I am so sorry for those families. Also you must be so shaken. That is such a tragedy.
I really am shaken. I know this is not about me, and I cannot imagine what those poor families are going through, but I am definitely rattled and have had the shakes since I found out.
It was so so close to home for you though... you should be kind to yourself and let yourself have your feelings. Survivors Guilt and PTSD are very VERY real.