genuine help.

Today's Reminder : I may find it easy to point to the alcoholics irrational or self-destructive choices.  It is harder to admit that my own behavior has not always been sane. Today I can let go of insisting upon my will.  With this simple decision I make a commitment to sanity.

-From Courage to Change

[malibu]

Ugh. I guess we'll see how committed I am to this step tonight (or better yet, tomorrow, when he's home and I'm at work). I'm probably not here yet, to be honest. The same anxieties, the same feelings, the same wanting to control feelings are cropping up and he's not even home yet.

[pinkdutchtulips]

it took me a LONG time to get to that place where I was comfortable w/ turning my will and my live over to my higher power. i was so used to having to be in control or at least attempting to be in control of my addict that i was the walking definition of insanity.

through the help of al-anon and my discipleship mentor - i learned to hand things over to my HP simply bc i was incapable of handling them on my own. it was a relief to do that ! I'm sure it sounds flippant but putting my will and life into HP's hands has made a saner life for me. i no longer worry about what's going to happen to X - when i left i had to make peace w/ 1 of these 2 scenarios. 1- he gets help and becomes a function parent to dd and we co-parent together or 2- he ends up 6ft under. i don't worry and stress over it anymore bc i put that one into my HP's hands.

[flex]

I like the "...as we understood Him" part of this step.  I wanted to turn my will and my lives over to "something" because I was doing a terrible job of it on my own.  MY BEST THINKING got me to the point of desperation, so clearly I needed as much Help as I could get!  lol  

The great part about this step is that we come up with our own version of a higher power.  Us alkies/addicts do NOT like to be told what to do and how to think.  : )

[btay]

I said just the other day I wanted to hand over all decision making to someone else because I suck at it