Therapist recommended AA?

[mel]

My therapist recommended that I go to an AA meeting.

I'm trying to processing this. I'm not an alcoholic.

How would this benefit me? She said something about connecting with others that have turned their lives over to a higher power.

[flex]

Anyone can go to an "open" meeting as an observer.

I think what she'd like for you to observe is how the 12-Step process can work, and so you can hear those people in recovery share their experience, strength and hope.

[mel]

I guess for me I thought it would be perceived as rude/disrespectful/intrusive to attend a meeting if it didn't pertain to me. The last thing that I want is to be insensitive to someone else. But I guess maybe she means to look at the bigger picture- the whole process -rather than the actual affliction that is being discussed.

I just struck me as an odd recommendation because we were discussing how resentful I am of life right now and how the resentment has led me down this path of destruction.

[flex]

Resentment is the #1 killer of alcoholics; and I dare say that resentments are the #1 killer of all addicts (whether alcohol, drugs, cutting, food, etc.)

AA recognizes the danger of pent-up resentments to our sobriety. We take resentments very seriously.

ETA: your therapist is very wise.  She knows her stuff.

[mel]

Resentment has sucked me back into the destructive pattern that I've been in for the past two weeks. I'm literally almost to my breaking point. I've even had the fleeting thought of "my son would be better off without me. I should give him up".

I love my therapist and I will take her advice and try a meeting. I've never been to one. How do I find one? Is childcare provided?

[flex]

Sept 15, 2014 18:07:32 GMT -5 mel said:

Resentment has sucked me back into the destructive pattern that I've been in for the past two weeks. I'm literally almost to my breaking point. I've even had the fleeting thought of "my son would be better off without me. I should give him up".

I love my therapist and I will take her advice and try a meeting. I've never been to one. How do I find one? Is childcare provided?

You'll have to go online to find AA meetings in your area.  There should be an Intergroup or Central Office in your area.  You can call them and they may be able to recommend meetings that are close to you.

Some groups provide childcare and some do not, but that's usually noted on the meeting schedule if they provide it or not.

[Deleted]

I'd have to agree with what Flex has written so far. mel, you may be surprised how much you'll relate to those of us with alcohol addiction. Most of the other 12 step programs utilize the same steps as AA.

Good luck. I hope you'll go. You'll be welcomed into the fellowship whether alcoholic or not. Your therapist provided you with an opportunity to try something different. Wishing you well!

[malibu]

flex is wise, as is your therapist. You have an addiction just like any other, and a 12 step program could likely help you tremendously.

[SwimDeep]

I have to agree with the others here, and I'm seriously thinking about finding an AA group that I can attend for myself. I checked out the book "A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps" and so much of it is resonating with me that I'm starting to think working the steps might really help me.

[mel]

Like I said I just always assumed that AA was strictly for alcoholics and that it was be inconsiderate to go if you had some other addiction. I didn't realize that it was so open. I know that the twelve step process can work with other addictions and I've thought about it before but never really knew where to start since my addiction is cutting and I have yet to find a support group for that. I definitely need some to at least hear stories of hope and strength so maybe I can take some of that and use it for myself. I'm pretty hopeless right now.

I did find a ton of meetings when I looked online but none of them had childcare so I'll have to either get a babysitter for one this week or wait until next week when my ex has DS. But I think I will give it a try.

[flex]

From what I understand NA has open meetings too. I'm sure most addiction 12-Step meetings allow for observers.

If you do go, mel, in the opening of the meeting they may ask if there are any non-AA visitors by first name only. You do NOT have to introduce yourself if you're not comfortable with that. It is not a requirement. I don't want you to be feel pressured to say anything. Sitting and listening is perfectly fine. : )

[pinkdutchtulips]

ask her if she meant Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon ? both utilize the same 12 step program. for a non addict or one who has some level of involvement w/ an addict or codependency issues, Al- Anon is the place to be.

[mel]

Thank you for the advice flex. I've very much been in my head thinking "omg what do I say, how do I act, what will it be like, how do I even begin or know that it's for me". Probably making a way bigger deal about it in my head than it really is. It's comforting to know that I can do what I am comfortable with at the time!

pinkdutchtulips she meant AA. She was very clear in that. She briefly discussed Al-Anon but strongly encouraged AA, which obviously shook me up as I was not expecting that at all.

[malibu]

I can understand why she'd recommend AA over Al-Anon since, while you aren't an alcoholic, you do suffer from an addiction. It would make sense to attend a meeting for those with addictions rather than AlAnon for friends/family members of addicts.

I hope you are able to go to a meeting. They do have childcare at some meetings. I think in my sticky post on this board I linked the AA site where you can find meetings in your area. And like flex said, you'll want to search for open meetings.

[Deleted]

mel, I've been in CLOSED meetings that are opened by consensus if someone does not identify themselves as an alcoholic. The fellowship is usually very agreeable. There have been RNs who attend my homegroup to learn more about alcoholism. At our women's (closed) meeting, I've met sugar addicts, eating disordered women, etc. There are court ordered attendees who aren't sure they are alcoholics - one guy introduces himself as "I'm ___ and I've got problems!"

Usually there is no resistance to opening up a closed meeting if a person wants to learn about alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.  I hope you'll find a babysitter and go.  Let us know what you think. 

((mel))

[mel]

I'm going to go next Tuesday. I know that is almost a week out from now but with my work schedule (I work overnights 12-13 hours at a time) and my babysitter's schedule (she's a full time college student and babysits for 3 other families), that's the soonest that I will be able to go. I found what appears to be an open meeting that is pretty close by (I didn't realize how many options there are) and the time works well. The only bad part is that now I have that long to dwell on it and work myself up about it!

[SwimDeep]

mel - the first few meetings I attended, I went with (and for) my husband. So, even though I knew what to expect, I still managed to get myself all worked up and anxious for the first (al-anon) meeting I attended for myself.

When I think back on it, though, what I remember about that first meeting is the wonderful peace I felt as I sat "alone" in the group. I didn't say anything - just raised my hand to indicate I was new. A couple of women came up to introduce themselves to me at the end of the meeting, and I said hello and made myself a little sociable. Honestly, it was probably the first moment of true rest I had experienced in a very long time.

Don't forget to breathe!