For the record, I certainly don't think you're crazy for considering KG cutoff dates. It has crossed my mind many times.
I've worked with a lot of parents having to agonize over the decision of whether or not their child is ready for school. It can be a really hard decision, as finances certainly come into play, but many times kids do (even) better if held back another year. If given the choice, I'd rather have that decision already made for me. I'm already thinking about what I'll do with DS2...he'll make the date by 3 weeks. I'm probably projecting, though, because my parents sent my brother when he only made the date by 2 weeks, and they still second-guess their decision. Academically, he always did just fine, but socially, they felt he would have been better with another year of life under his belt before heading to school.
eddy, I'm sorry you're sensitive to that. I can certainly understand, and I apologize if what I said made you feel anything other than positive about the timing of your births. I had DS2 a little early, but he came on his own. I think babies usually come when they need to, even when they're early. (Obviously, this is not always the case, unfortunately.)
Post by karmasabiotch on Jul 24, 2014 8:24:38 GMT -5
Even if he's brilliant sometimes the maturity isn't there. It's also goof to be on the older side of the kids in his class because he might do better at sports, be the first to get his license (You have more control of him not getting in the car with friends driving), and achievement scores might put him ahead of the curve which could help with college.
I'm pro waiting as long as possible because the longer they bake the healthier they might be. I would do it at the end of the week.
My OBs office did all scheduled C-sections on a specific day of the week so you may not even have an option.
True. I talked to the doc yesterday and he made it sound like anytime that week was fair game, it depended what worked with my schedule and if I had a favorite doctor (large practice) they probably would be on a specific day. I don't really care about the doctor. But it is an option that 9/15 might already be totally booked too.
I don't think you're being crazy thinking about the cutoff date either. And a Sept 15th cutoff date is on the early side, there's a good chance he'd be able to make it.
I think I'd schedule for the 15th. After 39 weeks, a couple of extra days in the womb isn't going to make a much of a difference.
This is taking the redshirting conversation to a level I never imagined possible, lol.
I don't meant to "shame" you tigress into not having a early section. Honestly, I just mean to say that all other things being equal, I would wait closer to the due date because there is no reason not to. Obviously when someone has health concerns (like eddy) then the benefit to go early makes that decision worth it. Its always a calculated cost/benefit decision based on health outcomes, and if there is no reason to go early, then why do it? That's my line of reasoning anyway.
Both of my kids are far enough AFTER the cutoff that, while they'll be older, it would take moving the sun and earth to get them in "early" to kindergarten. And I'm relieved that this choice was "made" for me. There are advantages for each, and ultimately I think it's so kid-dependent that I wouldn't make that THE deciding factor.
ETA: and if you DO go early, it's "early" like a WEEK early. People should stop making it out to be like you're creating a micropremie.
This is taking the redshirting conversation to a level I never imagined possible, lol.
I don't meant to "shame" you tigress into not having a early section. Honestly, I just mean to say that all other things being equal, I would wait closer to the due date because there is no reason not to. Obviously when someone has health concerns (like eddy) then the benefit to go early makes that decision worth it. Its always a calculated cost/benefit decision based on health outcomes, and if there is no reason to go early, then why do it? That's my line of reasoning anyway.
I guess I figure if the doctor was offering that date as a date to schedule without any caveat saying "you really should wait later though", then they aren't thinking there is an issue between scheduling on Monday vs. Thursday.
My OBs office did all scheduled C-sections on a specific day of the week so you may not even have an option.
True. I talked to the doc yesterday and he made it sound like anytime that week was fair game, it depended what worked with my schedule and if I had a favorite doctor (large practice) they probably would be on a specific day. I don't really care about the doctor. But it is an option that 9/15 might already be totally booked too.
I'm having a scheduled c-section due to my baby being breech, and my doctor said I could schedule anytime between 39-41 weeks. He made it sound like the date would be my choice. When the scheduler called she said, "I have your surgery scheduled for..." When I asked about a specific date (a Friday, for ease of schedules) she said he wasn't available. So, this might be a non-issue for you like it was for me.
True. I talked to the doc yesterday and he made it sound like anytime that week was fair game, it depended what worked with my schedule and if I had a favorite doctor (large practice) they probably would be on a specific day. I don't really care about the doctor. But it is an option that 9/15 might already be totally booked too.
I'm having a scheduled c-section due to my baby being breech, and my doctor said I could schedule anytime between 39-41 weeks. He made it sound like the date would be my choice. When the scheduler called she said, "I have your surgery scheduled for..." When I asked about a specific date (a Friday, for ease of schedules) she said he wasn't available. So, this might be a non-issue for you like it was for me.
I figured they would give me a date. And that is fine with me.
My question was is it worth it to worry about it. Obviously its a very resounding "no" with a little "how dare you consider such a thing?" thrown in for good measure. Got it.
I'm having a scheduled c-section due to my baby being breech, and my doctor said I could schedule anytime between 39-41 weeks. He made it sound like the date would be my choice. When the scheduler called she said, "I have your surgery scheduled for..." When I asked about a specific date (a Friday, for ease of schedules) she said he wasn't available. So, this might be a non-issue for you like it was for me.
I figured they would give me a date. And that is fine with me. Â
My question was is it worth it to worry about it. Obviously its a very resounding "no" with a little "how dare you consider such a thing?" thrown in for good measure. Got it.
FWIW, I would be thinking about all the same things you are, and would be considering the same outcomes. I would likely choose 9/15 given the chance just in case. As you said, it's only 1-3 days earlier, not 1-3 weeks.
Post by badtzmaru22 on Jul 24, 2014 8:46:22 GMT -5
Go with 9/15. Or pick whatever day you like based on even or odd numbers or a specific date of the week. Screw anyone who cares. It's 39w, even the March of Dimes says that's full term.
Or move to NY. Our cutoff is December.
Signed, 40w cranky pregnant lady with no filter. Cheers.
The picking the date thing is really weird. For Leo we were just trying to get me to 36 weeks so scheduled the section for that day.
It was a Friday and I really liked it that way. I got a whole week of work in. Our family was easily able to visit in the hospital etc.
I also remember going to the March of Dimes website to make myself feel better about having to have a late-term premie...and it did not lol. My poor shrunken brained baby.
But your little guy will be nice and cooked. I bet his brain won't be shrunken at all. :-)
Sure, go for 9/15 if it's available. I will say though, ds was one of the youngest in his K class and although he is a smartypants and did well academically, I don't think he was socially ready. 5 is really young for school I think.
My Mom had 2 scheduled C-sections and did both on Friday mornings. She said it was nice since she had Friday with just my Dad and then visitors throughout the weekend and discharged on Sunday afternoon. Kept her distracted and someone was available to hold the baby and/or keep an eye on the other kids.
I don't think you're crazy at all, but I'm kind of defensive because my baby was born at 39w1d and I also started K before I turned five I'd do what's right for your family.
I thought I'd chime in, I'm a kindergarten teacher and I'm a September baby. If I were in the position with my boys, I would start them late. Like someone said above, even if he is ready intellectually, with boys, a lot of the time the maturity isn't there and it ends up affecting their academics. I can't really think of a time where I've thought a male student should/could be in 1st instead of K. I have thought that once or twice about a girl though, but that's pretty rare as well. I tend to think kiddos do better when they are more is the 6 yr old range BUT that's just my opinion and I've had plenty of young students who do just fine!! As for me, my mom held me back and I always liked it. I felt like it gave me a better handle on things when I was a senior and beginning college. I started college at 19 instead of 18. I'm sure that's a looooong way off in your thinking, but just my 2 cents.
I would do it the 15th because it's the earliest possible date to not be pregnant anymore. lol
LOL.
Also, since my ABSOLUTELY PERFECT son was born at 38 weeks I'm getting all ruffled at the notion that scheduling a c-section at 39w0d is some sort of terrible crime against humanity.
You're not crazy at all for taking this into consideration. Hell, I'm also having a scheduled c-section and wondering if I should choose 2014 or 2015.
I understand that the comments about letting the baby stay in there for longer development are well intentioned, but please don't make her feel bad about delivering early.
I have to deliver early because I have an increased risk with having a vaginal birth - one that could potentially impact my entire adult life. Please don't make me feel like I'm doing my baby a disservice and not allowing his lungs to develop and setting him up for a life of health problems by having to deliver early. Some of the comments in here sting.
My doctor and her doctor will do what's best for her and the baby.
I would do it the 15th because it's the earliest possible date to not be pregnant anymore. lol
LOL.
Also, since my ABSOLUTELY PERFECT son was born at 38 weeks I'm getting all ruffled at the notion that scheduling a c-section at 39w0d is some sort of terrible crime against humanity.
I was kind of surprised at the response. Its not like I'm due in October and trying to push it 3 weeks early against doctor's orders just to be under the kindergarten cut off...
You're not crazy at all for taking this into consideration. Hell, I'm also having a scheduled c-section and wondering if I should choose 2014 or 2015.
I understand that the comments about letting the baby stay in there for longer development are well intentioned, but please don't make her feel bad about delivering early.
I have to deliver early because I have an increased risk with having a vaginal birth - one that could potentially impact my entire adult life. Please don't make me feel like I'm doing my baby a disservice and not allowing his lungs to develop and setting him up for a life of health problems by having to deliver early. Some of the comments in here sting.
My doctor and her doctor will do what's best for her and the baby.
I'm choosing the c-section because I like to have at least some control of my bowels. There is a very real chance if I deliver again vaginally that I won't be that lucky. I feel no shame in that, although I am terrified of the c-section too.
My DD missed the cutoff by two days and it was the best thing ever for her. She gained so much confidence in that extra year and was much less shy and more confident when she started K. So I'd go later if possible.
Also, since my ABSOLUTELY PERFECT son was born at 38 weeks I'm getting all ruffled at the notion that scheduling a c-section at 39w0d is some sort of terrible crime against humanity.
I was kind of surprised at the response. Its not like I'm due in October and trying to push it 3 weeks early against doctor's orders just to be under the kindergarten cut off...
This was a perfect example of how IRL responses are not the same as responses on here.
The vibe around here is you keep that baby in utero until he is 4 years old. lol
IRL, if you asked your educated aware friends they would probably be like "Psssh get that baby out ASAP."
I was kind of surprised at the response. Its not like I'm due in October and trying to push it 3 weeks early against doctor's orders just to be under the kindergarten cut off...
This was a perfect example of how IRL responses are not the same as responses on here.
The vibe around here is you keep that baby in utero until he is 4 years old. lol
IRL, if you asked your educated aware friends they would probably be like "Psssh get that baby out ASAP."
I think the March of Dimes is doing almost TOO good of a job with their 39-weeks campaign. I know they were starting to see a trend of *elective* c-sections at 37 weeks, and their research shows a noticeable difference between development (particularly lung) at those 2 time points. But I don't think even they meant this to in any way be applied to women who have medical reasons for induction/c-section. It's been pushed so hard that I think women are starting to think even medically-necessary induction/c-section at-or-before 39 weeks is somehow the worst thing in the world and negligent or bad parenting or something. I admit it even got to me when my Dr prepared me that there's a good chance I'll need an early induction and that we'd do our best to get to 37 weeks -- my mind just snapped automatically to "BUT 39 WEEKS!!!#asd@!!$". It took a hot minute, but eventually I returned to the real world, where avoiding all of the very real complications of pre-eclampsia is a million times more important than anything else, especially with all of the ways modern medicine can help a little one that's not quite ready to be on his own but has to come out.
This was a perfect example of how IRL responses are not the same as responses on here.
The vibe around here is you keep that baby in utero until he is 4 years old. lol
IRL, if you asked your educated aware friends they would probably be like "Psssh get that baby out ASAP."
I think the March of Dimes is doing almost TOO good of a job with their 39-weeks campaign. I know they were starting to see a trend of *elective* c-sections at 37 weeks, and their research shows a noticeable difference between development (particularly lung) at those 2 time points. But I don't think even they meant this to in any way be applied to women who have medical reasons for induction/c-section. It's been pushed so hard that I think women are starting to think even medically-necessary induction/c-section at-or-before 39 weeks is somehow the worst thing in the world and negligent or bad parenting or something. I admit it even got to me when my Dr prepared me that there's a good chance I'll need an early induction and that we'd do our best to get to 37 weeks -- my mind just snapped automatically to "BUT 39 WEEKS!!!#asd@!!$". It took a hot minute, but eventually I returned to the real world, where avoiding all of the very real complications of pre-eclampsia is a million times more important than anything else, especially with all of the ways modern medicine can help a little one that's not quite ready to be on his own but has to come out.
I completely agree
I felt I had to justify to everyone why I had to have a c section at 36 weeks.
And yeah, I get why they have the campaign. If I would have known at the time I wouldn't have reached out to them as a resource to reassure me that my baby was going to be okay. I remember being told I had to have a c section at 34-36 weeks. Next I was having my weekly stress test and decided to look up March of Dimes convinced they would give me stats on why he was going to be okay.
LOL, nope instead they told me about how my baby had an underdeveloped brain!!!, lungs, immunity etc. Again, I get what they were doing but that was not the resource to make me feel okay about our situation lol.
eddy, OMG, thanks for nothing March of Dimes!! Holy crap. I'm sorry you had that added stress at an already tough time!
...and I'm glad I know to stay the hell away from their website. lol
Ha, it ended up all being okay.
In the end he was as healthy as a full term baby. Nursed like a boss right away. And he only acts like he has a slighly shrunken brain when he tries to eat crayons.