who is rude? Kid related

[thumper55]

this is a silly vent and I've told myself it's NBD. However, I've been thinking about it since yesterday - I can't believe it's still bugging me, so I want your opinion.

When I pickup DS (4 yr) and DD (2yr) from school, as we exit to the parking lot, there is a lawn area to cross. There are always kids (usually about ten kids) playing on this lawn area during pick up time. I usually let my kids play there a little before putting them in the car.

Yesterday, I had my eyes on DD while DS was walking on the lawn. I heard a parent next to me say "HEY no spitting, no spitting!" I looked up and saw DS just walking around.

Then this parent who was clearly agitated and says to me "your son is spitting in the grass and other kids play here. That's not good". He shouldn't be spitting here at all."

I was suprised and irked that she was the one yelling at my son. I was next to her; if she has a problem then tell ME about it and I'll handle it; don't yell at my son. Plus it's embarrassing because other parents had noticed when she yelled, and then talked to me. I just said "oh I heard you; I didn't know you were talking to my son; thank you for letting me know" What I really wanted to say was " YOU ARE RUDE and out of line for yelling at my son"

So if you were here, is seeing a kid spit in the grass a really big deal, that you would confront a parent about? There are no crawlers - all kids there walk. Is this as disgusting as she made it sound?


For the record, If I see DS spit (anywhere), I let him know it's rude and inappropriate. Also, whenever we play on the grass, I remind him to be polite. I did talk to him about this incident and told him will not be allowed to play on the grass today because spitting there is inappropriate, but I am just irked at this other parent.

Which side are you on.

[Deleted]

She got upset because he spit on the grass? Wow. I don't think that is a huge deal. He's four. Sure if you catch him doing it tell him not to, but to yell at someone else's kid about it? That seems out of line.

[StJess80]

It's grass. Who cares if he spits there? It certainly isn't the worst thing on the grass.

To answer: the other mom is rude because of the topic. If your kid were smacking another kid, then I would vote differently. She is just being controlling here.

[ECB]

I find it weird to make issue over a kid spitting while outside.

That being said, if I were to insert another action in place of spitting (hitting, for example) - if I saw a kid hitting another child and their parent wasn't paying attention, I might "yell" at the kid too. There are some behaviors that I feel DO need to be dealt w/ in the moment. Not after the fact and only after their mom was told. It's not going to have the same impact.

BUT - I wouldn't do any of this over spitting.

[kadams767]

Special snowflake. I don't really think it's a big deal if the kid spits on the grass, as long as it's out of the way of the other kids. But I also don't think it's a big deal if another parent steps in and tells a kid not to spit. It's not like she spanked him for it. I can't imagine caring either way, to be honest.

[hellzkitten]

She was rude, IMO. Spitting on a sidewalk wouldn't be OK to me, but in grass where it will be absorbed? NBD. & she should not have yelled at your son.

[fbf2006]

May 15, 2012 13:07:52 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

Special snowflake. I don't really think it's a big deal if the kid spits on the grass, as long as it's out of the way of the other kids. But I also don't think it's a big deal if another parent steps in and tells a kid not to spit. It's not like she spanked him for it. I can't imagine caring either way, to be honest.

I'm with kadams on this. Did the other mum really yell or she just spoke sternly?

[thumper55]

she pretty much yelled...I looked up because of it.

[dr.girlfriend]

Spitting in public really grosses me out, but usually I just cringe inwardly. I probably would intervene directly with a kid if they were doing something really bad (like hitting another kid or something), but not for spitting. That said, if there were a bunch of kids the woman may not have known that you were the parent to talk to. Either way, sounds like she was a little over-the-top, but also if your kid was constantly spitting where other kids play that would be yucky. Who knows, maybe her kid has a deathly peanut allergy and she's freaked out about the potential for peanut-spit, or something. You never know the whole story about these things.

Random fun story. I was on a city bus once, and this mom had like a five year old boy and a three year old girl. The boy had a hammer (like a real metal hammer, not a toy one) and was hammering stuff on the bus, and the mom was looking out the window with her iPod in her ears and pretending not to know them. Finally the five-year-old stood up on the swaying bus, turned the hammer to the claw side, and swung it right at his sister's head. I basically grabbed the hammer away and said, "That's dangerous." The mom proceeded to bitch me out for like three stops about how I'm not their mom, etc. I was like, "Yeah, but he swung the hammer at her HEAD," and she was all, "You don't know my lyfe..." I was scared to give her the hammer back because I thought I'd get it in the head, so I took it home with me, lol.

[ladybug2002]

I wouldn't yell at someone else's kids for spitting, but I also don't have a problem correcting other children or other parents correcting mine for things like hitting or calling names if their parents aren't paying attention.

That said, I think spitting is nasty and I am surprised that other people think it's no big deal. It grosses me out when adults or kids spit where other people are walking or playing.

[h]

The other mom was rude. I think correcting other people's kids should be limited to situations where the child's parent is either not present or is abdicating parental responsibility, or situations where the child has done something that could actually harm himself or another person (and by harm, I mean hitting, biting, etc., not the unlikely possibility that a person could contract a deadly infection from your child's wayward saliva).

[beer]

I will add that is gross for kids to spit in the grass where other kids play. My kid always ends up on the ground - rolling, sitting, playing etc. It would be pretty gross if he sat in spit.
I think it is ok for someone to correct your kid. It is annoying though so I get where you are coming from.

[megs193]

The spitting in the grass thing doesn't bother me but I have definitely yelled at other people's kids if they weren't paying close enough attention to do it. I was at a birthday party this weekend and a girl who looked to be about 5 pushed my 2 year old. The mother wasn't paying any attention so I yelled at the girl and told her it was never ok to push, especially someone much smaller than her. I think the mom was a little annoyed to but imo, she should have been paying enough attention to discipline her own child.

[agnes]

I think it's gross, but she was out of line yelling. If your kid was spitting on other kids I could see yelling as ok.

[nygalinpa]

I hope she doesn't go to public parks since animals pee in the grass there. Yeah spitting is gross, I correct my girls when they do it, but I wouldn't go apepoop crazy if I saw a little kid doing it especially on grass where it is absorbed into the ground. I have corrected other people's kids but never yelled because I think I have some weird mental fine line in my head. yes I can point out bad behavior but I cant yell, KWIM?

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 13:20:28 GMT -5 dr.girlfriend said:

I was scared to give her the hammer back because I thought I'd get it in the head, so I took it home with me, lol.

lol best part.

OP, it's a little weird that she was so upset about spitting in the grass, but I think you're overreacting. It doesn't sound like anything she said was offensive, and I am guessing your "pretty much" yelling means she sternly told your son to stop.

[eddy]

Sister needs to firmly pull the stick out of her ass. Are there really people out there worrying about this crap. NEWS FLASH: A dog probably pissed and pooped in that grass less than 30 minutes ago. Unclench

[nygalinpa]

May 15, 2012 13:20:28 GMT -5 dr.girlfriend said:

Random fun story. I was on a city bus once, and this mom had like a five year old boy and a three year old girl. The boy had a hammer (like a real metal hammer, not a toy one) and was hammering stuff on the bus, and the mom was looking out the window with her iPod in her ears and pretending not to know them. Finally the five-year-old stood up on the swaying bus, turned the hammer to the claw side, and swung it right at his sister's head. I basically grabbed the hammer away and said, "That's dangerous." The mom proceeded to bitch me out for like three stops about how I'm not their mom, etc. I was like, "Yeah, but he swung the hammer at her HEAD," and she was all, "You don't know my lyfe..." I was scared to give her the hammer back because I thought I'd get it in the head, so I took it home with me, lol.

I would LOVE to know what the mom told her friends LOL
"and this bitch took his hammer, just took it!can you believe that?!?"

[chicken]

Yeah, I would rather he spit on the grass than on the sidewalk.

Spitting is kind of gross though. Think of all the diseases and illnesses found in (and spread through) spit.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 13:23:48 GMT -5 @booby said:

BWOOOP BWOOOOOP
BWOOP

BWOOOOP

i think you should be posting this on the sub-board!

LOL. I know you're joking, booby.

But this is how I actually feel.

And spitting is disgusting.

[hannamarin]

Will this Mom come and walk around Toronto and yell at the disgusting spitting adults, please!

[AAM2012]

May 15, 2012 13:31:25 GMT -5 beer said:

I will add that is gross for kids to spit in the grass where other kids play. My kid always ends up on the ground - rolling, sitting, playing etc. It would be pretty gross if he sat in spit. ....

But you're not worried about dog piss or shit?

[Deleted]

I have seen people do a lot worse things on grass then spit.

[locarb]

Agree w/ PP. Unless it was a loogie b/c that's just nasty. LOL.

[GailGoldie]

lots going on here.

a) i think spitting is gross- anywhere- and i'm shocked so many people here think it's OK.... my husband does it now and then and I always tell him how disgusting I think it is. women don't go around spitting so it's not like it's something people NEED to do.

b) i have no problem with someone telling my son to stop doing something that is wrong... BUT it should be done in an appropriate way - not yelling like that and causing a "thing" with others looking, etc. She could have gone over to him and say "hey buddy- please don't spit in the grass- others are playing here and it will get on them".

c) she was weird to then direct you to it that way....

but - in the end i don't think it's a big deal what she did - she just didn't do it in a great way.

[statlerwaldorf]

I think it is weird. I could see saying something to the kid if he were spitting on someone. Spitting grosses me out, but I wouldn't try to parent someone's kid when the parent was right there and they were not affecting someone else.