Is this rude? AKA I want to kill my husband.

[cville]

Yesterday morning, my husband told his friend "hey come on over this weekend, bring wife and kid, and go for a swim!"  They're like "sure!"  Husband says "great, tell us when you were thinking."  RADIO SILENCE since then.  It's noon on Saturday and they haven't emailed/called/texted/sent a smoke signal to indicate A) whether they'll come today; B) or tomorrow; C) or at all; much less D) WHEN DURING THE DAY. 

I think this is rude.  1/4 of the weekend has now passed and they haven't said a thing.  I have made 0 plans dependent upon them, have made other, different plans with other people (including inviting a friend over tomorrow at 11 to swim, so, husband's friend can suck it if they wanted to come then).  Regardless, I still think it's fucking rude not to give a window.  THE CABLE GUY GIVES A WINDOW, FFS.

So, I say "Wow, that's kind of rude.  Their kid is older, I guess they forgot how hard it is to plan around 2 kids' nap schedules."  Husband gets FUCKING DEFENSIVE (I'm talking tense jaw and everything) about how NOT rude they are because he TOLD them it was cool to just let us know whenever and why am I so uptight about this.  And I'm like "When people are coming to my home, I like to know when."  And then he says "they're not necessarily even coming to the house, they're going to be in the yard."  AND I GO FULL STOSSEL ON HIM LIKE "OKAY, THEN, GENIUS, I DON'T LIKE NOT KNOWING WHEN PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE ON MY TAX PARCEL."

WTF?  Dude, we are a team.  If I mildly suggest within the confines of our house that someone's behavior is rude, how about you just agree or go noncommittal.  DON'T DEFEND RUDE PEOPLE TO ME.


P.S.  I used to like having a pool, maybe not anymore.  Actually I still like having a pool, but I want to live at my house with my pool alone.  I'm totally taking a beer out there once L goes down for her nap and will drink it while floating around aimlessly.

[madringal]

I got to say, I have never had the opportunity to use the phrase "tax parcel" in a fight with DH. Well done.

PS - they are rude, your DH is being a douche. I'm sorry.

[lime]

Yes, they are total jerks.

I seriously hope they show up when you aren't at home and they sit and wait, all hot and sweaty, in your driveway because they didn't bother to call first.

[cville]

Jul 26, 2014 11:29:00 GMT -5 lime said:

Yes, they are total jerks.

I seriously hope they show up when you aren't at home and they sit and wait, all hot and sweaty, in your driveway because they didn't bother to call first.

I totally just locked the side gate (it had been unlocked this morning).  Just BECAUSE I CAN.*



*ETA:  and also because legally we're supposed to keep it locked.  Ha.

[cville]

Jul 26, 2014 11:30:44 GMT -5 tators said:

Tax parcel was a good use of words. It's really fucking rude. My H would be irate in the situation, if I had been the person that invited them. Shoot them a text and ask.

No way.  I'm so mad at my husband now I'm like Pontius Pilate washing my hands of anything having to do with them.  I'm all "whatever, I've made plans with friends X and Y tomorrow and am going for a swim and taking a nap this afternoon.  You handle them."

If he okays them to come over and I want to do something else, I'm just going to go do it.  Even if that means he's entertaining alone and left to explain why I have dinner plans with other friends.  I'm Stossel, but I'm also Mr. Freeze.  Don't know/don't care/icing you out.

[cville]

Oh, FYI, we had this fight at like 12:15. So I may amend my passion and position as time progresses. LOL.

[cville]

Jul 26, 2014 11:30:49 GMT -5 kooshball said:

I am on Hs side. I would just plan whatever you want and deal with it if they call. This type of behavior is classic for seattle though. (See seattle freeze)

/unfriend

[Deleted]

They are rude, and your husband gave them license to be so.

Boo to all of them.

[wannabe]

what kind of asshole thinks this is okay? no, goddammit, you get invited over, you let them know when to expect you.

[aussiecrush]

Rude.

[Marle]

I agree with you. Your DH should have been clearer with them or with you; so you would have known from the beginning to just keep on with your life regardless of what they were doing.

I think he feels guilty he was so vague and he is really trying to defend himself.

Plan away sister. Let him handle them.

[cville]

Jul 26, 2014 11:38:47 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

They are rude, and your husband have them license to be so.

Boo to all of them.

That's why I think he's so defensive. He knows he done screwed up.

[vamoose]

Your H's text reads as "text when you're coming over"... I would still text far in advance, but his text was vague to me. Maybe if their kid is older they sleep in! I hope when my kids are older that I'm still lounging and figuring out my day at noon. 

[1confused1]

I would be pissed too. But i also would have asked husband to text them earlier and find out what their plans were.

[05heel]

My H would do something like this. I'm with you all the way. Plus, having people in my house gives me major anxiety, so I need to be fully prepared.

[thedutchgirl]

They are rude. I also think that given the silence you are perfectly entitled to go about your weekend, and they suggest a time that doesn't work, that's sad for them.

[sewf]

Seriously, how are you supposed to do anything else this weekend? Or are you supposed to just wait around for a text?

Bad show, Mr. Cville.

Team you.

[05heel]

Jul 26, 2014 11:43:36 GMT -5 cville said:

Jul 26, 2014 11:38:47 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

They are rude, and your husband have them license to be so.

Boo to all of them.

That's why I think he's so defensive. He knows he done screwed up.

Yup, hence the super lame, "but they'll be in the yard!" Nice try, Mr. Ville.

[cville]

Ha! He texted them and they're all "oh, yeah, busy weekend. Cleaning the house and stuff. Sorry we didn't tell you sooner."

Now the husband is annoyed and FINALLY has conceded that they're rude. So THERE.

[lime]

So, hopefully, he'll get the hint about why being breezy was bad on his part?

[Marle]

LEARNING MOMENT

"Dear hubby, next time do not make open invitations if you want to keep your balls where they are"

[fuckyourcouch]

Lol at tax parcel.

They are very rude.

[alicenelson]

Husbands are jerks.  Enjoy your beer.

[cville]

Jul 26, 2014 11:56:19 GMT -5 lime said:

So, hopefully, he'll get the hint about why being breezy was bad on his part?

Oh yeah. I told him calmly before the whole "they're not rude!" meltdown that while I would like to be breezy I know I'm not that kind of person so let's be more specific in the future.

[Balki.Bartokomous]

Rude (both your H & the friend).

I'd let my H deal with it & go about my day as if they weren't coming over.

I like your cable guy example & I'd totally throw that at them.

"We showed up at your house unexpectedly but you weren't there./Surprise! We're here!"
"Oh, we must have been napping./Now's not a good time. We're so tired. We swam with the cable guy earlier because at least he gave us a time that he was going to show up."

[dexteroni]

Wait, so all that and they aren't even coming? wtf. My guess is that your DH told his friend, who said "sure!" then he told his wife, and wife was like "um, we have X, Y, Z, AA, and BB to do this weekend. We don't have time to go swimming." And then it left friend's mind forever, even though he should have texted your DH right then and said "sorry, can't come this weekend after all. Thanks anyway!"

But before that update, I was on team you go about your weekend and let your DH stay home and wait around for them. I'm not inclined to be inconvenienced unnecessarily, even when it's my DH.

[olegregg]

So they were going to just let you wait for them all weekend? Lol, what fucking flakes! I'm glad you can enjoy your weekend sans ingrates.

[awick14]

DH has done this before once, it didn't go over well.

I say he is rude.

[MixedBerryJam]

Jul 26, 2014 11:40:14 GMT -5 wannabe said:

what kind of asshole thinks this is okay? no, goddammit, you get invited over, you let them know when to expect you.

Not even. You get invited over, you say, "Thank you, that's very nice of you. When should we come that's convenient for you guys?" right then and there, during the inviting conversation.

[mellymel]

Tax parcel!

Lol.

Yeah that whole mess was just rude