Babies in glasses - Updated

[BAMFMrsB]

Just kind of lamenting right now.

DS is supposed to wear glasses. He has refused since he was ~13mo. He rips them off and will not wear them. For a while he would hold them in a deathgrip and not let us have them back. It's a very obvious power struggle. Plus, he's TWO.

So we saw the eye doc on Friday. DS was his usual "go eff yourself" attitude re: the glasses so his doc gave us eye drops to put in every 4 days that basically dialate his eyes and make his vision blurry. (wilted) The 'cure' is to wear his glasses so he can see. Put in drops last night and he will now wear the glasses mayyyyyyyyyybe 2 min at a time. We've tried letting him 'Watch Olaf' or 'Watch Let it Go' (Frozen = baby crack) on the iPhone and it seems to distract him in to keeping them on. For all of  2 minutes.

THEN we tried to take the phone away and insist he can have it back IF he wears the glasses. Lesson # 2274 in life. Negotiating with terrorists gets you NOWHERE.



I handed him and his glasses off to his teachers this morning and said "If you can get him to wear them while he uses the computer, I call that a victory for TODAY!" (They have a new touch-screen in there and DS loves it.) They both seemed confident they can get him to wear them. HOOOOOOOKAY. Lemme know how that works out for you. He wore them for the 5 min I was explaining to the teachers and kept them on while he started breakfast, so we'll see what they have to say at pick-up.

Wish me luck.

UPDATE: So nearly all day, he wore the glasses in school. His teachers said he had a bit of a time taking them off, they'd just say "Charming.... ^o)" and he'd put them back on (or they'd help him) and he was ok with THEM. The DC has a bi-weekly update/newsletter with "this is what we did in class today!" with pics and info. In EVERY one DS had his glasses on.

I pick him up, we walk out the door, and he rips the glasses off. I try again and again at home to have him wear them, and he screams, flails, hits his head on the ground in a tantrum.  He will NOT wear them for US, but he'll wear them in school.

Taking it ONE DAY at a time, here.

Today, I dropped him off in class, popped on the glasses, and he sat down to eat breakfast and was totally fine.  

It's an obvious power struggle, and we're just doing the best we can and going to take this battle day by day. We go back to the eye doc in 1 month to reassess.

[jeaniebueller]

Good luck! That sounds like such a pain. I am sure most of it is just his age and hopefully it will click and he'll get it. How about a rewards chart?

[cep1976]

Good luck. My daughter is the same age as your son and has had glasses for about 4 months now. Initially she wore them all the time, but now she's tending to take them off some.

I think we had great luck at first because her vision was so poor, she didn't know what things were supposed to look like. She had no frame of reference for the world. Now that she does, she'll take them off when she's bored or tired, but mostly she's still very good about it. It probably helps that H and I both have glasses, though we do wear contacts frequently, and that probably confuses her that sometimes she sees us with glasses and sometimes without.

She is nearsighted and has a terrible astigmatism, so she really needs them to see properly. She actually didn't walk before she got them - would only take a few steps here or there - and started walking full time within a week of getting them. Her gross motor development sped way, way, way up after she got them.

But in a case where the glasses aren't as necessary to actually see the world, I can see how it would be a terrible power struggle to keep them on.

[BAMFMrsB]

Aug 26, 2014 9:15:23 GMT -5 cep1976 said:

What makes me so nuts is that we ALL wear glasses. EVERYone in DS' family from parents to grandparents wear glasses ALL the time. None of us can see well without them.

DS has crossed eyes (strabismus) and he's far-sighted, and he will need to wear glasses to correct this until he's a teen and then POOF. No more glasses. Supppppposably. *-) We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

[cep1976]

Aug 26, 2014 9:25:57 GMT -5 BAMFMrsB said:

Aug 26, 2014 9:15:23 GMT -5 cep1976 said:

What makes me so nuts is that we ALL wear glasses. EVERYone in DS' family from parents to grandparents wear glasses ALL the time. None of us can see well without them.

DS has crossed eyes (strabismus) and he's far-sighted, and he will need to wear glasses to correct this until he's a teen and then POOF. No more glasses. Supppppposably. *-) We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.    

Yeah, I'd be super frustrated if I were you. Especially since he needs the glasses to correct the strabismus.

Sounds like it's likely largely personality based, and you may just be in for a struggle until he's a bit older. Which sucks, I realize. I hope the drops help! And maybe daycare will have some luck. My kid does all kinds of stuff for daycare she won't do for us at home.

[BAMFMrsB]

Aug 26, 2014 9:54:33 GMT -5 cep1976 said:

Aug 26, 2014 9:25:57 GMT -5 BAMFMrsB said:

What makes me so nuts is that we ALL wear glasses. EVERYone in DS' family from parents to grandparents wear glasses ALL the time. None of us can see well without them.

DS has crossed eyes (strabismus) and he's far-sighted, and he will need to wear glasses to correct this until he's a teen and then POOF. No more glasses. Supppppposably. *-) We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.    

Yeah, I'd be super frustrated if I were you. Especially since he needs the glasses to correct the strabismus.

Sounds like it's likely largely personality based, and you may just be in for a struggle until he's a bit older. Which sucks, I realize. I hope the drops help! And maybe daycare will have some luck. My kid does all kinds of stuff for daycare she won't do for us at home.

VERY much so. He's Charming, but SO 'spirited'. He wants to do things HIS way. And I get it. HE'S TWWWWWWWWWWO. I really think we could go to war if he was THREE but at 2 he just doesn't get that wearing glasses = seeing better = NO FREAKING EYE SURGERY. Because he's TWO!

I really want to be mad at his doc for suggesting surgery instead of letting DS figure this out. But Doc is all "time is of the essence!" now. Blergh. I wish we could let DS ride it out until it 'clicked' because obviously it does at some point. All of us kids (hi, me, DH) who wore glasses as kids eventually realize "I can READ if I wear my glasses!" but by then you're like 5.

DH had eye surgery at 2ish and 4, I believe, for the same issues. He's all "meh, I don't remember it" but I don't want my baby to have surgery if we can avoid it. This is what I mean when I say "negotiating with terrorists". DS just does not yet understand. DH' eyes were much worse than DS, FWIW.


ETA: the 2 minutes he wore his glasses last night:

Attachment Deleted

[fbf2006]

I hope he wears it for daycare. The glasses look so cute on him too!!

[asoctoberfalls]

He's adorable! My DS wears glasses, and everyone always comments on them. I don't have any suggestions for how to get him to keep them on though. I totally feel your pain - my son is "spirited" as well. Fortunately, he likes his glasses and throws a fit if I forget to put them on.

[cep1976]

He's so cute, and looks pretty annoyed about the glasses, lol. I think he's got the same ones as my daughter, just a different color. Her's are a lighter brown. Actually after we got them, we realized that we all (me, H, she) essentially had the same pair of glasses.

Here she is when we put them on her for the first time and she realized what the world should look like, instead of just being a fuzzy blur:
*poof*

[Deleted]

How frustrating. Maybe daycare will be able to get him to wear them. They do tend to have success in areas parents don't sometimes.

But I have to say when I saw the title babies in glasses I just thought, sooooo cute lol. Super helpful I know.

[soozy87]

My younger cousin wears glasses that are more like swimming goggles. He is a little bit older than your kid, but they really seemed to work for him and his family. He felt cool because they were more like super hero glasses. He could still take them off but it wasn't like they would fall off. Maybe not an option now but maybe when he is slightly older.

[lynn07]

I can't tell from the pic, are they Miraflex glasses? I only ask because for DS (who was 15 months when he got them), I think having them strapped to his head helped him to feel like they were a little more nonnegotiable.

Fwiw, DS did have surgery at just over 2 years old to correct his strabismus. I HATED sending him back to surgery But it went perfectly, and the eye is so much stronger now because of it. He still has to wear glasses (also until that *magical* age where supposedly, hopefully he won't need them anymore), but we go to the eye clinic every 3 months, and it's obvious how much surgery helped that eye. GL!

[CloudBee]

More baby glasses pictures!

[BAMFMrsB]

Aug 26, 2014 11:30:32 GMT -5 lynn07 said:

I can't tell from the pic, are they Miraflex glasses? I only ask because for DS (who was 15 months when he got them), I think having them strapped to his head helped him to feel like they were a little more nonnegotiable.

Fwiw, DS did have surgery at just over 2 years old to correct his strabismus. I HATED sending him back to surgery But it went perfectly, and the eye is so much stronger now because of it. He still has to wear glasses (also until that *magical* age where supposedly, hopefully he won't need them anymore), but we go to the eye clinic every 3 months, and it's obvious how much surgery helped that eye. GL!

Yes, Miraxflex with the 'headband' on. DS' are charcoal grey. We tried them without the band on there but they would slide off his face. They seem more effective with it on.

I know surgery isn't BAD but I don't want to do it. We obviously WILL if his eye doc says so, but I really wish DS would just be able to have more time to understand the importance

Hopefully DC has better luck. His pupils are just HUGE right now with those eye drops in so it can't be easy to see without the glasses!

[magpie]

Aww, he's so cute. I think babies in glasses are the cutest!

I'm sorry that he's having such a hard time learning to wear them. Good luck.

[BAMFMrsB]

UPDATE in original post. Le sigh.

[lilac05]

Daycare teachers work miracles...and kids are great at knowing which of their parents' buttons to push. It's a deadly combination for moms!

Can you just ignore the glasses situation at home for a few days and see if you can kind of "reset" both of your attitudes towards him wearing glasses at home? Then, when you try again, pretend like you don't really care if he does or doesn't, then make it like a fun/silly game? Power struggles are no fun for kids when no one is battling on the other side.

[BAMFMrsB]

Aug 27, 2014 9:51:28 GMT -5 lilac05 said:

Daycare teachers work miracles...and kids are great at knowing which of their parents' buttons to push. It's a deadly combination for moms!

Can you just ignore the glasses situation at home for a few days and see if you can kind of "reset" both of your attitudes towards him wearing glasses at home? Then, when you try again, pretend like you don't really care if he does or doesn't, then make it like a fun/silly game? Power struggles are no fun for kids when no one is battling on the other side.

For reals.

I'm going to keep trying when we're home and if he refuses or throws a tantrum, we'll just drop it for that night, rinse + repeat the next day. I'm sure at SOME point it'll click with him, but I know right now we're in a "I CONTROL MY BODY" phase and I just need to have some patience with him.

Blergh.