The Economist has multiple articles this week about modern parenting. The tidbit that jumped out of me from all of it was how much more genes are thought to matter than was previously the case.
I feel like we've known this forever, yet no real efforts are made to provide high-quality, affordable early childhood education to poor, rural and urban families who need it most.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
The Economist has multiple articles this week about modern parenting. The tidbit that jumped out of me from all of it was how much more genes are thought to matter than was previously the case.
Yes I think this piece tends to get ignored a lot, probably because it's not something you can really control.
The article mentions the Cabin Creek kid going off to play in the woods after school instead of going to a structured activity or doing enriching school work (how many studies have shown that hw adds little to one's education) as if that's a bad thing. If he's a naturally bright kid his mother's hands off approach could actually be a good thing for him because he's developing his creativity and independence with that type of play and exploration.
The Economist has multiple articles this week about modern parenting. The tidbit that jumped out of me from all of it was how much more genes are thought to matter than was previously the case.
Yes I think this piece tends to get ignored a lot, probably because it's not something you can really control.
The article mentions the Cabin Creek kid going off to play in the woods after school instead of going to a structured activity or doing enriching school work (how many studies have shown that hw adds little to one's education) as if that's a bad thing. If he's a naturally bright kid his mother's hands off approach could actually be a good thing for him because he's developing his creativity and independence with that type of play and exploration.
But let's face it : if this kid doesn't graduate from high school, most likely all the creativity and independence gained from playing in the woods aren't going help him get a job that pays more than minimum wage.
Yes I think this piece tends to get ignored a lot, probably because it's not something you can really control.
The article mentions the Cabin Creek kid going off to play in the woods after school instead of going to a structured activity or doing enriching school work (how many studies have shown that hw adds little to one's education) as if that's a bad thing. If he's a naturally bright kid his mother's hands off approach could actually be a good thing for him because he's developing his creativity and independence with that type of play and exploration.
But let's face it : if this kid doesn't graduate from high school, most likely all the creativity and independence gained from playing in the woods aren't going help him get a job that pays more than minimum wage.
True. I'm not saying education isn't important. Just that, contrary to popular belief, kids don't need to be engaged and stimulated by an adult every hour of their waking lives to be successful later on. I have a suspicion that most people are genetically hard wired to be who they're going to be regardless of whether their parents are fussy, anxious helicopter types or free range, hands off type parents.
eta: I do support free early childhood education because I think *parents* need more social support, not necessarily that the kids need it. I pay for private preschool because I frankly need a break from the kids and it's good for them or at least not harmful. I can afford it but people who can't should have that option available to them too.
I feel like we've known this forever, yet no real efforts are made to provide high-quality, affordable early childhood education to poor, rural and urban families who need it most.
That's because the 0-3 year olds just need little baby bootstraps and they'll find a way to get through school themselves.
@lcap - it sounds like you're saying that you don't think preschool is all that beneficial for the kids. Which seems to go against all the studies that show the importance of early childhood education (which I'm not saying is THE answer - parents have to do something to sustain the advantage long term).
Preschool is not an adult engaging them all hours of the day, so I don't see why it should be seen as being in opposition to free time playing in the backyard.
Oh well, in my post to TTT, I was just saying that I agree that UMC parents can stand to pull back a bit. Playing in the yard or playing by themselves or with friends (without adults) can be just as beneficial as structured activities and adult engagement. A child with average or above average intelligence is most likely going to do well regardless of parent or teacher inputs. Sometimes in spite of bad teaching or parent negligence. In the article, the author mentions the Bethesda girl who does ballet most afternoons and then Hebrew school 2x a week and that still her mother worries she's not doing enough with her. If it's the girl's choice to do ballet, then great. But I know for my older son, that would be too much structured activity after having been in school all day. I just know SO many people who came from LMC backgrounds, who didn't have these types of opportunities, and they have been successful in life due to innate intelligence and ambition. Assuming those things exist (which I realize they don't in every person), you don't need to push children that much.
Then I added on the thing about supporting universal prek (for both 3 to 4 year olds) so that she didn't get the wrong idea. I do think preschool is good for kids but I don't think it's absolutely necessary either. I know a lot of kids who don't go and do just fine in school. But like I said, I pay for it so I can get a break and I think other, less financially well off parents should have that break available to them too if they need it.
Yes I think this piece tends to get ignored a lot, probably because it's not something you can really control.
The article mentions the Cabin Creek kid going off to play in the woods after school instead of going to a structured activity or doing enriching school work (how many studies have shown that hw adds little to one's education) as if that's a bad thing. If he's a naturally bright kid his mother's hands off approach could actually be a good thing for him because he's developing his creativity and independence with that type of play and exploration.
But let's face it : if this kid doesn't graduate from high school, most likely all the creativity and independence gained from playing in the woods aren't going help him get a job that pays more than minimum wage.
I agree graduating a kid who "has potential" is better than not graduating a kid who "had potential." Anecdotes, but I know some wicked-smart people who didn't finish school and they are still wicked smart, but yeah, out of 5, only 1 of them has a great paying job.
Yes, not all kids need stimulation, but they need a good foundation for putting the natural curiosity and lust for learning into a life-long endeavor. I think part of early education is not structured learning, but showing kids that a skill like painting pictures can turn into a career like a graphic designer or jumping off tall buildings might make you a good candidate for wildland fire fighting. Those are pretty far-fetched examples, but the exposure to understanding that learning = job/career is what the adults in early education expose kids to - all sorts of different opportunities and things outside their immediate family or friends experiences. I think if you don't see something, like putting your favorite activities into a job/career, from your parents/community/education at an early age, then it's easier to not even imagine that outcome for yourself.
Ok here's an example of what I'm talking about. How many of you know people who put their kids in Kumon for extra enrichment (not tutoring but to get a jump on the next year's curriculum)? They're such a big thing in northern NJ that one of my friends is thinking about buying into a franchise. Honestly, I think that is insane. I usually say that I don't judge parenting things but I think I judge that a little. It's not really going to give your kid that much more of a competitive edge. Is it worth having them give up their free time just to be children? You only get one shot at a childhood.
Your child with average or above average intelligence will do just fine. Let them be. They don't need extra cram classes after school if they're at grade level and learning what they're supposed to be learning.
Ok here's an example of what I'm talking about. How many of you know people who put their kids in Kumon for extra enrichment (not tutoring but to get a jump on the next year's curriculum)?
Actually, the big trend I'm seeing among bourgeoisie parents is Forest Kindergarten.
Ok here's an example of what I'm talking about. How many of you know people who put their kids in Kumon for extra enrichment (not tutoring but to get a jump on the next year's curriculum)? They're such a big thing in northern NJ that one of my friends is thinking about buying into a franchise. Honestly, I think that is insane. I usually say that I don't judge parenting things but I think I judge that a little. It's not really going to give your kid that much more of a competitive edge. Is it worth having them give up their free time just to be children? You only get one shot at a childhood.
That's insane! I know a lot of these tutoring companies have exploded since many of us graduated high school, but I cannot imagine wanting to send my kid for extra enrichment just to get ahead of the curriculum. My 12 year old self would have hated it.
DS is 3, so we haven't faced any of this stuff yet. I am trying to prepare myself since I tend to be more of a slacker than the average parent in our suburb.
My friend who told me about the Kumon thing is a teacher who lives in Millburn and I'm pretty sure she teaches in Summit, which are both really good, high achieving school districts. She works at an independent tutoring company for some extra cash. And she says that what she's noticed over time is that it used to be considered good just to be one grade level ahead (especially in math and science) but now you need to be two or three ahead to be at the top of the class. Honestly, it makes my stomach twist. I think it's straight up crazy.
Ok here's an example of what I'm talking about. How many of you know people who put their kids in Kumon for extra enrichment (not tutoring but to get a jump on the next year's curriculum)?
Actually, the big trend I'm seeing among bourgeoisie parents is Forest Kindergarten.
I've never heard of this so I looked it up. It's an interesting idea. I'm talking about older kids though. Like 4-5th grade to middle school.
Ok here's an example of what I'm talking about. How many of you know people who put their kids in Kumon for extra enrichment (not tutoring but to get a jump on the next year's curriculum)?
Actually, the big trend I'm seeing among bourgeoisie parents is Forest Kindergarten.
Yeah. Exactly. I thought the new trend in hip upper class uber educated parenting was anti schooling/anti over scheduling. That seems to be what all the hip west coast parents are into. Over scheduling is so early aughts.
When I read the mom in the article lamenting the fact that her kid likes to play outside with his friends in the woods I thought the article was going to segue into the benefits of free ranging that the new upper class parents seem to like.
Ok here's an example of what I'm talking about. How many of you know people who put their kids in Kumon for extra enrichment (not tutoring but to get a jump on the next year's curriculum)?
Actually, the big trend I'm seeing among bourgeoisie parents is Forest Kindergarten.
Is this an outdoor education program? Those have been popular in Colorado/MT/Oregon for awhile b/c I know people in them - some even go through high school.
Actually, the big trend I'm seeing among bourgeoisie parents is Forest Kindergarten.
I've never heard of this so I looked it up. It's an interesting idea. I'm talking about older kids though. Like 4-5th grade to middle school.
The thrust of the article was not school age kids, though, but ECE. They were using the example of the mom being unable to enforce homework to illustrate the larger problems suffered by the have-nots AND to contrast it against the little girl of the bougie mom who pretended to have homework.
DS is 3, so we haven't faced any of this stuff yet. I am trying to prepare myself since I tend to be more of a slacker than the average parent in our suburb.
Sadly, in our area, we're seeing Kumon for preschoolers (3 and 4 year olds). It's a damn shame.
Gah, that is a shame. I really struggle with this whole academic push and how the "norm" is what was 1st grade is now K, and so on. At some point there has to be a realization that their little brains just cannot process some of the crap that is pushed so early. Programs like this aren't doing anyone any favors.
DS is 3, so we haven't faced any of this stuff yet. I am trying to prepare myself since I tend to be more of a slacker than the average parent in our suburb.
Sadly, in our area, we're seeing Kumon for preschoolers (3 and 4 year olds). It's a damn shame.
I know people who are doing it to support their early readers over the break between kindergarten and first grade. Otoh, I get it. They don't want their kids to fall behind and I can see how it might be beneficial for their confidence level to start the next year already at that reading level. I wonder if we should have signed him up for it. Otoh, I know that my almost 6 yo does not want to spend his summer vacation going to "school." I don't think it always results in this but I can see it becoming a slippery slope to putting too much pressure on your kids.
Yeah. Exactly. I thought the new trend in hip upper class uber educated parenting was anti schooling/anti over scheduling. That seems to be what all the hip west coast parents are into. Over scheduling is so early aughts.
When I read the mom in the article lamenting the fact that her kid likes to play outside with his friends in the woods I thought the article was going to segue into the benefits of free ranging that the new upper class parents seem to like.
Unschooling? It's starting to get big among crunchy types down here. I really wonder about the long term effects of this movement.
I think it's moving down the coast from Seattle. Blame them.
Honestly I think if you are a certain type of parent that is super invested in your child's education such that you are actually following a certain philosophy, and bonus you also come from a certain level of educational attainment, I'm not entirely sure it matters which philosophy you follow. Your kid is probably going to be fine.
I've never heard of this so I looked it up. It's an interesting idea. I'm talking about older kids though. Like 4-5th grade to middle school.
The thrust of the article was not school age kids, though, but ECE. They were using the example of the mom being unable to enforce homework to illustrate the larger problems suffered by the have-nots AND to contrast it against the little girl of the bougie mom who pretended to have homework.
You can't take that one sentence and isolate it.
It's just an example. Another one could be all the SAHMs that I know who feel pressured to do as many mommy and me type classes as they can fit in their schedule. Or to talk to and engage with their children ALL day long to the point where you start to see people following their little snowflakes around on the playground narrating for them. It's all part of a larger trend. "Oh Johhny, there's the SLIDE. Can you say slide? What color is the slide? RED." And on and on. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this either. I don't feel up to playing with my children all day long but I don't want them to just sit around watching tv either so I actually pay someone to come over to my house to play with them for 2 hours every day so I can get a break. I realize it's silly and extreme but there you go. I clearly drank the Kool Aid too, lol.
I dunno if this is related but childcare sharing has absolutely exploded in my area. That being said I've noticed that there is definite exclusion of lower class women and single, young mothers, which drives me insane because I feel like them and their babies would benefit the most from it. There's this pervasive attitude though that poverty is like leprosy, to be blunt, like it will somehow "rub off" on their kids and that one day a week in the care of someone who doesn't use fair trade organic peanut butter is going to hurt their child. One of the moms in my play group was horrified that I trade childcare with a 19 year old Puerto Rican woman one day a week when her mom can't watch the baby and basically intimated that I must be desperate.
I feel like there's a divide that is on some level encouraged by the middle and upper class moms- they don't want to be associated with poor moms or let their kids play with their kids.
But then I live in a failed Industry town that turned to tech to recover so we have pretty severe class issues.
Actually, the big trend I'm seeing among bourgeoisie parents is Forest Kindergarten.
Is this an outdoor education program? Those have been popular in Colorado/MT/Oregon for awhile b/c I know people in them - some even go through high school.
It's exclusive outdoor education. Began in Germany (where else) and moved over here.
The kids are outside the whole time in most weather (obviously they make exceptions for safety purposes). They learn thru play and exploring the same way you would "indoors" but thru woodland or whatever material.
Usually I've seen it offered in half-day sessions, so parents send their kids to "conventional" kindergarten in the morning and then "forest" kindergarten in the afternoon.
It's not "unschooling", as there are still child care attendants and something of a structure. You could look at it like Montesori In The Wild.
I think it's moving down the coast from Seattle. Blame them.
Honestly I think if you are a certain type of parent that is super invested in your child's education such that you are actually following a certain philosophy, and bonus you also come from a certain level of educational attainment, I'm not entirely sure it matters which philosophy you follow. Your kid is probably going to be fine.
Damn, Seattle! LOL
In terms of effects, I wonder more about how children who were unschooled bridge into the real world. Is it a complete culture shock? Do they adjust well when placed into the workforce, if they aren't accustomed to traditional structures? That sort of thing.
I do think it is possible to do well but the parents have to be very highly educated themselves, creative, flexible, and extremely committed. I do wonder how many people who are doing it are really up to that standard. I know I couldn't do it and have no business (or interest really) in trying. And the unschooling "schools" that I've come across are not good. I wouldn't send a child to any of them. But that's not to say that good ones don't exist.
The thrust of the article was not school age kids, though, but ECE. They were using the example of the mom being unable to enforce homework to illustrate the larger problems suffered by the have-nots AND to contrast it against the little girl of the bougie mom who pretended to have homework.
You can't take that one sentence and isolate it.
It's just an example. Another one could be all the SAHMs that I know who feel pressured to do as many mommy and me type classes as they can fit in their schedule. Or to talk to and engage with their children ALL day long to the point where you start to see people following their little snowflakes around on the playground narrating for them. It's all part of a larger trend. "Oh Johhny, there's the SLIDE. Can you say slide? What color is the slide? RED." And on and on. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this either. I don't feel up to playing with my children all day long but I don't want them to just sit around watching tv either so I actually pay someone to come over to my house to play with them for 2 hours every day so I can get a break. I realize it's silly and extreme but there you go. I clearly drank the Kool Aid too, lol.
Except as the article points out, that sort of talking/prattle is important to childhood language development. It's part of the reason kids of poorer families lag behind their peers.
This is why HeyJude is completely right to snort at the mom using the Baby Einstein videos. It's not just hearing words that's important. Language is best taught SOCIALLY. Studies have shown that plonking a kid in front of a video or having them "listen" to books does not garner the same results as speaking or reading to your child.
This, obviously, doesn't address the over-scheduling starting to creep into pre-K and K kids. I'm seeing that a lot as well on my FB feed. But this isn't a thing that's 100% nature or 100% nurture. Like most things, it's blended.
I think it's moving down the coast from Seattle. Blame them.
Honestly I think if you are a certain type of parent that is super invested in your child's education such that you are actually following a certain philosophy, and bonus you also come from a certain level of educational attainment, I'm not entirely sure it matters which philosophy you follow. Your kid is probably going to be fine.
Damn, Seattle! LOL
In terms of effects, I wonder more about how children who were unschooled bridge into the real world. Is it a complete culture shock? Do they adjust well when placed into the workforce, if they aren't accustomed to traditional structures? That sort of thing.
Probably fine.
But this movement has many different levels of involvement it seems.
My only point seems to be the ultra structured child seems to be passé, IMO.
It's exclusive outdoor education. Began in Germany (where else) and moved over here.
The kids are outside the whole time in most weather (obviously they make exceptions for safety purposes). They learn thru play and exploring the same way you would "indoors" but thru woodland or whatever material.
Usually I've seen it offered in half-day sessions, so parents send their kids to "conventional" kindergarten in the morning and then "forest" kindergarten in the afternoon.
It's not "unschooling", as there are still child care attendants and something of a structure. You could look at it like Montesori In The Wild.
If you like outdoors, that sounds fun.
It does. If you like the outdoors. Personally I'm a bit on the hedge about all that cause usually it involves mosquitoes and ticks and crap.
Also, like a lot of ECE programs that we've imported from Germany, there are good ways to implement it and bad ways.
Is this an outdoor education program? Those have been popular in Colorado/MT/Oregon for awhile b/c I know people in them - some even go through high school.
It's exclusive outdoor education. Began in Germany (where else) and moved over here.
The kids are outside the whole time in most weather (obviously they make exceptions for safety purposes). They learn thru play and exploring the same way you would "indoors" but thru woodland or whatever material.
Usually I've seen it offered in half-day sessions, so parents send their kids to "conventional" kindergarten in the morning and then "forest" kindergarten in the afternoon.
It's not "unschooling", as there are still child care attendants and something of a structure. You could look at it like Montesori In The Wild.
Yup, then we send out kids to that. It's Montessori, but they have an "outdoor classroom" that they hike to each day for several hours. Almost all our more affluent preschools in our town have some sort of outdoor education component - even if it's not everyday, they all go on hikes and such during spring, summer, fall, and winter. One friend run ones that has snowshoes for the preschoolers so they can hike our local mountain everyday (her school is an old miners cabin at the base of the mountain).
I didn't even know I was on-trend, I just like making my kids hike and bike and live in a mountain town where most of our community does that.
Ok here's an example of what I'm talking about. How many of you know people who put their kids in Kumon for extra enrichment (not tutoring but to get a jump on the next year's curriculum)? They're such a big thing in northern NJ that one of my friends is thinking about buying into a franchise. Honestly, I think that is insane. I usually say that I don't judge parenting things but I think I judge that a little. It's not really going to give your kid that much more of a competitive edge. Is it worth having them give up their free time just to be children? You only get one shot at a childhood.
That's insane! I know a lot of these tutoring companies have exploded since many of us graduated high school, but I cannot imagine wanting to send my kid for extra enrichment just to get ahead of the curriculum. My 12 year old self would have hated it.
LOL I would totally do this. Then again, I think we've established I'm a bit Tiger Mom-ish. Good to see you active today! Drop by more often. :-)
It's just an example. Another one could be all the SAHMs that I know who feel pressured to do as many mommy and me type classes as they can fit in their schedule. Or to talk to and engage with their children ALL day long to the point where you start to see people following their little snowflakes around on the playground narrating for them. It's all part of a larger trend. "Oh Johhny, there's the SLIDE. Can you say slide? What color is the slide? RED." And on and on. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this either. I don't feel up to playing with my children all day long but I don't want them to just sit around watching tv either so I actually pay someone to come over to my house to play with them for 2 hours every day so I can get a break. I realize it's silly and extreme but there you go. I clearly drank the Kool Aid too, lol.
Except as the article points out, that sort of talking/prattle is important to childhood language development. It's part of the reason kids of poorer families lag behind their peers.
This is why HeyJude is completely right to snort at the mom using the Baby Einstein videos. It's not just hearing words that's important. Language is best taught SOCIALLY. Studies have shown that plonking a kid in front of a video or having them "listen" to books does not garner the same results as speaking or reading to your child.
This, obviously, doesn't address the over-scheduling starting to creep into pre-K and K kids. I'm seeing that a lot as well on my FB feed. But this isn't a thing that's 100% nature or 100% nurture. Like most things, it's blended.
I know that's why they do the prattle thing but studies have also shown that you don't have to do it 24/7 either. Doing it at the playground is kind of overkill IMO. Let your kid play and explore with the other kids. Let them have fun, for goodness sakes. Leaving them alone for five minutes won't set them back, lol.
It's obviously an issue for lower income households but I'm pretty sure universal preK is a unity horse on here. Also the fact that there isn't a political will for it in many places has been acknowledged. So what else is there to say about that.