I think I need to get back on meds:-/

[aba]

I used to be on 40 mg of Prozac. It worked really well for me but I didn't want to be on a daily med and decided to wean myself off. I actually did really well for about a month, but then the anxiety started to come back.

I tend to perseverate on really simple things and I get myself so worked up over it. Typically, the topic I obsess on is something work-related. I will see a question or scenario and I MUST figure out the answer and I repeat it in my head over and over (like proving to myself I am correct?). 

I have had a lot of stress the last 2 months so I know that can make it worse. I just took my extremely difficult board exam which has a 40% pass rate:( I know that isn't helping. The test is over now, but it takes 45 days for the results, cue anxiety. 

I believe most of my obsessions are work related because I base a huge part of my "worth" on how good I am at my job. I'm not the best! Trust me. So this is difficult, because I feel like I let myself down almost every day. 

I work as a behavior analyst (kinda funny considering haha) so a huge part of my job is analyzing different situations/behaviors and determining a plan of action. Almost every behavior analyst I know tends to over analyze things...it's just how we are. I think I take it too far though. If I do find that I am incorrect with something, I get really upset with myself and then MUST understand the correct answer/procedure. I catch myself making up different scenarios in my head to "test" if I can figure it out. 

Basically, I am driving myself crazy and it sucks. I can't ever relax on my days off because I am obsessing about various work stuff. 

I'm pretty sure I need to get back on the Prozac....I hate taking it though:( 

[flex]

Why do you hate taking it? Is it because of side effects?

[Deleted]

Why be miserable? I think if it helps, you might want to take it. Could you try a lower dosage?

Your job sounds interesting. As a bean-counter I'm always saying "i can't predict human behavior." Maybe someone like you could help me? LOL

But seriously, like Flex asked, why don't you want to take it.

[aba]

To be honest, I think it's just the stigma attached to "needing" medication. My husband is rather anti-meds too, which doesn't help. He supports my choices, but I know he doesn't really agree with it.

The second reason is that before I got my new insurance they medicine was REALLY expensive! I hated the idea of spending $150/month on medication (I have tried other types and I get horrible side effects). With insurance now, it should be much cheaper. Can't use that as an excuse anymore;)

[flex]

I'm sure you know this, but there's NOTHING to be ashamed of for wanting to help a chemical imbalance in your brain. Would you not need medication if you were diabetic? To me, taking AD's is the same as insulin shots. It's just the way things are and it needs to be regulated.

[SwimDeep]

Aug 31, 2014 21:47:15 GMT -5 aba said:

To be honest, I think it's just the stigma attached to "needing" medication. My husband is rather anti-meds too, which doesn't help. He supports my choices, but I know he doesn't really agree with it.

The second reason is that before I got my new insurance they medicine was REALLY expensive! I hated the idea of spending $150/month on medication (I have tried other types and I get horrible side effects). With insurance now, it should be much cheaper. Can't use that as an excuse anymore;)

I can relate. My H supports my decision to be on medication right now, but he really doesn't want me to be on them long term. I have not openly shared my diagnosis or treatment decisions with anyone else in my family because of the stigma they attach to it.

Lately, I have to keep telling myself that it's okay to want to feel better. It's okay to want to be healthy. Diet and exercise work for my H, but they don't work for me. I need the extra chemicals in my brain right now (and potentially forever) in order to function like a reputable human adult. I truly hope that we are entering an era where depression and other mental illnesses are better understood and not so stigmatized. ...at least their not locking us up in insane asylums anymore...

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2014 15:32:25 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

Aug 31, 2014 21:47:15 GMT -5 aba said:

To be honest, I think it's just the stigma attached to "needing" medication. My husband is rather anti-meds too, which doesn't help. He supports my choices, but I know he doesn't really agree with it.

The second reason is that before I got my new insurance they medicine was REALLY expensive! I hated the idea of spending $150/month on medication (I have tried other types and I get horrible side effects). With insurance now, it should be much cheaper. Can't use that as an excuse anymore;)

I can relate. My H supports my decision to be on medication right now, but he really doesn't want me to be on them long term. I have not openly shared my diagnosis or treatment decisions with anyone else in my family because of the stigma they attach to it.

Lately, I have to keep telling myself that it's okay to want to feel better. It's okay to want to be healthy. Diet and exercise work for my H, but they don't work for me. I need the extra chemicals in my brain right now (and potentially forever) in order to function like a reputable human adult. I truly hope that we are entering an era where depression and other mental illnesses are better understood and not so stigmatized. ...at least their not locking us up in insane asylums anymore...

Asylums or any of the other misery that people used to have to endure.  My grandma had ECT for a while because her depression got so bad.  How I wish she could have taken a pill every morning and had a better quality of life.

[phoenixrising]

I went off my SSRI for five days because I ran out and was waiting for my refill, and that was enough to convince me I will probably have to remain medicated forever.

[aba]

Technically I have been to a couple different mental hospitals...not asylums though;) No, I've actually been to a couple inpatient programs and residential centers.

I agree though, I would much rather take a pill than have to get ECT or something. My friend is actually going on her 6th round of ECT this week:-/

[SwimDeep]

I didn't mean to sound judgmental about ECT. I know that it can actually be really helpful for some people. I really just wanted to express that I'm glad I can make an independent choice about my mental health rather than having that choice forced on me.

aba - I hope your doctor can work with you to find something that helps you!

[bluefish]

FYI Prozac is on the $4 list at many pharmacies.

Oh the Places You'll Go!
*i am here*

[aba]

Sept 1, 2014 22:55:26 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

I didn't mean to sound judgmental about ECT. I know that it can actually be really helpful for some people. I really just wanted to express that I'm glad I can make an independent choice about my mental health rather than having that choice forced on me.

aba - I hope your doctor can work with you to find something that helps you!

No worries:) I didn't think so. 

I would definitely prefer the choice as well. In fact, I think if my friend would have made some better choices, including medication management, she would't be having to do the ECT. 

[aba]

Sept 1, 2014 23:28:29 GMT -5 bluefish said:

FYI Prozac is on the $4 list at many pharmacies.

Oh the Places You'll Go!
*i am here*

Without insurance? It was $75/month for me without insurance:(

Thankfully I have good insurance now and I believe it is only $4, maybe $10:)

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2014 22:55:26 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

I didn't mean to sound judgmental about ECT. I know that it can actually be really helpful for some people. I really just wanted to express that I'm glad I can make an independent choice about my mental health rather than having that choice forced on me.

aba - I hope your doctor can work with you to find something that helps you!

Me too, I'm sorry if I came off as judgmental about ECT.  My point being more that it was my grammie's only choice. 

[spedrunner]

i am currently on 40mg of prozac  I def. still need it.  I do not plan on being on it forever, but it has helped IMMENSELY with my anxiety and eating issues. Without it I would not have gotten this far.

Hang in there. I am super stressed right now too, we are both in similar fields, so i know how you feel

xoxox

[felicia]

Does it have to be Prozac? Have you tried other meds? I actually needed my meds upped this summer and it's made a huge difference. I also obsess over things - things that are no big deal to anyone else, but I can't let them go. The meds really do help quite a bit with that. Also, my husband knows how bad it can get if I'm not on my meds. He knows how much they help me. I'm sorry your husband isn't as completely on board with your need for meds as he could be. Hopefully he will come to understand their importance in so many ways, especially maintaining a healthy relationship.

[Deleted]

Without insurance you can get Prozac for $4-8 at Target.

[aba]

I wish I had known that before! It was so expensive at CVS! Even with insurance, I'll probably go to Target as it will probably be cheaper.

I did talk to my husband last night. Although he thinks I could be ok without meds, he agrees that if I think it would help me, I should just go back on them.

[Deleted]

Sept 8, 2014 21:09:00 GMT -5 aba said:

I wish I had known that before! It was so expensive at CVS! Even with insurance, I'll probably go to Target as it will probably be cheaper.

I did talk to my husband last night. Although he thinks I could be ok without meds, he agrees that if I think it would help me, I should just go back on them.

www.target.com/pharmacy/generics-alphabetic

How can he think you will be ok if you are suffering? What is his alternative?