It bugs the crap out of me when american parents get all aghast to hear about a 2 yo being potty trained, like the kid was tortured to get him to pt SO EARLY.
no. 2 is on time. Just b/c everyone in the us is pting late doesn't make 2 early All of a sudden.
I think it is likely more of a "how?" Mine is over 3 and is not having it. Guess mines broken, eh?
if only it was. It was more like incredulity.
Awe. Kids can be stubborn sometimes. Mine won't wear underwear. And at home he insists on being naked all.the.time.
Have you tried the three day method? That's my only experience with pting.
I love the food one in France (though no snacking at all sounds a little Draconian, but probably is right).
I'd heard this before and recently had a conversation about it with a French mother -- I was mystified as to how their kids didn't get super cranky (since I don't think that's exactly unique to my boys ).
I think they actually DO give snacks, but it's kind of lost in translation. To her, "snacks" = junky prepackaged food (aka "snack food"). They still had "small meals" of crackers/fruit/cheese etc between main meals. But she was adamant that these were not "snacks". *shrug*
Filed under: "American Parents: You're doing it all wrong."
A close variation of "Parents: you're doing it all wrong."
Either way, American media's favorite page hit topic!
From what I remember reading this 1+ years ago, the book is actually more from a point of view that there are so many different ways to parent and you don't have to do everything 100% like your culture bc they all have benefits and drawbacks. It's more of a don't worry if you parent different than those around your POV.
Can I say how tired I am of hearing about the perfection of French children? I'm decently positive that not all French children eat everything. Cuz, you know--they're kids.
The couple who lived below us in Geneva were French. Their three year old screamed for at least an hour every day starting at around 4 am.
It bugs the crap out of me when american parents get all aghast to hear about a 2 yo being potty trained, like the kid was tortured to get him to pt SO EARLY.
no. 2 is on time. Just b/c everyone in the us is pting late doesn't make 2 early All of a sudden.
I think it is likely more of a "how?" Mine is over 3 and is not having it. Guess mines broken, eh?
LOL - I had both my boys mostly day potty trained by 2 and I still can't give advice really. I had very little method bc my kids are very candy motivated and so M&Ms worked. If a kid didn't like candy than I could not potty train.
Scarlett PT'd herself at 15m because she wanted to do what Jackson was doing. I was mad because it meant that I had to make sure we could always be close to a bathroom and she had (and still has) a fascination with using every public bathroom possible.
I preferred putting that off as long as possible, because let's face it, diapers are far easier than having a newly PT'd kid with you. JUST CRAP YOUR PANTS, KID! I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE A FULL GROCERY CART IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE TO GO FIND A BATHROOM.
That's just dumb. If you know a kid is being stolen it's up to EVERYONE to speak up.
By 9 I would hope that you can trust your kid to sit for 30 freaking minutes with an ipad or a book or something and not make a nuisance of him/herself.
Who steals kids from a doctor's lobby? And dude, those exam rooms are tiny. I bet the people in the office wish more children were well behaved enough to be left in the lobby.
And this might get hungry bullshit, STOP FEEDING YOUR KIDS EVERY 20 MINUTES! Also, boredom is part of life. Do you know how bored I've been since giving birth? PTA meetings aren't exactly Guardians of the Galaxy, kid. And there are few things more boring than the waiting room at any kid activity. Dance, cub scouts, chess club, carpool lane. I'm bored has been the refrain of my life since these kids shot out of my vag.
Lobby anecdote time! Two sisters around 12 and 18 were at the hospital/clinics yesterday. The youngest one left with a woman and I didn't think anything of it because they looked comfortable together. Her sister came frantically looking for her ~10 minutes later and I found out that this woman was a stranger that they just met in the pharmacy that was going to give them a ride home. They thought it was a good idea to accept this ride because well, she was black too :?. Who knew if the lady was ill-intentioned, but I didn't let that happen.
I wouldn't be comfortable letting anyone under 14 sit by themselves, and even that is a big maybe. There are too many questionable "friendly" (and sometimes dangerously unstable) people around, and not just where I work which is a relatively high crime area. I think that I've mentioned it before, but the only time that I am ok with people not being with their kids is if it is freezing and they want to pull their car up. Even then I don't let them just sit there out in the open, I make the kids come behind my desk and color/read for the 5 minutes it takes. Anything longer than that and I get uncomfortable being responsible for someone elses kid.
I'm bummed because my hospital was considering adding a free drop-in child care, but couldn't get the funds approved.
Lobby anecdote time! Two sisters around 12 and 18 were at the hospital/clinics yesterday. The youngest one left with a woman and I didn't think anything of it because they looked comfortable together. Her sister came frantically looking for her ~10 minutes later and I found out that this woman was a stranger that they just met in the pharmacy that was going to give them a ride home. They thought it was a good idea to accept this ride because well, she was black too :?. Who knew if the lady was ill-intentioned, but I didn't let that happen.
I wouldn't be comfortable letting anyone under 14 sit by themselves, and even that is a big maybe. There are too many questionable "friendly" (and sometimes dangerously unstable) people around, and not just where I work which is a relatively high crime area. I think that I've mentioned it before, but the only time that I am ok with people not being with their kids is if it is freezing and they want to pull their car up. Even then I don't let them just sit there out in the open, I make the kids come behind my desk and color/read for the 5 minutes it takes. Anything longer than that and I get uncomfortable being responsible for someone elses kid.
I'm bummed because my hospital was considering adding a free drop-in child care, but couldn't get the funds approved.
I hope you don't insist when these children you insist on making you join you for coloring say no, my mom told me to stay here. Because trust me, if you intimidate my children into moving from where I told them to sit without such immediate threats of danger such as fire or rape, you will hear my mouth.
Some concepts, I think, are positive. I would love to live somewhere where I don't have to agonize over a parenting decision not because my gut is telling me it's wrong but because I'm worried some Smuggy Smuggerson is going to call the I'm-A-Better-Parent-Police on me and then blog about it.
Other stuff...makes a good story but that whole diaper-less...well, it's better on paper than in practicality for most of us. And some of these differences are neat to read about but not inherently better. Napping in the stroller in the cold? Well, yeah, my babies have done it. But I've never considered it, like, a benefit or anything. It's just practicality. It's bloody cold here for six months of the year! So, while it's a novelty to some, it's not something inherently superior or beneficial or anything - it's just different, you know?
I don't know. There's always this tone of "here mums - here's how you can do it better" (never dads...apparently they're not expected to be involved) and so reading this, it sort of feeds into that whole "well French children *insert superiority here*" which is sort of silly - different cultures are different. That's kinda what defines them as cultures. We all do it differently but I think you'd be hard pressed to pick out a few novel concepts from any one group and imply anything universal. There's always good and bad.
I thought it was interesting though, whomever pointed out that there is still judgement if you don't do it *that* way. So I mean you can't escape. Because it means that there are plenty of little French children who don't like foie gras. But their parents take shit for it.
No thank you to Spain's and Argentina's late bedtime custom. By 8:00 pm it is party time at Casa Fricative.
See it sounds weird to us but they are going to bed later (the parents). so the kid may go to bed at 9 or 10 and the parent goes to bed at 11 and no one goes to work until 9 or 10. The whole culture is on a different schedule so it works.
when I lived in Spain we had an 18 month old in the house and he went to bed around 930 or 10 (after dinner) and then I think rarely woke up before 8. but I was the only one up at 8 bc I had class.
No thank you to Spain's and Argentina's late bedtime custom. By 8:00 pm it is party time at Casa Fricative.
See it sounds weird to us but they are going to bed later (the parents). so the kid may go to bed at 9 or 10 and the parent goes to bed at 11 and no one goes to work until 9 or 10. The whole culture is on a different schedule so it works.
when I lived in Spain we had an 18 month old in the house and he went to bed around 930 or 10 (after dinner) and then I think rarely woke up before 8. but I was the only one up at 8 bc I had class.
And don't schools and shops and such close for a few hours during the day? You go home, take a nap, and then go back.
Seriously, I was born in the wrong part of the world lol.
@helenabonhamcarter - in Spain they did, I'm not sure about Argentina. But stuff was open from like 9 to 2ish, then everyone ate d"inner" at 230, and stores etc were closed from 3 to 5 and then they reopened adn were open again until 9 or so. Some places were starting to lose this and now it may be very different (this was 10 years ago) and of course the more touristy areas had more "american" hours. It made for a very different pace of life though, so kids being awake and out and about at 9 or 10 was not as side-eye worthy as it would be here.
Lobby anecdote time! Two sisters around 12 and 18 were at the hospital/clinics yesterday. The youngest one left with a woman and I didn't think anything of it because they looked comfortable together. Her sister came frantically looking for her ~10 minutes later and I found out that this woman was a stranger that they just met in the pharmacy that was going to give them a ride home. They thought it was a good idea to accept this ride because well, she was black too :?. Who knew if the lady was ill-intentioned, but I didn't let that happen.
I wouldn't be comfortable letting anyone under 14 sit by themselves, and even that is a big maybe. There are too many questionable "friendly" (and sometimes dangerously unstable) people around, and not just where I work which is a relatively high crime area. I think that I've mentioned it before, but the only time that I am ok with people not being with their kids is if it is freezing and they want to pull their car up. Even then I don't let them just sit there out in the open, I make the kids come behind my desk and color/read for the 5 minutes it takes. Anything longer than that and I get uncomfortable being responsible for someone elses kid.
I'm bummed because my hospital was considering adding a free drop-in child care, but couldn't get the funds approved.
I hope you don't insist when these children you insist on making you join you for coloring say no, my mom told me to stay here. Because trust me, if you intimidate my children into moving from where I told them to sit without such immediate threats of danger such as fire or rape, you will hear my mouth.
Lol no. Wrong word choice on my end. The only reason I know that they are going to go get their car is because they ask if I will watch their kids. I offer the space beside me, and they are never anything but grateful.
Post by cattledogkisses on Aug 13, 2014 10:21:00 GMT -5
I'm glad that parents are validating my non-parent opinion that disallowing your child from waiting in an office or lobby by themselves until they are high school aged is a little crazy.
I'm glad that parents are validating my non-parent opinion that disallowing your child from waiting in an office or lobby by themselves until they are high school aged is a little crazy.
People forget that their children are expected to do shit like this for 8 hours a day. If your kid goes to school, then you kids knows how to stay where they are supposed to stay and occupy themselves in that place despite their boredom.
If I can't trust my 13 year old to sit by themselves and be safe somewhere I have failed as a parent, no matter what country we live in. How can you expect a kid to go from not being allowed by themselves in a lobby at 14 to going to college 3 years later?? Lol, this is why we have the helicopter parent generation.
It bugs the crap out of me when american parents get all aghast to hear about a 2 yo being potty trained, like the kid was tortured to get him to pt SO EARLY.
no. 2 is on time. Just b/c everyone in the us is pting late doesn't make 2 early All of a sudden.
Evenyone thinks I'm nuts for wanting to do EC with our baby. :-( As if babies enjoy sitting in their own filth and getting diaper rash.
It bugs the crap out of me when american parents get all aghast to hear about a 2 yo being potty trained, like the kid was tortured to get him to pt SO EARLY.
no. 2 is on time. Just b/c everyone in the us is pting late doesn't make 2 early All of a sudden.
Evenyone thinks I'm nuts for wanting to do EC with our baby. As if babies enjoy sitting in their own filth and getting diaper rash.
I keep trying to write a response to this but I'm having trouble.
If I can't trust my 13 year old to sit by themselves and be safe somewhere I have failed as a parent, no matter what country we live in. How can you expect a kid to go from not being allowed by themselves in a lobby at 14 to going to college 3 years later?? Lol, this is why we have the helicopter parent generation.
In all fairness, there are some countries where you wouldn't leave a 13 year old alone, especially a girl.
It bugs the crap out of me when american parents get all aghast to hear about a 2 yo being potty trained, like the kid was tortured to get him to pt SO EARLY.
no. 2 is on time. Just b/c everyone in the us is pting late doesn't make 2 early All of a sudden.
Evenyone thinks I'm nuts for wanting to do EC with our baby. As if babies enjoy sitting in their own filth and getting diaper rash.
UMaineTeach, respectfully, I think that's a bit of revisionist history. The question was whether it's rude to expect dental receptionists to watch your five year old kid. It is rude, I stand by it. Most of the 5 year olds I know alone for an hour in a dentist's lobby would eventually require some sort of attending, and attending to 5 year olds in a lobby isn't a receptionist's job. Sure blah blah everyone should stop an active kidnapping, but that wasn't the sole debate (from my end).
I think it is a unity horse, however, that the French need to STFU about being French and their stupid bouillabaisse-eating toddlers. SHUT UP.
Random, but I read and dropped this book in the bathtub from the library, so I bought it.
It's a good read, but I'm pretty relaxed about parenting to begin with. I think it would be awesome to live in another country for a year or two as a parent of younger kids to get more perspective.
So much this! We took DD1 on her first trip when she was 2 and we went to a resort in Mexico. At approximately 8PM every night, she had a meltdown that led us to have to evacuate wherever we were and get her to the room as soon as possible. So, our night ended prematurely every.single.night despite the fact that all the European parents (we were one of very few families from the US there) were out lounging, drinking, laughing and generally being fabulous WHILE their multiple kids slept in strollers all around them. After two nights of watching with envy, we tried it with DD and let's just say it did not go well.
I like how not doing EC (which is training the parents not the child, sorrynotsorry) = sitting in their own filth and getting diaper rashes.
Between two kids, I've had to deal with diaper rash exactly once.
Wait, so you're supposed to change the diaper more than 1x/day?
Well, I don't know about that... maybe my kids just had extraordinarily tough butt skin? That would be good considering Scarlett would wallow all over a nasty public toilet if I let her.
And honestly, we used cloth and my baby still wasn't terribly phased about "sitting in her own filth." She's a baby FFS. Her sense if bodily propriety was not finely attuned.
We also had very few diaper rashes.
Do EC fine. But don't say "it's for the baaaaabbbbbbyyyy." It's for you and you know it.