Taking out just one twin

[jnoellee]

Did any of you try to make a point to take just one of your twins out every so often, instead of both?

I had my twins when Elias was 16 months, so now I have two 1 year olds and Elias is 2 and 4 months. Not only is taking out all three by myself pretty damn hard, but I like to make an effort to give them all individual time. It's easier for me, and we get to switch things up for them and I think that can be nice.

If H gets home and I need to run an errand, I will either go by myself (I'm free!!) Or I'll take one of them with me. Next time, I'll take someone else, etc. I will take them all on a walk or if H and I both go somewhere we will obviously take them all.

Yesterday I was going to a baby shower about an hour away, and I only took Rose with me. Jane was asleep when I was leaving, and she is a major daddy's girl and only wants H when he's home, so I thought it would be fun for H to stay home with Elias & Jane and Rose & I would go to the shower. Also Rose loves to be held by everyone and I knew it would be an easy trip. If I brought them both, I'd have to bring the double stroller with me to get them inside, because there's no way I can hold both of them at the same time, (I can if someone hands me one, but I cant get one out of their carseat and then get the other one out while still holding the first one. They are also very heavy babies, R is 36lbs and J is 28!) and they arent old enough to walk inside by themselves yet.

Anyway, everyone at the shower thought it was so weird I only brought Rose and not Jane too. I almost felt judged in an odd way.

Can anyone relate?

Eta: just saw thread below from fryjack2.

This is also just a rant about people making stupid comments to me. Lol. Some one asked me why I dont come out more, to their house which is even further from the location of the shower, and I said that taking all three out is pretty hard... A friend rudely interrupted and was like, "You can't use that excuse anymore!" Because the girl I was talking to just had her third child. But, she didn't have twins when her son was 16 months and the situation is totally different! Not that hers isn't also hard, it's just totally different.

I always feel judged from people, and it's frustrating. But honestly, they have no idea hat they're talking about!

[UnderProtest]

I think it is good to give them individual time. I suck at actually doing it though, so kudos to you! Ignore stupid people. Your twins aren't conjoined, there is no reason you have to take them everywhere together.....nor would people expect it if they weren't twins. Very strange. Again, just ignore.

[demandypants]

I don't think this is weird at all. I plan on raising my twins as individuals and that will include time apart! Just like I will make sure DD has some individual time with me or her dad.

[loremipsum]

Sept 15, 2014 12:51:48 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

I think it is good to give them individual time. I suck at actually doing it though, so kudos to you! Ignore stupid people. Your twins aren't conjoined, there is no reason you have to take them everywhere together.....nor would people expect it if they weren't twins. Very strange. Again, just ignore.

This.

People have an odd expectation that multiples must share and do together everything all the time. Go the same places, wear matching outfits, like exactly the same things, have the same personality (or polar opposite personalities - apparently either exactly the same or wildly different are the only acceptable options lol). They're often treated as a unit instead of individual people just like any other siblings.

All you can do is keep on keeping on, and ignore the dumbasses.

[Deleted]

Its funny, ever since the girls were born I have made an effort to take j (my now 2yo) out on his own. But it wasn't until last week that I took just one girl with me. I felt like I was missing a kid.

That said, I absolutely will make an effort to regularly swap which kid I take out alone. Since I am still nursing the girls I usually bring them both if I'll be gone long or expect they will need to eat. I much prefer to just nurse than deal with pumping when I don't have to. But as they get older I do think it's important for them to all have one on one time. So.I'll swap which kid I take with me grocery shopping etc.

[cayl]

My kids are 2.5 and I try to go out with both of them but man, it's hard. If I go to the grocery store with them and put them in one of those stupid car carts, sometimes they'll be good as gold, other times they'll fight and hit each other and run off in different directions. I can't even imagine what it's like going out with 3, so ignore anyone who makes dumb comments about it.

As far as going out with just one goes, if I go to run an errand I usually take one. This past weekend H and I each had errands to run and we each took one. DD2 was sick and MIL asked to keep DD1 overnight so we had a night alone with DD2. Last night my sister asked to take DD2 camping with her and her son, so we had a night alone with DD1. Those are far and few between, but both nights were unexpected and really nice. And holy crap did life seem super easy with just one kid to handle!

[fryjack2]

I currently have just jack with me. Well, he's in with his speech therapist but after that we will have a couple hours by ourselves while Henry is on another town with H doing a different speech thing.

I'm so excited! I get to be one of those people who walks around with only one kid to worry about! I don't have my double stroller with me! I don't have a big diaper bag! I don't have to figure out how I'm going to get them both in and out of a car! I don't have to hold two hands and my bag!!

We are going to have a Starbucks date and go to the playground.

We really need to so this thing more often but it's hard because h works so much and the boys like to be together.

jnoellee. People can be so stupid. Ignore them and wow! The boys are 23&24.5 pounds at almost 2.5. I'm in awe of your girls!

[Deleted]

We do this and the girls look forward their day. It allows them to be away from each other a bit and special time with mom and dad that I think every child needs.

[jnoellee]

Sept 16, 2014 8:26:11 GMT -5 fryjack2 said:

I currently have just jack with me. Well, he's in with his speech therapist but after that we will have a couple hours by ourselves while Henry is on another town with H doing a different speech thing.

I'm so excited! I get to be one of those people who walks around with only one kid to worry about! I don't have my double stroller with me! I don't have a big diaper bag! I don't have to figure out how I'm going to get them both in and out of a car! I don't have to hold two hands and my bag!!

We are going to have a Starbucks date and go to the playground.

We really need to so this thing more often but it's hard because h works so much and the boys like to be together.

jnoellee. People can be so stupid. Ignore them and wow! The boys are 23&24.5 pounds at almost 2.5. I'm in awe of your girls!

After having twins, doesn't taking out just one feel like a breeze?? It's almost relaxing, lol. That's also why I was happy to just bring Rose along. And, she's so laid back.

That's so funny about our kids weights! H and I are tall people, 6'6 and 5'11, so the kids are super long, too. I bet seeing ours next to eahother IRL would be hilarious. Too bad I'm in CA!

[jnoellee]

Sept 16, 2014 6:30:03 GMT -5 @awinter said:

Its funny, ever since the girls were born I have made an effort to take j (my now 2yo) out on his own. But it wasn't until last week that I took just one girl with me. I felt like I was missing a kid.

That said, I absolutely will make an effort to regularly swap which kid I take out alone. Since I am still nursing the girls I usually bring them both if I'll be gone long or expect they will need to eat. I much prefer to just nurse than deal with pumping when I don't have to. But as they get older I do think it's important for them to all have one on one time. So.I'll swap which kid I take with me grocery shopping etc.

Yeah, my son is 2 and I feel like he appreciates leaving more than the girls do, but he also loves spending time with my H since he works a lot. They watch baseball and eat snacks together. Lol. And sometimes he doesn't like to sit in the cart while I grocery shop so I'll take a girl with me. When they were younger, I pretty much only took my son with me. But now I'm trying to alternate.

How old are your girls?

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2014 10:47:45 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Sept 16, 2014 6:30:03 GMT -5 @awinter said:

Its funny, ever since the girls were born I have made an effort to take j (my now 2yo) out on his own. But it wasn't until last week that I took just one girl with me. I felt like I was missing a kid.

That said, I absolutely will make an effort to regularly swap which kid I take out alone. Since I am still nursing the girls I usually bring them both if I'll be gone long or expect they will need to eat. I much prefer to just nurse than deal with pumping when I don't have to. But as they get older I do think it's important for them to all have one on one time. So.I'll swap which kid I take with me grocery shopping etc.

Yeah, my son is 2 and I feel like he appreciates leaving more than the girls do, but he also loves spending time with my H since he works a lot. They watch baseball and eat snacks together. Lol. And sometimes he doesn't like to sit in the cart while I grocery shop so I'll take a girl with me. When they were younger, I pretty much only took my son with me. But now I'm trying to alternate.

How old are your girls?

My girls are 6 months and my son 27mo. He definitely appreciates the one on one time more. I liked taking one girl out though and pretending I just had on baby lol. It was so easy to shop with one baby in the ergo.

[macchiatto]

We do occasionally, though we don't make it happen as often as I'd like. I love 1:1 time with them though.

[cinnamoncox]

Mine are 4. We rarely separate them. A handful of times one of us will bring only one to the store or something, but it's rare.

[kittycat196]

My kids are 4 too and I work full time and just dont have the time to take them out one on one.
I have done it when only one was invited to birthday party (seperate classes) and it was nice to spend time with just one. I did feel like I was missing half of me with out him though.