Experience with a colicky baby?

[jackpackage]

DS has spent the majority of the past 2 weeks crying. Today he started at 7:30 and finally stopped at 2 (with breaks to eat, plus he had a pedi appointment, so he stopped for a few minutes in the car ). I'm envious of people who say their newborn just sleeps and goes wherever they go. He's so sweet and adorable, but when he's screaming I just want to scream back. I won't do it, so don't call CPS. I know this too shall pass, but between this and nursing pains, I feel pretty defeated.

[sewpinkgal]

I will admit it - there were a handful of times that I did scream back. Sometimes in another room, sometimes right there. The incessant screaming just wears on you after awhile. And I'm sorry, but if you haven't had a colicky baby, you really can't understand the level of frustration the mom (and dad) face each day. It's a rough road and one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

A few tips:
* If you have someone that is good with a screaming baby, try to get a break every so often. Even if that break is a walk around the block. Or taking a shower with the fan turned up so you can't hear the screaming.
* J would sometimes mellow out just being outside or listening to running water. We spent a lot of time next to our patio fountain and hanging out in the bathroom with the shower going.
* Be kind to yourself. It's really hard to take the screaming day in and day out. You're gonna get frustrated. You're gonna cry. Hell, you'll probably scream, too. It will eventually get better. In the meantime, do what you can to cope.

I'm really sorry you're going through this and I hope he grows out of it soon. Hugs.

[Willis Jackson]

Yes, and it completely sucked. It was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with but, thankfully, my memories are very fuzzy. 3 years later and my colicky baby is the happiest guy in the world.

Hang in there. Try not to compare your baby to others because you'll drive yourself crazy (and want to punch their cheery parents).

[Willis Jackson]

Oh, I absolutely went to the other room and screamed my face off.

[twinsinmd]

We used a lot of the "Happiest Baby on the Block" techniques, and they helped a TON. They have a DVD that we watched! Good luck-I know how hard it is!

[Ashley&Scott]

DS was colicky every night from 3-5 weeks. Try to get some time to yourself when you can. Can you take him outside? Taking DS outside was like magic. Motion also helped, DH used to hold him while doing squats. I did a similar dipping type motion.

Hang in there it will get better!

[dcrunnergirl]

Have you read Happiest Baby on the Block? The techniques in there really helped us, particularly the shushing and white noise. Also, taking the babies outside helped. When things got really bad, I'd also take the crying one into the bathroom, turn on the tub full force, turn on the fan, turn on the sink, turn off the lights, and put the baby's head near the tub faucet. The swooshing noise in the dark worked wonders.

[Ashley&Scott]

Have you been able to get out at all? Even taking him with you, maybe a BF support group or other moms group...

[mollybrown]

Been there. It really does get better. It's like someone flipped a switch on my son at 5 months. He went from being devil child to the most awesome angel baby and toddler. He's still exceptionally sweet and well behaved at 3.5.

DH and I half joked that we finally got why those "never shake a baby" commercials are necessary. We never would have shaken him, but I can see how someone with less resources and support might just lose it.

I had problems nursing too. This might be flammable, but in hindsight, I should have bought some formula and gotten out of the house for half a day. It would have gone a long way during that period in which I felt trapped and overwhelmed.

[Saudade]

oh yes. Every night until around 12 weeks. At 12 weeks he moved into needing me to lay by him while he slept starting at 6pm. It was terrible. The 5 S's helped but we still had a colicky baby. I was also alone at night because my husband works nights starting at 3pm. There are no mom's groups or any other support groups around here.

Time was the best solution and I wanted to strangle anyone who said "it will get better" but it's true. He isn't colicky now but he still is very particular about his bedtime.

There were many days when I would put him in the crib and go outside to cry for 2 minutes. There were even more days where we would rock together, him screaming, me sobbing. I didn't wish the same on anyone, but I did want someone who understood.

ETA: Now he is 5 months and sooo happy (except when overtired) so there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it feels like a never ending tunnel.

[Deleted]

Yes we experienced something similar with DS1. Turns out that he had silent reflux. The stomach acid was coming back into his throat every time he ate, which I'm sure was very painful for him and at least partially explained why he was crying and screaming all of the time. But since he wasn't spitting up a lot, it took us a while to figure out what the problem was. We put him on a combo of prevacid and zantac when he was four months old and suddenly he turned into a completely different child.

Until then we used the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques with some success. He liked to be swaddled tightly, he liked motion so I'd drive around to put him to sleep for naps, white noise like the vaccum cleaner or hair dryer would put him out at night, and when his stomach hurt I'd lay him down across my lap and rub his back or I'd flip him over and bicycle his legs. That seemed to help a lot.

After we figured it out about the reflux, we started putting him down to sleep at night on his stomach and that made a huge difference as well. If I'd known about them at the time, I would have bought one of those Fisher Price Rock n Play sleepers because he hated being flat on his back.

[Deleted]

My DD2 was colicky for a long time....later we found out she had food allergies (though I only BF) so maybe that had something to do with her colic. I had a 2yr old toddler & was a SAHM & DD cried from 2 or 3pm until 7-8pm nightly until about 8mo. I thought I'd loose my freaking mind. DH came home at 5:30 & I literally had to hand DD over & leave the room....he'd walk her (pace) the house for hours until she finally passed out. Some days I had to just put her in the crib & walk away for a few minutes. Other times I'd put her in the swing & turn up classical music really loud which seemed to distract her enough to stop crying. I'd love to say her issues ended at 8mo but she's been a super sensitive, moody child with digestive issues plaguing much of her first 4.5yrs. It's gotten better this past year (she's 5.5) though. On a plus, I think all that classical music was good for her--She's super musical & super smart.

[jackpackage]

I think we've tried everything posted, and some things do help for a few minutes, but the screaming usually continues.

Sewpink-a fountain sounds excellent. He likes being outside and running water, so that's a great idea.
Molly-when my mom was here, she talked me into giving him a bottle of formula when I couldn't pump anything and was fed up with nursing . I felt so guilty at first, but I'm over it and will let anyone give him a bottle of anything if it means I can sleep. I think it's only flame worthy on the nest

Re:reflux, when I asked his pediatrician about it today, he said he wouldn't recommend meds for a baby this young. I think? I have to ask h what his reasoning was. He spits up so much that I thought that was the case.

Thank you all so much for the support and suggestions. It helps a ton!

[Deleted]

I would look into a new pedi. DS had horrific reflux & mspi. My pedi said he rarely sees a truly " colicky" baby & that a baby that cannot be soothed using the 5 s method may have a medical issue. DS changed completely when we switched to elemental formula, & pit him on prilosec.

[sewpinkgal]

At 3 weeks old, I was in our pedi office because J would not stop screaming - on and off all day and nothing we tried seemed to help much. He noticed J swallowing a lot and said that it sounded like it could be silent reflux, since he rarely spit up. The pedi basically did a full court press - Zantac for J, get me off dairy/soy/gas producing foods (since I was BFing), elevate the crib mattress, etc. It helped, but eventually he just seemed to outgrow the screaming... around 14 weeks or so.

If your doctor is really against medication, I might look for a different doctor. When the little guys are in that much pain and discomfort, anything that may help should be explored, IMO. Good luck, hang in there and please don't be afraid to follow your gut and advocate for treatment if you think it might help.

[upupandaway]

My first was colicky (maybe not the medical definition of colic which is purple screaming for 3 plus hours a day, but he was right on the line). Nothing I did seemed to help all that much, it just made him less unhappy. I couldn't take him anywhere! He cried in the car, grocery shopping, the mall, I was literally trapped in my house for months! Around 6 months he improved a lot (I remember it was six months old because that was the last time I called my husband at work in tears begging him to come home and help me.

If I had it to do over I would probably invest in Bose noise canceling headphones so I could hold him without wanting to throw myself off a bridge. And I would have gone on anti-depressants. I didn't at the time, but in retrospect it would have helped a lot with staying calm. Because yeah, I did yell back, burst into tears, etc. I tried to go into the other room but didn't always make it

The one thing that worked to quiet him was holding him close and running and vacuum cleaner. He would literally turn off like a switch...but then start right back up when the vacuum went off!

Hang in there, I have been there and know what you're going through. If it helps you any, my second baby is super happy. Wakes up with the biggest smile on his face And his big brother grew up to be a great 5 year old.

[hannamaren]

Is your baby getting too much to eat? Sounds impossible, but my baby has reflux from too much formula. We gave her the bottle when she cried, but it was just the sucking she wanted.
Despite stopping that, she still cried every night for about 5 hours. Vacuum helped. The S'/s (swaddling, shushing, etc) sometimes helped. My H and I took tirns.
At 8 weeks on the dot, she stopped! She also got her swing then which was magic. I joke that I would pay $20000 for a swing.

[jackpackage]

I need to call back tomorrow because h wasn't sure that he ever really elaborated about meds for reflux either. The majority of the screaming is 8pm-2am, which he said is typical for colic. He asked if he is bothered before or after spitting up, which he isn't, and since he's gaining weight, has a ton of dirty diapers, he didn't suspect reflux.

ETA: Hanna & upup-I just read vacuum as Valium and I was like "good idea!"

[Deleted]

jackpage- my ds gained TONS of weight he was above birthweight at his first pedi appointment at 4 days old. Yet his intestines & esophogas were both bleeding. The kid was just still eating. He actually has had reflux episodes so severe they looked like seizures. Poor baby. Anyways sounds like your pedi is pretty old school. Does your ds get eczema or diaper rash often. Does his spit up smell like burnt rubber a little? Are his stools mucusy?

[greekypie]

When I was at my wit's end, basically AFTER I'd screamed back at him and we were both still crying, I'd take him outside (this always seemed to be during the evening hours, aka the Witching Hour). The change of scenery calmed him down and bought my me a few minutes of peace. I walked to the mailbox a lot.

Oh, and also, he had undiagnosed reflux. Awesome.

[water*drop]

Jul 23, 2012 15:22:17 GMT -5 Saudade said:

There were even more days where we would rock together, him screaming, me sobbing. I didn't wish the same on anyone, but I did want someone who understood.

This. Very much this.

I suspect reflux and a milk/soy protein intolerance is at least part of the problem with my DD. I cut milk and soy 1.5 weeks ago and saw an improvement until last night, when all hell broke loose again. I don't know if I slipped up and ate something wrong or if the improvement was just a fluke.

We sometimes have success with running a hair dryer next to the bassinet (on cool, and obviously pointing away from her). Sometimes she'll calm down enough to fall asleep, which then leaves us with the question of whether or not we should risk turning it off and waking her up. :-(

[Mrs.Syntax]

Like Violets, my DD also had silent reflux. I just about lost my mind. We (us and the pedi) didn't figure it out until she was 2 months old.

Happiest Baby on the Block methods didn't work for her at all until she was on Zantac.

[hocus]

My second had colic (3+ days per week of extensive crying).
It sucks to be honest, but I think Ferber has a really good section on this. We ended up getting a swing and if I couldn't sooth him after an hour or two we've give him time alone in the swing (which sometimes helped and sometimes didn't).

It is OK to take a break. Some babies improve if you do nothing oddly enough. In most babies it weeks around weeks 6-8 and is gone by 16 weeks.

ETA. My child did not have reflux or a food allergy. Sometimes is really is just colic. It gets better.

[iheartbanjos]

DD had a dairy and soy allergy and there were several weeks that if she was awake, she was crying. I wore her constantly, went on long walks, vacuumed with her, and in the evenings, DH would swaddle her and bounce with her on an exercise ball until she fell asleep. Like you said, it doesn't last forever, but it makes for some long days.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Oh honey, I have been there, and I'm so, so sorry you're going through it. I wouldn't wish a colicky baby on my worst enemy. Big hugs.

Happiest Baby on the Block was great, but it wasn't a magical solution for us.

My daughter basically screamed from birth until 5 months unless she was nursing or sleeping (which she often did while still on the boob). I'm exaggerating some, she did have some moments during the day where she was happy, but from mid afternoon until 10pm or so, she screamed.

I would often take her outside -- the change of scenery did help.

But it was all about survival. Make sure YOU get a break. You need to convince your DH to take that screaming unhappy baby and just deal with it for 45 minutes so you can take a bath in peace. My DH would take the baby for me to take a bath and relax, but he would constantly run in asking frantically, "are you done yet??? She needs to nurse NOW." That did not make it very relaxing for me!!!

One huge thing -- we figured out at 5 months that DD was allergic to dairy. She had a tiny amount of blood in her stool. Her pediatrician wasn't terribly concerned, but he said, "well, that's usually caused by a dairy allergy, so just cut all dairy out of your diet and see if she gets better." (I was nursing.) Giving up dairy was not fun, but it was a whole heck of a lot better than having a miserable child.

I've had several friends with the same thing -- a colicky baby who turned out to just have a dairy (and/or soy) allergy. I'd really investigate that route because if that's the problem, you can fix it relatively easily and make your life so much easier!! Dairy allergies are very common in infants, and most kids outgrow them. If you're formula feeding, then the non-dairy, non-soy forumulas are much more expensive. If you're nursing, then you will have to radically overhaul your diet. But either way, I promise it will be worth it if that's what the problem is!!

[Deleted]

I did a lot of screaming into a towel in the bathroom. It's ROUGH and people look at you like you have 3 heads when you say it's hard. Which makes it worse. Hang in there. Hugs.