So how is everyone doing??

[flex]

It's been kind of quiet around here lately.  How are you doing?  Everything okay?  Not so okay?

[Deleted]

I'm okay. Recovering from a procedure on my face. In May, I had a skin cancer on my lower eyelid removed. My doctor used skin from my upper eyelid to create and graft a new lower eyelid. A quasi-eyelift on one side, right?

Skip forward a couple of months to now. Everything healed nicely, except I had one "perky" eye and one "droopy" eye. So I had a blepharoplasty to even things out. Also some tweaks on the previous scar. Other than looking like I've been in a fight, doing well.

Any updates on your mom flex?

[flex]

Oh wow @courtneyloves--I had no idea you were going through that. I hope it heals quickly.

No updates on Mom since the appointment with the oncologist earlier this week. She's having tests done and the results will be reviewed when she goes to her next appointment which is August 18

[hungrycaterpillar]

Hi. @courtneyloves - glad you're recovering well. flex - thinking and praying for your mom.

I am...okay. We'll see how these next two weeks go. I'm out of school for two weeks before my next rotation starts and I don't do well with having a lot of time on my hands. I've planned some outings with friends but I don't feel like going. I hate forcing myself to get up and do things, but I know I can't hide in my apartment for the next two weeks either.

[flex]

hungrycaterpillar: thank you for the prayers--keep 'em coming.

It's important to not allow yourself to isolate. I know EXACTLY how you feel--there are periods of time when I have to force myself to do things. Try to see past the moment. It can be difficult but I'm always glad when I do get up and do things. ((hugs))

[Deleted]

Aug 9, 2014 9:06:53 GMT -5 flex said:

hungrycaterpillar: thank you for the prayers--keep 'em coming.

It's important to not allow yourself to isolate. I know EXACTLY how you feel--there are periods of time when I have to force myself to do things. Try to see past the moment. It can be difficult but I'm always glad when I do get up and do things. ((hugs))

Me too. What Flex said. There are times I'd just rather just stay home, yet when I get with people, I'm always happier.  Have fun, hungrycaterpillar.  Those rotations are difficult.  Enjoy your time off!  

[btay]

I have been busy busy busy. I have plans every day this weekend which I usually avoid doing, but I didn't want to miss out on anything. H still has scheduled our first therapy appt. but we had a great night hanging out on Friday. I am also in the final days of a diet bet that lead to me give up my 6 pop a day habit so I m anxious that I didn't do enough to drop the weight.

[mel]

I went through a really rough patch. I wouldn't say it is anywhere close to being over but I did get an escape for a week while on vacation. Now back to the real world though and back to all of the stress I have going on.

Basically my ex and I are about to go at each other again over custody of my little guy and it's going to get really really ugly (meaning CPS is getting involved and there are accusations of suspected child abuse and there will be an investigation). This whole custody thing really shook me up and is testing my faith in a big way. In more ways than I can explain. I posted a little while ago that just getting through a day was an accomplishment and it still is. I hope I have the strength to face this head on.

I haven't been taking my meds either so I'm sure that has a lot to do with this depression too. I haven't cut which is a good thing but some days it's so hard to get out of bed. I almost cancelled my vacation but after a lot of prompting from my family and friends, I decided to go. I had a great time and escaping really helped. Antigua is beautiful!

[flex]

mel why are you off your medication?

[SwimDeep]

I'm not doing well this weekend...I've been wrestling with my higher power and caught up in just being a stressed out, sleep deprived bitch. I'm so tired of putting up with other people's shit in the name of being "nice".

mel - What medication are you taking? I think I understand why you stopped taking it, but I still want to express my concern. I know you're a nurse, so I'm sure you know the risks involved with stopping certain medicine cold-turkey.
I'm glad to hear you had a good vacation! Even as you move forward into a stressful period of time, try to remember the smell of the ocean and the feel of the sand. And always remember that you can vent here! Don't try to hold all of it in (I tend to do that, and it never does me any good).

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2014 1:28:49 GMT -5 mel said:

I went through a really rough patch. I wouldn't say it is anywhere close to being over but I did get an escape for a week while on vacation. Now back to the real world though and back to all of the stress I have going on.

Basically my ex and I are about to go at each other again over custody of my little guy and it's going to get really really ugly (meaning CPS is getting involved and there are accusations of suspected child abuse and there will be an investigation). This whole custody thing really shook me up and is testing my faith in a big way. In more ways than I can explain. I posted a little while ago that just getting through a day was an accomplishment and it still is. I hope I have the strength to face this head on.

I haven't been taking my meds either so I'm sure that has a lot to do with this depression too. I haven't cut which is a good thing but some days it's so hard to get out of bed. I almost cancelled my vacation but after a lot of prompting from my family and friends, I decided to go. I had a great time and escaping really helped. Antigua is beautiful!

I'm glad you checked in, mel.  Was wondering about your trip, etc.  Glad Antigua was a little respite.  What about your meds.  Why aren't you taking them?  You need to take care of you first, so you can be there for your little boy.  

[mel]

I stopped taking my meds because they made me feel so drowsy all of the time and I felt like I was living in a fog or in slow motion. I didn't stop cold turkey. I emailed my doctor and she told me to taper off of them so I did. I haven't been able to get an appointment with her to get started on something new. It's drama with my insurance company and her lack of availability. I think I mentioned here before that she canceled my last appointment and I had to get my pcp to do my refills. Since then I still haven't been able to get a good appointment time. I'm still taking some of them but not the ones that make me feel so drowsy.

Antigua was amazing. I was so at peace there and am hoping to continue with that feeling as the weeks ahead approach. I keep telling myself that God has a plan for me and a plan for my son. He already has this worked out and that I just have to get through it to see what his plan is.

Honestly while I was in Antigua I was so relaxed and for the first time ever I felt beautiful and confident. I felt so sure of myself. I really hope that I can continue to feel that way as it really was so nice to have a little faith in myself and to forget about depression, anxiety, and self injury for awhile.

[anodyne]

Not good. DH did a 180 last night. He said he never told me he would never drink again and that he is not an alcoholic. I am numb.

[flex]

Aug 10, 2014 22:49:05 GMT -5 anodyne said:

Not good. DH did a 180 last night. He said he never told me he would never drink again and that he is not an alcoholic. I am numb.

Oh my goodness.  I'm so sorry.  (((hugs)))

[btay]

Aug 10, 2014 22:49:05 GMT -5 anodyne said:

Not good. DH did a 180 last night. He said he never told me he would never drink again and that he is not an alcoholic. I am numb.

I am so sorry ((()))

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2014 22:49:05 GMT -5 anodyne said:

Not good. DH did a 180 last night. He said he never told me he would never drink again and that he is not an alcoholic. I am numb.

Oh no! I'm really sorry.  

[partiallysunny]

Aug 10, 2014 22:49:05 GMT -5 anodyne said:

Not good. DH did a 180 last night. He said he never told me he would never drink again and that he is not an alcoholic. I am numb.

I'm so sorry.

[malibu]

Ugh. It doesn't sound like anyone's having a great weekend (ok, it's Monday now so that should be past tense). Hugs and support to everyone.

anodyne Any idea what your next steps might be? Is this a dealbreaker for you?

H seems to be doing well on his new ADs. He was busy rewiring stuff for the new TV (waste of money but what's done is done, and it is a nice TV). He also cleaned out some cabinets in our built-in in the dining room. I did massive amounts of laundry. I 'recharged' our towels, as Pinterest told me to do using vinegar and baking soda, and they really do feel softer and don't have a lingering wet laundry smell. I also made a loaf of chocolate chip peanut butter banana bread. I was pretty sure I'd died and gone to heaven after taking a bite. So while we didn't do anything fun this weekend, we got along (although DD was driving BOTH of us insane - she was not listening and would do the opposite of everything we told her!), and we accomplished some stuff that needed to be done.

I'm not looking forward to the mountains of clean laundry to be put away when I get home. That's the worst part of the process.

I'm supposed to be going on several trips to Canada for four nights each in the next couple weeks. I'm pretty anxious about it. I'm worried that H will decide to drink since I won't be there to see it. I saw my doctor on Thursday and they're upping my Cymbalta to help with my sky high anxiety and the depression that seems to be creeping in more and more. I also have a therapist appointment on the 29th, finally.

[anodyne]

Aug 11, 2014 11:12:27 GMT -5 malibu said:

anodyne Any idea what your next steps might be? Is this a dealbreaker for you?

I don't know.  We didn't speak much on Sunday.  I am still in shock that he told me the way I heard a conversation didn't happen.  He headed OOT last night for the week for work.

I know that this is not something I can make him do.  I am more than willing to help him through recovery, but he has to be on board and right now he is not.  I'd have to say at some point, yes this will be a deal breaker.  At this time, logistically it can't be.

I stay at home and my field has no work out there.  School starts next week and I will start to see if there is any contract/part time work out there.  DH travels and we have 2 kids so I need to be home when they get home from school.

My mind is so scrambled right now.   

[lexxasaurus]

I'm so sorry anodyne to hear that.

I'm doing mostly okay. Just got seven months sober, and exhausted from my crazy work schedule so finding it hard to feel totally fulfilled and good about life but I know that's temporary. Had time to hit up a meeting in my area recently and it had a nice chill vibe to it so I'll probably try to get to it again.

[flex]

Aug 11, 2014 13:54:19 GMT -5 lexxasaurus said:

I'm so sorry anodyne to hear that.

I'm doing mostly okay. Just got seven months sober, and exhausted from my crazy work schedule so finding it hard to feel totally fulfilled and good about life but I know that's temporary. Had time to hit up a meeting in my area recently and it had a nice chill vibe to it so I'll probably try to get to it again.

This is great to hear, lex.  Keep up the good work!   :Y:

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2014 13:54:19 GMT -5 lexxasaurus said:

I'm so sorry anodyne to hear that.

I'm doing mostly okay. Just got seven months sober, and exhausted from my crazy work schedule so finding it hard to feel totally fulfilled and good about life but I know that's temporary. Had time to hit up a meeting in my area recently and it had a nice chill vibe to it so I'll probably try to get to it again.

Seven months is great! Keep it up.

[Deleted]

Oh and my stitches came out today. Yay! Both eyes are pretty swollen and blackened, but this too shall pass. Finally I can put this episode behind me.

PSA: Always wear your sunscreen!

[aba]

Hi:) I'm doing ok....I have had a hell of a week and the stress is starting to get to me. Work, car problems and studying for the most important exam of my life:-/ I will be taking my national board exam on the 23rd. I am freaking out! My OCD habits have been in full force with studying. I guess that's somewhat of a good thing, but it's really bothering me. 

With all of this being said, my eating habits have not been fantastic. I have lost quite a bit over the past week. Problem is, I like this! I really, really want to continue. I am by no means underweight, so it's not a huge issue right now, but I am really missing my "old" weight. Blah.....