Nanny - live in or live out?

[geneg]

We've arrived in DC and are now trying to arrange child care for our kiddos (just turned 1 and 3). DH is looking for a job and will likely end up with a home office and maybe 30% travel. I work shift and 33% are overnights. Traditional 7-5 daycare won't work and a nanny will likely be best. But the question is: live in or out? We used a VERY flexible in home daycare before but doubt we'd have such luck again. We have an extra bedroom so there is space for live in. And that would help with the overnight and out of town times. But DH will likely need to work from home and can't be distracted by kids and we worry that a live in might make his work suffer. Would love some advice from those with nannies.

Thanks.

[hannamaren]

We are going for live out. I cannot imagine sharing my space unless they had a separate entrance, own kitchen or something. I want to be able to be messy, lazy on my day off and have sex in the living room when my kids are sleeping. Ha

[definitelyO]

we had a live out. but we had a standard schedule of 8-4 and worked out of the home. a live in would have been too much for us even though we have the room - just didn't want anyone there all the time... our friends have an au pair and they have a living suite downstairs for her (bed, bath, sitting area). they really like it and take the au pair everywhere with them.

[geneg]

We have a finished basement and a full bath there, but no kitchen. I think I,d rather have a live out, but since I have afternoon and overnight shifts, having a live in is appealing. Is there much of a cost difference?

[ECB]

I think cost is going to come into play depending on hours. If the nanny is living in, there may be a bit of a blurring of lines when it comes to her official duties, when she's owrking, when she's off, etc. If you had an "in law suite" including a kitchen where she could really go off on her own, a live in might make sense. But if you have to share common areas - I'd honestly try to find someone who is fine spending the night when needed, but would otherwise go home.

[h]

I would do live out. A live in nanny sounds really unappealing to me--I just wouldn't want someone around 24/7. But if cost is a factor, a live in au pair would probably be a lot cheaper than a traditional live out nanny.

[GailGoldie]

i have a couple friends with au pairs that live in... some great experiences- and some horror stories... but it's the same with live-out nannies, too.

i know i could never have another person living in my home ... but my one friend loves it. It's a personal choice for sure.

[Deleted]

I want a live in. "Sharing the kitchen" is fine when they're cooking me supper. It's also a lot cheaper because room/board counts towards their compensation.

I think I'm biased because we've had a roommate in our basement since we bought our house. So a nanny would take up less room than he would, and she'd do more for me. I will seriously consider one (probably from the Phillipines because of incentives we have where I live) after baby #2.

[ijack]

we've had quite a few friends who've had au pairs and they love it. definitely cheaper!

[CloudBee]

I wouldn't want to share my home. The guest room can be used for overnights when needed, and weekends if you want them to house sit.

[egishere]

I would look into an au pair. I think it will be hard to find someone who can stay over sometimes.

[SusanBAnthony]

Depending on the person, I don't know why overnights would be a problem for a live out as long as she could sleep in the spare room. You would have to find the right person, someone who didn't mind the odd schedule, but that will be true whether it is live in or out. I don't know the pay difference between them, though.