Potty training and moving from a crib to a bed are the two parenting milestones I dread and will wait as long as humanely possible on. If my kids would still be in a crib at 5 I would be so happy. Waking up to find those little eyes staring at you in the middle of the night takes years off my life . YEARS.
Is this a guarantee? I mean, is a kid who will wake up in their bed and scream or just play happily in their room a unicorn? Or do you have to lock them in? Baby gate the door?
We have a short flight of stairs between our rooms, so I really want to try to prevent this. If I can't, may as well keep the hallway well lit.
I haven't had this issue with any of mine, mostly because they all sleep like the dead lol
ETA: Oh I lied. All of the sudden I just recalled that my oldest used to leave his room in the middle of the night and go through my kitchen like it was an all night diner. Then he'd bring his ill gotten gains back to his bedroom where he'd behave like a high schooler on mischief night. We eventually got those door chimes, the ones you hear when you enter a business and stuck them on his door. (home depot has them. I mean seriously, if you have toddlers who sneak out, go get them! They stick to the door jamb with tape and come off when they outgrow the need to sneak about.)
No one thinks EC hurts a kid. No one at all. We just all think people who have access to diapers, cloth or otherwise and the means to dispose or clean them properly and yet choose to EC have a serious desire to waste their own time and be at their child's beck and call all day.
But you're the asshole who is asserting that diapering is harmful to babies.
I mean shit, when I wear shoes, my feet get smelly, sweaty, sometimes blistered, calloused, or cramped. Should I consider not wearing shoes ever? I mean SOMETIMES UNCOMFORTABLE THINGS HAPPEN, PEOPLE!
It's harmful AND has "side effects" Helena!! I think that must be like ingredients?
We potty trained our twins over the weekend they turned 3, using the three day method. We thought we handled it like a boss, ok. Then I was like shiiiiiiit, I have to be at a bathroom the second either one of these two need to go. I just fucked myself here So I had to have that travel potty for the car.
I am laughing thinking of trying to hold them over a trash can or gutter. At 9 months.
Ds is older but he potty trained way late than the girls. He loved his own filth I think. I'll ask.
Also, babies don't know their filth is gross. Anyone who has potty trained a toddler and seen how delighted they are to paint the walls with their poop knows this.
Lol older ds never did this as a baby. Then when my twins were little, one morning I went into their room and saw brown in the crib. It took a second to realize what I was looking at, and another half second to get dh in there to clean up after them (I don't do shit, if it gets on shoes, they get thrown out unless dh cleans them, it's just my thing, I can't deal. I can change a diaper, I just can't deal with shit when it's where it doesn't belong).
I told mil about it and she was like oh yeah my kids always did that, I was like you're nasty, your kids are nasty and your grand girls are nasty!!!
But then I realized it's common and ds was just rare for not doing it. Kids, man.
Maybe we should do a PSA campaign about how diapers are awesome and potty training is overrated. SAVE THE MOMS PUSHING PT'ING AND COMPETING TO BE THE FIRST!!!!
I'm in a local mom group on facebook and they are all SAHM and I swear they are competing to be the first to PT. I get that some 18 month olds are ready, but 50% of a group of 30? One person asks about potties and the responses are all "oh, this potty has great reviews on Amazon" or "so and so bought this one" and the chorus of "Oh, I think little Bravery/Austin/Everrett is also ready to PT."
It comes off as a competition, and/or new activity. I don't get it!
Potty training and moving from a crib to a bed are the two parenting milestones I dread and will wait as long as humanely possible on. If my kids would still be in a crib at 5 I would be so happy. Waking up to find those little eyes staring at you in the middle of the night takes years off my life . YEARS.
Yup. Ds was out of his crib at 18 months. Climbing out, unzipping the crib tent. Ok kid. You win.
My girl twins? They are four but just this past January they were just 3.5 but still happily in their cribs. Dh was all oh let's put them in big girl beds! Ok dh are you sure? Yup!
Ok, guess who is in charge of the overnights here now that they can get up whenever they fancy? Hint: it's not me
I think silly goose girl is going to be so so sadly surprised when she experiences some of the many OTHER rashes babies get. The grossness that is babies' skin sometimes was a massive surprise to me when I had my first. Cradle cap, baby acne, eczema, drool rash--they don't show you that shit in a Baby Gap ad!
Diapers are totally the only reason I haven't taken my kids backpacking yet.
Hbc reminds me of people who PT because they don't want "two in diapers". A was 21 mo when J was born. Having him in diapers has made this first year about 11ty billion times easier. Two in diapers is a PITA because you have two young kids. The actual diapers are the easiest part.
Someone's going to send up the bat signal when she tells us how this trip went, yes?
A is stealth MOTN. My only saving grace is his door sticks, so it usually wakes me up. But now if I wake up for any reason I think I might have heard his door and I have to check all corners of the room in case he's just standing there silently.
One of the best things about vacation was sleeping without creepy kid anxiety.
Post by jeaniebueller on Aug 14, 2014 10:13:22 GMT -5
Also the comment about backpacking makes me think she is in denial about what a life changer the first year of having a kid is.
And on the topic of PTing, when we were towards the end of PTing DS, we were on a road trip and about 20 minutes until we were home. DS was in a pull up. Suddenly DS realized he had to poop, but wouldn't go in the pull up and screamed his fool head off until we got home. There was nowhere to stop so we just had to listen to him. I should have just hung his naked ass out the window, amirite?
Not to be all rainy on the paradey but I love that my DD is PTd now!!! I was getting fucking tired of washing and stuffing diapers though!!!! PT4lyfe!!
LOL. This is why disposables are even more awesome! I'm a CD dropoout after he kept getting rashes and we had to go back and forth with desitin; it just got to be too much of a PITA. That's what happens with a 3-4 time a day pooper. Plus, he has super chunky thighs so we couldn't use half of his wardrobe with the extra bulk.
I may try it again if there were another kid though; but I can see how 2+ years of washing and stuffing would get old, so I'm not sure I'd last past 9 - 10 months.
I made almost 2.5 years and then I was like fuck it. The last two months of her diaper wearing existence was in disposables. I just couldn't take the stuffing anymore.
I wouldn't be comfortable letting anyone under 14 sit by themselves, and even that is a big maybe.
Do you have children? Because you need to see a developmental psychologist about setting appropriate boundaries if/when you have them.
I'm not even joking.
This issue is raised in a book I'm reading, and I just had a good conversation with my psychologist last night about this very topic. Parents who over-shelter their children like this create anxious adults who cannot function outside of a narrow safety zone. Exposure to all manner of environments that encourage responsibility and independence is crucial to a child's development.
If you will only MAYBE let a 14-year-old sit somewhere alone, then you are parenting wrong. This isn't a matter of different parenting choices. This is a matter of actual psychological health.
(Also, super late to this thread, but damn, it got awesome. Thanks, CEP.)
Post by lasagnasshole on Aug 14, 2014 13:34:27 GMT -5
Also, I keep coming back to this ludicrous idea of not letting a 12-year-old sit alone.
I can't be the only one who was BABYSITTING at 12, can I? I mean, I didn't sit for any infants at 12, but I sat for a couple of families from my church with kids aged 3ish-7ish.
I ordered pizza. We watched a movie. I washed our plates and put the leftovers in the fridge. I told the kids to brush their teeth and put on their PJs. They went to bed. And then I watched cable since I didn't have it at home.
Good LORD to the idea that I wouldn't have been old enough to sit alone in a waiting room.
Also, I keep coming back to this ludicrous idea of not letting a 12-year-old sit alone.
I can't be the only one who was BABYSITTING at 12, can I? I mean, I didn't sit for any infants at 12, but I sat for a couple of families from my church with kids aged 3ish-7ish.
I ordered pizza. We watched a movie. I washed our plates and put the leftovers in the fridge. I told the kids to brush their teeth and put on their PJs. They went to bed. And then I watched cable since I didn't have it at home.
Good LORD to the idea that I wouldn't have been old enough to sit alone in a waiting room.
I babysat at twelve. Usually for families with three kids. I'd get there and they'd be on their way to bed or in bed and I'd be there until about 2 in the morning. The youngest were toddlers. By the time I was 15, I was watching infants.
My oldest is nearly 13 and I leave him at home with the other two while I run errands. Probably about four hours at a time total. Is someone going to call CPS on me?
At 10, I was left all manner of places on my own, including riding my bike up to them by myself. The library, the pool, the dollar store, etc.
Also, I keep coming back to this ludicrous idea of not letting a 12-year-old sit alone.
I can't be the only one who was BABYSITTING at 12, can I? I mean, I didn't sit for any infants at 12, but I sat for a couple of families from my church with kids aged 3ish-7ish.
I ordered pizza. We watched a movie. I washed our plates and put the leftovers in the fridge. I told the kids to brush their teeth and put on their PJs. They went to bed. And then I watched cable since I didn't have it at home.
Good LORD to the idea that I wouldn't have been old enough to sit alone in a waiting room.
Post by Velar Fricative on Aug 14, 2014 13:40:43 GMT -5
There are MANY 14- and 15-year-old high school freshmen here who take the bus or subway to school. ZOMG. But damned if we let them sit in a doctor's office unattended.
Also the comment about backpacking makes me think she is in denial about what a life changer the first year of having a kid is.
And on the topic of PTing, when we were towards the end of PTing DS, we were on a road trip and about 20 minutes until we were home. DS was in a pull up. Suddenly DS realized he had to poop, but wouldn't go in the pull up and screamed his fool head off until we got home. There was nowhere to stop so we just had to listen to him. I should have just hung his naked ass out the window, amirite?
what are you talking about? There has totally been backpacking in my household since Shorti was born. MH went like twice last year and has gone 3 times this year. Without me. Or the kid. Oh...
We have talked about the possibility of backpacking with her - but it would require an absurd outlay of funds on superlight/super minimal gear so that MH could carry all his shit, plus most of my shit, (like both of our sleeping bags.) plus baby shit so that I can carry the baby and whatever remaining items fit in our fancy pants baby hiking backpack. (we do have a very nice one - handmedown from my sister, originally a gift from my mom who went hogwild at the REI in Denver) Used diapers would be a bitch to carry around - and thus are in fact one of the many issues with backpacking with small kids - but they certainly aren't the first dealbreaker in the equation.
Now if you're an ECer AND you already have that kind of superlight gear (or a spouse that can hike with a really fucking heavy bag) it honestly might have been doable last summer when she was itsy bitsy - thus lighter and EBF. Though the hiking style packs don't really work for small infants anyway. But there was a sweet spot in there when it would have been workable. Of course for us that sweet spot was in december. But now that she's mobile and likes to walk her damnself around - no way in hell. It'd be miserable. Maybe if you each carried your normal load - plus baby stuff - and then one of you wore the baby in a front carry? Like with a moby or woven? You'd have to put the backpack on and then weave the carrier under the bag but on top of the chest strap...that might work? Or for a toddler the size shorti is now just hike REALLY REALLY slowly and let the kid walk too and/or take turns carrying in arms. Just dont' trip.
I know MH googled this topic and did a bunch of reading about it and found that yes - diapers are one of the first issues that come to mind, but that the rest of the logistical questions are so overwhelming as to make it kinda moot.
Also, I keep coming back to this ludicrous idea of not letting a 12-year-old sit alone.
I can't be the only one who was BABYSITTING at 12, can I? I mean, I didn't sit for any infants at 12, but I sat for a couple of families from my church with kids aged 3ish-7ish.
I ordered pizza. We watched a movie. I washed our plates and put the leftovers in the fridge. I told the kids to brush their teeth and put on their PJs. They went to bed. And then I watched cable since I didn't have it at home.
Good LORD to the idea that I wouldn't have been old enough to sit alone in a waiting room.
I was a nanny the summer I was 11. I watched three kids, ages 1, 4 and 6. I did this M-F, 7am-6pm.
Now, I would likely not leave my 1 year old with an 11 year old. But I happily pay my husband's BFF's 14 year old to watch her while we go to dinner and a movie.
Also, I keep coming back to this ludicrous idea of not letting a 12-year-old sit alone.
I can't be the only one who was BABYSITTING at 12, can I? I mean, I didn't sit for any infants at 12, but I sat for a couple of families from my church with kids aged 3ish-7ish.
I ordered pizza. We watched a movie. I washed our plates and put the leftovers in the fridge. I told the kids to brush their teeth and put on their PJs. They went to bed. And then I watched cable since I didn't have it at home.
Good LORD to the idea that I wouldn't have been old enough to sit alone in a waiting room.
I think I was just about to turn 13 when I started watching infants. Granted this was a family I had already been sitting for for over a year when they had another baby. So I was in charge of a five year old, a two year old and a six week old. Boy were the 90's even a completely different time.
The Baby-Sitters Club was full of 13- and 11-year-olds and they often babysat infants.
I should add that I didn't WANT to babysit for infants. I'm the youngest with no younger cousins. I was terrified of infants. I have changed a diaper once, and it didn't go well. LOL.
Post by penguingrrl on Aug 14, 2014 13:59:38 GMT -5
I babysat starting at 11. I would put the 6 and 4 year old kids I sat for to bed after pizza and a movie and I'd hang out and most likely doze off until the parents came home drunk at 2 am. And the dad would then walk me home alone and nobody thought twice about any of it!
The Baby-Sitters Club was full of 13- and 11-year-olds and they often babysat infants.
I should add that I didn't WANT to babysit for infants. I'm the youngest with no younger cousins. I was terrified of infants. I have changed a diaper once, and it didn't go well. LOL.
My MIL had to show me how to change a diaper in the hospital when my first was born. I never babysat diaper-aged kids lol!
I babysat starting at 11. I would put the 6 and 4 year old kids I sat for to bed after pizza and a movie and I'd hang out and most likely doze off until the parents came home drunk at 2 am. And the dad would then walk me home alone and nobody thought twice about any of it!
This was pretty much exactly my experience too. Watch a movie or play some board games, put kids to bed, eat snack that parents left for me and watch tv/doze off, parents come home and the dad would drive me home.
The Baby-Sitters Club was full of 13- and 11-year-olds and they often babysat infants.
I really shouldn't be surprised though. You have parents now who won't let their OWN PARENTS babysit for them lest grandma gives the kid some non-organic juice.
**yes, I realize some parents are fucking nutters, alcoholics, child molesters, etc. I'm not referring to those people, I swear. I'm referring solely to those who stick so narrowly to their parenting ideal at all times that no one, not grandma, not the church nursery, not the SAHM next door, not a background checked sitter from care.com can watch their child for even 20 minutes.