This makes me sad. People are the worst. I've encountered nothing but grace and encouragement breastfeeding (even during DS2's baptism) and with my hoard of small children running amok in general. Our priest has told me that he like the competition during the homily lol.
I'm sorry you've encountered this OP. Truly unchristian and as others have said, very well could be illegal. Find a new parish that welcomes and celebrates your family.
i hope you light that place up. more churches need public push back on their antiquated rules or they will die while running our generation out the door. i nurse in church almost every week and i support you.
Post by barefootcontessa on Sept 8, 2014 13:34:45 GMT -5
I think it is not too smart to make a big deal and say you will ask people to leave the service. But I would not be upset since they have places for nursing to happen. I am not a particularly modest person, but I can see how men and teenage boys would feel uncomfortable and I would not want cause distress/discomfort for them. I do not nurse in front of my father or brother for this reason.
I think it is not too smart to make a big deal and say you will ask people to leave the service. But I would not be upset since they have places for nursing to happen. I am not a particularly modest person, but I can see how men and teenage boys would feel uncomfortable and I would not want cause distress/discomfort for them. I do not nurse in front of my father or brother for this reason.
People who don't want to see women feeding their babies can leave. Your family's issues and others like them are not a reason to make mothers leave the room.
I also have issues with the whole "men aren't responsible for their thoughts or actions" theme that underlies all the crap I heard about "modesty" as a child/teen/young woman in the church. My daughter will not be getting that messaging if we're still in church when she's old enough to understand it. And that messaging starts with kicking out a baby that needs to eat in church.
That's terrible. I'd be really upset. I think BF can already be isolating and lonely. How sad that a nursing mother would feel excluded and not welcome at church. Church!!
I've seen several babies be breastfed during mass at all parishes I've been a part of. I usually went back to the cry room because it was quieter and the chairs were easier to nurse in, but I never, ever felt I had to.
I would be taking this up with the leadership in your church. Ask them if this is, indeed, the policy. Then ask if they are aware that their policy is against the law. Then call the media and organize a nurse-in.
Sort-of-but-not-really kidding about that last part. It's what I would want to do, but I'm not sure I could be that confrontational. I wish I could.
i'm still incensed about this. i'm even more incensed about the idea of excusing myself from a room so that men aren't uncomfortable.
fuck that noise.
h and i are youth leaders at our church. i bring R and nurse him every week. the boys (or anyone) barely give me a second glance. i'm really fortunate to live in a place where breast feeding is normal in public and because of that it's not weird or something to be ogled.
The childbirth class teacher at our (Catholic) hospital said that if anyone gave us crap for nursing in church, ask them how they thought that Mary fed baby Jesus. LOL!
Also, that is BS and I would switch churches over that.
When I talked to the children's minister I told her we would have to leave the church, especially since we will be having more children. She said "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Rage.
Wow. I'm surprised and disappointed by her response.
I would definitely approach it from the legality side. Is there a head minister at the church?
I think it is not too smart to make a big deal and say you will ask people to leave the service. But I would not be upset since they have places for nursing to happen. I am not a particularly modest person, but I can see how men and teenage boys would feel uncomfortable and I would not want cause distress/discomfort for them. I do not nurse in front of my father or brother for this reason.
I think it is not too smart to make a big deal and say you will ask people to leave the service. But I would not be upset since they have places for nursing to happen. I am not a particularly modest person, but I can see how men and teenage boys would feel uncomfortable and I would not want cause distress/discomfort for them. I do not nurse in front of my father or brother for this reason.
MH's entire family (including my MIL and SIL) were completely uncomfortable with me BFing even with a cover (back when DS wouldn't fling it off). I wouldn't necessarily BF at the dinner table but it seemed silly for me to hide from everyone each time. I think it is important for people to see BFing. While they are still not entirely comfortable and slightly weirded out by the fact that I am still BFing my 18 mo old, I think it has helped make BFing a bit more normal. SIL actually approached me with a couple of BFing questions related to her coworker.
I didn't bring it up, but I thought of it and I am Catholic.
But I thought of it for the same reason mentioned - he's a high ranking public religious official who has openly supported nursing mothers. No other world leader (secular or otherwise) that I've seen has made such a public and pro stance.
Is it specific to BF or kids in the service at all? Our church is strict with not having kids in the main service but have awesome kid programs. If the policy is specific to BF, I would escalate it and likely find a new church.
This is interesting to me. I would not attend a church where I was made to feel like my children weren't welcome during the church service. My kids are kind of rowdy. We do the best we can to keep them quiet. We're usually successful and when we aren't most people just laugh. I never breastfed in church because both of my kids were noisy eaters. Other people have breastfed in church with no issue. If a church wants to grow, creating policies that annoy young families is not the right direction to go.
Is it specific to BF or kids in the service at all? Our church is strict with not having kids in the main service but have awesome kid programs. If the policy is specific to BF, I would escalate it and likely find a new church.
This is interesting to me. I would not attend a church where I was made to feel like my children weren't welcome during the church service. My kids are kind of rowdy. We do the best we can to keep them quiet. We're usually successful and when we aren't most people just laugh. I never breastfed in church because both of my kids were noisy eaters. Other people have breastfed in church with no issue. If a church wants to grow, creating policies that annoy young families is not the right direction to go.
I have been in a church that prided itself on providing such great "children's church" that kids were rarely seen in the service. They came with parents, stayed for an opening song, and then went to do their own thing.
It's not the model I want for my kids, but damn, I wish we had a preschool/nursery program so I could actually concentrate on a sermon sometimes.
This is interesting to me. I would not attend a church where I was made to feel like my children weren't welcome during the church service. My kids are kind of rowdy. We do the best we can to keep them quiet. We're usually successful and when we aren't most people just laugh. I never breastfed in church because both of my kids were noisy eaters. Other people have breastfed in church with no issue. If a church wants to grow, creating policies that annoy young families is not the right direction to go.
I have been in a church that prided itself on providing such great "children's church" that kids were rarely seen in the service. They came with parents, stayed for an opening song, and then went to do their own thing.
It's not the model I want for my kids, but damn, I wish we had a preschool/nursery program so I could actually concentrate on a sermon sometimes.
Yeah, I wasn't being snarky when I said it was interesting. It really is interesting to hear a viewpoint so different from my own. I want my kids in church with me. They have Sunday school to learn on their own after church.
I would be taking this up with the leadership in your church. Ask them if this is, indeed, the policy. Then ask if they are aware that their policy is against the law. Then call the media and organize a nurse-in.
This.
I am extremely angry on your behalf. If you are anywhere near me, I will come to your nurse in. Bonus: you'll get an agnostic to church!
I think it is not too smart to make a big deal and say you will ask people to leave the service. But I would not be upset since they have places for nursing to happen. I am not a particularly modest person, but I can see how men and teenage boys would feel uncomfortable and I would not want cause distress/discomfort for them. I do not nurse in front of my father or brother for this reason.
People who don't want to see women feeding their babies can leave. Your family's issues and others like them are not a reason to make mothers leave the room.
the question was would I be upset and my answer is no I would not be upset. I have breastfed five children for a year+ each time so I have encountered these types of situations many times. These are my sentiments on the issue based on my experience -- not necessarily what I think the church should or should not do.
No. No, no, no. I BFed in church pretty much every week for C's first year. Everyone survived.
Nursing rooms, while a nice gesture for those who aren't comfortable NIP, are not the same as being in the service. Separate is not equal.
I would, however, bring it up with church administration first and get some sort of official response before unleashing hell. It's possible that it's an old/outdated rule and they're willing to change it.
Post by timorousbeastie on Sept 8, 2014 15:22:03 GMT -5
I'd talk to the priest, and depending on his response, switch churches. Of course, I'm also of the opinion that you can ask me to move while I'm NIP all you want, it doesn't mean my ass is getting up. So I would probably just go ahead and nurse regardless of their policy (not that that applies to you, since you said you're not nursing any more).
Still a lot of assuming to jump to "the Pope said..." instead of "that's not very Christian" or "that's illegal" or any other response.
I don't think it's a big deal or anything, it's just something I notice happens relatively frequently (not on these boards, just in general) and it does irk me. I'm an atheist now, so I don't really have a dog in the fight anymore.
As far as I know, it's the most public/notorious pro-breastfeeding stance from a leader of a major religious organization. I've seen it thrown around by a lot of lactivists who don't appear to be Catholic. I supposed you could poll the posters who brought it up to see if they are Catholic.
I guess my comment was in response to this:
"Sept 8, 2014 14:03:10 GMT -4 teatimefor2 said:
If the Pope is okay with BF, a church should be too."
Protestants don't care what the Pope is okay/not okay with. He has no authority. I can see a non-Christian having that kind of misunderstanding but it bugs me when a Christian person does.
Even the pope is pro-nursing in church, if I recall correctly! That is really sad. I don't know how I would feel about nursing in church but I'm generally not comfortable in a church anyway
Bottom line, to me: churches are supposed to be places of inclusion. The word of God is for everyone, even prostitutes and tax collectors and breastfeeding mothers and babies. I'm no master theologian and I'm sure my hippie liberal church would make some cringe, but I'm fairly sure that's kind of a main point in the Bible. No?
These church leaders are clearly missing the point.
Post by scribellesam on Sept 8, 2014 16:09:26 GMT -5
My church discourages children being in service because they are "disruptive" (I don't agree with it but no church is perfect) but babies are accepted if they are being quiet. We have a family lounge that's meant for nursing but I would be surprised if a mother was asked to leave service for nursing, if only because I'm friends with our children's ministry director and I know she's very pro-BF.
I agree with the rest that this policy is rude and disrespectful to mothers.