Psych tomorrow

[mel]

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I am nervous because I have not seem her in quite awhile, am currently not on meds, and I have some topics I want to approach with her. First, I don't agree with the bipolar diagnosis. Depression and anxiety...yes. Bipolar? No. And I really want that diagnosis off of my record. Second...meds. It's the combo of mood stabilizers and antidepressants that make me so out of it and then I have the Adderrall so that I can function when I am feeling out of it. It's not fair to me to keep me drugged up on a bunch of meds to balance the others. Third...my stress level is going to temporarily increase with the custody case and I want her to be aware of that and know that I'm going to my therapy and I don't need to be messing around with a bunch of different medications/side effects at the same time. I only want to try one medication at a time. And lastly...I really want to have another baby. Not right this minute but I plan to try in about 6 months. I got pregnant on the first month trying with DS so I want to have a plan in place so that the meds I'm on are safe during TTC and pregnancy.

I have a therapy appointment scheduled for tomorrow too so we can talk about how the psych appointment went there.

[SwimDeep]

I think it's great that you have a therapy session scheduled for the day after your psych appointment! And I think you have a lot of valid things you want to talk about. If it were me, I'd have all my questions/concerns written down in a notebook, and I would bring a pen with me so I could take notes (I struggle with short-term memory sometimes, especially if the information I'm trying to comprehend is technical/foreign).

I don't know how concerned I would be with having another child. It is definitely something your doctor needs to be aware of, but I feel like the focus right now should be on the upcoming custody case.
I also want to have children (not in six months, but soon). My psychiatrist started me on Lexapro (which can be dangerous during 3rd-tri). I'll probably have to wean off of it before getting pregnant, but right now my focus is on finishing school, and the Lexapro is really helping me!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should definitely bring your questions and concerns up with your doctor, and don't let her push anything on you that you know you don't want, but also try to keep an open mind in order to truly consider her suggestions.

I hope the appointment goes well!

[mel]

The appt went well. She was not at all pushy about anything which was nice. We discussed medications and she agreed to leave me off of them for now since therapy seems to be working for me. She did suggest supplementing Vitamin D and Vitamin B12. She said that the Vitamin D would be helpful for mood and the Vitamin B12 would be helpful for energy. We agreed that I would go back on medications if my mood starts to go back down so this is like a trial run. She gave me some good tips on ways to prepare for this custody case as well. She also mentioned something that may be contributing to my fatigue and depression, interestingly enough. I have always had very low blood pressure (90's/60's consistently) but lately it's been falling even lower. Today when she checked it it was only 86/59 (even after taking adderall). She thinks the low blood pressure may be contributing to my constant fatigue and that the constant fatigue may be contributing to my depression.

We talked about the bipolar diagnosis and she said even though I've never had a manic episode that bipolar is a spectrum disorder and that my irritability and mood swings between normal and depression can be on the spectrum. I felt better about that.

As far as baby #2 goes, I'm for sure waiting until this custody case is settled. I don't foresee it being dragged out since CPS is involved. I also need to do some things to both mentally and physically prepare for TTC so I don't expect that to happen for at least 6 months but it is something that I absolutely want to do. My family does not feel complete without a second child but I want to be sure that custody with DS is settled and that I'm mentally in a good place. She agreed with my plan.

[flex]

yay for Vitamin D! I was skeptical at first about it, but it really does work.

Sounds like things are moving forward in a positive direction. Kudos to you for being proactive! ((hugs))

[mel]

flex I didn't really think about the Vitamin D thing until you mentioned it. I'm certainly willing to give it a try.

Antigua was such a turning point for me for some reason. I wish I could pinpoint exactly what it was. I'm assuming it's because for the first time in my adult life I took control of my life. While I can't control others actions, I can control my responses and my reactions and how I let things affect me. It clicked that I need plans in place in order to feel in control. For example, I had plans in place for each day while I was in Antigua and I was really living in the moment and choosing to not let my mom's negative thoughts affect me and I was choosing to trust the concierge in her recommendations. I'm translating that here back I'm the real world by choosing to trust my attorney in the custody case, planning out the positive coping mechanisms that I'm going to use when things get tough, putting my faith in a higher power, choosing not to let fear of the unknown paralyze me, and trusting my support system. I'm hoping that these good feelings continue.

[btay]

Sounds like you have a great plan in place.

[Deleted]

Aug 20, 2014 11:33:05 GMT -5 mel said:

I'm translating that here back I'm the real world by choosing to trust my attorney in the custody case, planning out the positive coping mechanisms that I'm going to use when things get tough, putting my faith in a higher power, choosing not to let fear of the unknown paralyze me, and trusting my support system. I'm hoping that these good feelings continue.

It's a relief not to have to be in charge, isn't it?  My biggest issues are those of controlling.  Evereeeething!  Letting go and letting God is so much easier, on our minds and our bodies.  Happy that you are feeling good!