Do you have friends in recovery?

[SwimDeep]

I have not been around any particular group long enough to make friends. The only person I know in recovery (aside from the people here) is my H.

I'm sorry about your friend.

[flex]

Yes, I have many many friends in recovery. It says in the Big Book of AA that we develop a myriad of friends in the Program, and it's so true. In fact, I have more AA friends than I do "normy" friends and I prefer it that way. They're more on an even keel emotionally.

ETA: And I don't have any friends who are "practicing" addicts or alcoholics, and even if I did, I'd probably not include them in my life--too emotionally draining.

[btay]

I have two coworkers who are in recovery and an uncle and SIL/friend who are still active users but none of my close friends. I use everything I've learned in Al Anon on every relationship, but these especially.

[Deleted]

Sept 2, 2014 9:05:51 GMT -5 flex said:

Yes, I have many many friends in recovery. It says in the Big Book of AA that we develop a myriad of friends in the Program, and it's so true. In fact, I have more AA friends than I do "normy" friends and I prefer it that way. They're more on an even keel emotionally.

ETA: And I don't have any friends who are "practicing" addicts or alcoholics, and even if I did, I'd probably not include them in my life--too emotionally draining.

This.  Exactly!  I'm in recovery and have lots of friends in recovery.  Most of my close friends are alcoholics.  (Not practicing ones.)

[Deleted]

Sorry, your second post gave me a little more insight as to what you are asking.


Sounds like your close friend is using or has possibly relapsed? Unfortunately, if your friend is continuing to use, you cannot do a darn thing, except offer support when she is ready. If your friend has stopped using again, then tell her you are proud of her efforts and let her know you are there for her. Listen, but don't feel like you have to listen if she is drunk or high. There are limits in what you need to do.

Hope this helps and I'm not way off in my interpretation. PM me if you'd like.

[flex]

Like what @courtneyloves says, you can't help unless she wants it/asks for it.

So let me ask you a question--while she's been sober what have you done to support her? Now that she's relapsed, you shouldn't treat her any differently. Make sense? : )

[flex]

Tell your friend that she's not bad/awful--she's just sick. And she CAN get better. She has the tools laid at her feet. She just needs to pick them up and she is the ONLY one who can decide whether or not to pick up those tools.