Kind of an update on my sister

[flex]

I'm posting this here because this is more recovery-related and it's more of a sharing with you so I don't have a resentment building up.

My mom had emergency surgery in late July.  She had left for a doctor appointment because she felt like something was "not right" and they wound up keeping her at the hospital for almost two weeks.

Anyway, my sister went over to the house to check on things.  She told me over the phone that she found a bag of my mom's painkillers (oxycodone) "on the floor of the garage", and she talked about how weird it was that it was just lying there.  I was kind of surprised about this--that they were just lying on the garage floor--and I laughingly said "well, don't sell them for heaven's sake! ha ha".  I encouraged her to dispose of them, etc., and she didn't really affirm she was going to do it.

Anyway, I suddenly remembered today that I hadn't asked my mom about them, so I asked her if my sister had said anything to her about it.  Mom told me my sister had said nothing about it , AND she also said that she had them stored in a cupboard out in the garage and that they were missing.  So in essence my sister has said nothing to my mom about them nor has she returned them.

I sent my sister a text about them, and so far no reply.  She may join us today when I take my mom in for her chemo consult appointment this afternoon, so I'm going to have ask my sister about this if I see her today.  Or maybe it'll have to wait Friday because she and I are supposed to have lunch.  Either way I'm not going to text her about it.  We need a face-to-face conversation.  I'm concerned that something bad is afoot.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry flexie, that is a lot to handle. I am glad you are going to talk to her about it.

Enjoy the time with your mom.

[flex]

Definitely a subject my sponsor and I need to discuss when I get home. lol

[seabitch]

Sorry Flex, that is a hard one.

Ditto on enjoying the time with you mom. Life is so stinking short.

[flex]

Yes, I've decided not to engage because it's not really helpful for her or for me. She is who she is. I love her, though, so if she ever asks for help, I'll be the first to step up.

[Deleted]

Sounds like it's time for a heart to heart with your sister. Agree with your idea that a face to face is better than a text. Hope everything will go okay. Will be thinking of you.

Actually, looking at the posting time, maybe you already talked with your sister? Either way, I hope you'll have an honest talk. Enjoy the time with your mom. You have a lot on your plate right now.

[flex]

Haven't had the face-to-face. We're supposed to meet for lunch on Friday but I have a feeling she won't be feeling well and so no lunch. We'll see. I've stopped responding to her negative texts and just answer her questions about my mom.

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2014 22:49:53 GMT -5 flex said:

Haven't had the face-to-face. We're supposed to meet for lunch on Friday but I have a feeling she won't be feeling well and so no lunch. We'll see. I've stopped responding to her negative texts and just answer her questions about my mom.

Good plan. ((hugs))

[btay]

(())

[flex]

She came over to my mom's house yesterday and I ordered pizza. My two of my aunts came over too.

Anyhoo, we didn't have to have the oxy discussion face-to-face--we did it via text. First she told me her counselor told her to flush the pills and she did so two weeks ago. When I pointed out that a professional counselor wouldn't have told her to do that (it gets into the water supply), she backpedaled and said she (my sister) just did it herself. Quite frankly I don't believe a word my sister says--I haven't for some time.

At any rate, she and I just chatted about stuff while she was here. I've given up on calling her on her shit and like I said earlier, we'll just talk about Mom from now on.

[Deleted]

You showed more restraint than I would have! I'm impressed that you didn't call her out. Good for you.

[flex]

@courtneyloves if my mom had wanted to raise a fuss about the pill thing, I would have backed her on it. but she didn't want to get stressed about it, so I unruffled my feathers. lol

So we had our big family reunion this afternoon. My sister said she wanted to go and to bring two of her kids with her. On Friday she asked me if I could pick them up before heading to the reunion and I said "sure".

Well she called this morning to tell my mom that her toilet was backed up. My mom was like "again? What was dropped in there this time?" My sister didn't like that and kind of barked at my mom. I don't blame her. She was stressed about the toilet and what my mom said probably would have irked me too. Anyway, my niece called a little later and said that they would be coming over to Mom's house to use the bathroom to finish getting ready.

Then my sister called again saying she was too stressed to go herself, but she would drop off her kids so they could go. My mom encouraged her to because it would make her feel better to be around family (my sister does not have social anxiety--she does very well when a bunch of people are around). But my sister's nerves were too frayed though for her to go, and my mom got irritated with her about it.

Oy. Moving back to Oregon doesn't sound super exciting with this family dynamic thing going on right now. ::sigh::

[Deleted]

Sept 7, 2014 19:14:46 GMT -5 flex said:

@courtneyloves if my mom had wanted to raise a fuss about the pill thing, I would have backed her on it. but she didn't want to get stressed about it, so I unruffled my feathers. lol

So we had our big family reunion this afternoon. My sister said she wanted to go and to bring two of her kids with her. On Friday she asked me if I could pick them up before heading to the reunion and I said "sure".

Well she called this morning to tell my mom that her toilet was backed up. My mom was like "again? What was dropped in there this time?" My sister didn't like that and kind of barked at my mom. I don't blame her. She was stressed about the toilet and what my mom said probably would have irked me too. Anyway, my niece called a little later and said that they would be coming over to Mom's house to use the bathroom to finish getting ready.

Then my sister called again saying she was too stressed to go herself, but she would drop off her kids so they could go. My mom encouraged her to because it would make her feel better to be around family (my sister does not have social anxiety--she does very well when a bunch of people are around). But my sister's nerves were too frayed though for her to go, and my mom got irritated with her about it.

Oy. Moving back to Oregon doesn't sound super exciting with this family dynamic thing going on right now. ::sigh::

I know what you mean about the family dynamic.  There were some issues in my family that really made me wonder why I ever came back home at one point.  The good thing is I was supported by friends during those rough times. 

You're thinking of moving back when you retire, not now, right?  You'll have some time to think about it anyways. 

Maybe a good thing your sis stayed home today and de-stressed.  How was the reunion?

[flex]

The reunion was awesome. My aunt supplied a bunch of pictures from when my cousins and I were little. Plus pictures of my mom and all her siblings. I posted a couple of those pics on ML. lol