I didn't pick her up but we did it about the same time she learned to pull herself to standing but couldn't get back down so I would lay her back down. Other than that, I just patted her head/stroked her cheek, said a few words, then went back out again.
If you are going to do checks, I would stick with just one of you going in. Otherwise, he may figure out which parent will do what while they're in there. If you and your h are on the same exact page on how you're doing it, it may work to switch off? We did me at bedtime, then h was the only one who would go in there before midnight if he was going crazy in there. If I had fed at the last waking, h went in the next time. Like @this said, it is and should be temporary, not months of crying.
I'll have to see what we should do when he wakes up in the MOTN.
If we decide to not nurse when he wakes up, should we follow the same thing as Ferber for bedtime? I'll go with my gut if I think he needs to eat or not, but he used to go all night without eating before.
We did not feed before midnight. If she woke after midnight I nursed her back down. If she woke before midnight we would do Ferber checks just like at bedtime. We only needed to do that three nights - I hope things go smoothly for you!
For the MOTN wakings we set a rule that if he woke before 1 am H would take care of him and do Ferber intervals. If he woke after 1 am I would nurse him but put him down drowsy but awake.
I just wanted to get him to one night waking instead of 2-4 at that point. Eventually he dropped the night feeding and STTN around 10-11 months.
We did not pick him up, that kind of defeats the purpose IMO. We would go in and replace his pacifier and shush him while patting his back for a minute or two.
I was not ready for DD to nightwean when we sleep trained at 6 months. Our issue was getting her to go to sleep/stay asleep when put down, which is why we did Ferber. It still worked very well for us. I handled night wake ups by nursing DD then I'd just put her back in the crib and re-Ferber in the motn. There was significantly less crying MOTN and it was very freeing to just go back to bed rather than the dread of "ok, she nursed but she's still awake, now what?" in the motn. She slept much better after we Ferbered, right from the start, so we didn't have many issues with her waking too early.
As she got older, I started waiting progressively longer to go to her in the MOTN (5 minutes, then later 10 minutes). She eventually started STTN at 14 months. We had a lot of weight issues with her so I wasn't willing to push it before that. When she did start STTN about half the time and was down to 1 wake up a night on the other nights, I just stopped going to her. She's STTN since then.
Post by countthestars on Jul 25, 2014 22:34:21 GMT -5
Agreed with @this x1000000. Have you read the Ferber book? I am not being snarky at all. The book is just really helpful in giving you a plan and explaining how and why this all works. Have a MOTN plan now - don't fudge it as you go.
We decided not to pick up because we knew it would make it harder for dd. Your kid may be different.
For the MOTN wakings we set a rule that if he woke before 1 am H would take care of him and do Ferber intervals. If he woke after 1 am I would nurse him but put him down drowsy but awake.
I just wanted to get him to one night waking instead of 2-4 at that point. Eventually he dropped the night feeding and STTN around 10-11 months.
We did not pick him up, that kind of defeats the purpose IMO. We would go in and replace his pacifier and shush him while patting his back for a minute or two.
When your baby woke up before 1 am, did your H just go in and soothe him without picking him up too?
Yes. Shush, pat, replace paci. Didn't pick him up.
Hugs. I was so nervous to try CIO but it was really positive for us. We did a modified version since I wasn't sure I could handle crying at bedtime and during MOTN, so I would go in and feed her when she woke if it was after midnight. Within a few days she dropped down to one wake - up, Just to eat
Post by Velar Fricative on Jul 26, 2014 6:03:51 GMT -5
Dd you read the Ferber book? I highly recommend that you do because the "rules" are spelled out in there and you will get a clearer idea of what to expect and how to plan strategies for the MOTN. I know what's done is done for tonight but it is best to Ferberize after you've read the relevant chapters since it's really not *just* CIO.
You don't have to read the whole book either! Just the chapters related to babies.
Essentially, no picking the baby up and come up with time intervals for MOTN feeding and extend little by little each night.
I did extinction CIO but I'll be honest, I had to do it on a weekend when H wasn't around for bedtime. The first. If beg J was screaming and H went in there and picked him up even though we had discussed that we can't do that. It took two nights of crying then he was just rolling around the third night and fell asleep in 10 min with no crying. Now he goes in his crib and just falls asleep. MOTN is a different story, he still wakes 2-3 times and I feed him each time :/. But he has always fallen right back to sleep after eating so that's never been a problem.
I'm glad it worked for you last night! Before you know it he should be falling asleep with no crying!
If you do nurse try and make it quick. Once he starts to comfort suck immediately put him down in his crib. Also progressively shorten each session. That is what worked best for us.
If he's sick then I would do things differently (and did with DD), but for now just focus on when he's healthy and normal times. I would highly recommend reading the book, preferably before starting. Its a quick read and really is only one chapter or so that you have to read to know what to do correctly.
If he's sick then I would do things differently (and did with DD), but for now just focus on when he's healthy and normal times. I would highly recommend reading the book, preferably before starting. Its a quick read and really is only one chapter or so that you have to read to know what to do correctly.
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Sorry to thread jack, but what do you do differently if they are sick?
I'll have to see what we should do when he wakes up in the MOTN.
If we decide to not nurse when he wakes up, should we follow the same thing as Ferber for bedtime? I'll go with my gut if I think he needs to eat or not, but he used to go all night without eating before.
Ferber actually has a chapter about night weaning, and night wake ups. I never used it, but it seemed like it would be good.
If he's sick then I would do things differently (and did with DD), but for now just focus on when he's healthy and normal times. I would highly recommend reading the book, preferably before starting. Its a quick read and really is only one chapter or so that you have to read to know what to do correctly.
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Sorry to thread jack, but what do you do differently if they are sick?
I hope things go well, but don't be shocked if night 3 is worse than night 1 for some crazy reason. Most kids will get with the program quickly, but some put up a last fight after a couple nights of improvement.
Different kids are also just... different. DD is moving toward STTN and has taken really well toward sleep training in general. DS did not respond well and STILL wakes in the night and wants help going back to sleep. He is the exception to sleep rules.