Silly Poll: If you'd married the guy you "loved" at 16...

[Deleted]

At 16 I had a giant crush on a guy who turned out later to be gay So, we'd likely be divorced. But he never wanted to date me anyway.

The guy I dated at 17-18 was different. He actually was probably the best match I've dated, other than my current BF. He was super smart, kind, had a good family. We were both involved in things like band, drama, school clubs. He understood the way I thought and I liked that he was such a caring and generally nice guy. It's weird, I can't recall if he was funny. I think we had fun together and we were super attracted to one another, but I don't recall if he had me in stitches or not.

He's a history teacher - or actually, maybe he's no longer a teacher and does something for the school district? He's married and they just had their first baby a few months ago. If we were still together I imagine we'd be happy, though my life would be very different - I would likely live closer to my family (positive) and given he's a family type of guy, I imagine I'd have kids. Which I don't particular want at this point in my life, but if I had married this guy after dating him since HS I imagine my life would have gone in a completely different direction and I'd have been convinced kids were a good idea, and I'd likely be happy with my choice.

Truthfully, I've always thought of him as "the one that got away". Though I am now glad that I am with my current BF and wouldn't choose something different now - the last 14 years of my life probably would have been so different in a positive way if I had stuck with my HS boyfriend. A lot of the shit I went through never would have happened. In other words, I think I would have been a lot better off. Instead, he dumped me and it destroyed me for a long, long time. (sorry for that dark note, lol)

[jojoandleo]

I think the boy I had a crush on (since I didn't date until I was almost 18) was a boy named Travis. I am 75% certain he is gay. His BFF in HS came out shortly after graduation. I have never seen him with a girl, he has NEVER been in a relationship, and he always likes all my gay pride stuff on FB.

What was he like? He was in speech and debate with me.  He was kind of quiet, but really smart.  He was always nice to everyone.  I moved in the middle of HS and didn't have a lot of friends and he was President of our class Senior year, so he was super popular, but he never made me feel like a nerd.  He's a ginger and he has always been a slender, athletic build.
What did you like about him?  Read above-he was always nice to me.  He told me I looked like Shania Twain once at a debate tournament when I was listening to her CD.  LOL.  (No one told me I was pretty except men my father's age until I was 18.  womp womp)
What is he up to now?  He just moved back to the states after living in Cambodia for the last few years.  He joined the Peace Corp right out of college and now he does sometime of volunteer coordinating thing in Seattle.
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?  Um, I would probably be divorced because he is probably gay.  I have no idea-maybe I would have followed him to Missouri to go to college and then into the Peace Corp.  I imagine that's when it would fall apart (if not in college).  I would most certainly not have the amazing circle of friends I have now.  I would probably still be the shy, reserved girl I was in HS.  I don't think I would have found myself.

[jojoandleo]

Sept 23, 2014 16:50:41 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

At 16 I had a giant crush on a guy who turned out later to be gay So, we'd likely be divorced. But he never wanted to date me anyway.

Hello crush twin! LOL. (although, mine isn't CONFIRMED)

[Deleted]

What was he like? I had more credits than him after my first semester as a freshman than he did. He was a year older than me. He also sold pot but then was a reformed christian. Which was a weird combo for my straight edge atheiest self. He wore velour pants before anyone had heard of juicy and he also had airwalks that were made of tennis ball material.

What did you like about him? He really liked me and was actually a fun guy.

What is he up to now? I've been stalking him and it appears he is now an amateur wrestler who makes videos in his backyard.

What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him? Bwahahahahahahahah. I guess filming his videos?

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Oh my god. My high school boyfriend - well, he had a really curly mullet, for starters. I liked him because he liked me. It was literally that simple. After we had been dating a while (well, "a while in teenage years which is actually a grand total of six months) I liked the way he smelled and I think that's the memory that stands out for me. But we had nothing in common. He was really into dungeons and dragons and things like that. I was not. I was into theater and music and he was one of those people who thought he knew a lot about music but he actually didn't.
He was a nice guy, though.
He got married a few years ago. Had a very RenFaire themed wedding and I said good for him that he found a girl who likes that as much as he did. We would've been breaking up and making up every month if we were still together. I do think we would've had some adorably curly-haired cherubic looking babies, though.

[Deleted]

He was fun and laid back, similar to me.

I liked that he always made me laugh.

We dated up until end of sophomore year of college. We  were in a long distance relationship and he told me started liking another girl. He's now married to that girl and they just had a kid. His mom and my mom are actually really great friends and hang out several times per week, so I always know what's going on with him, but haven't seen him in a few years. We keep in touch via Facebook. Another weird thing is that him and his wife had a very similar wedding to me and my ex. They had the same photographer, same first dance song and went on the same honeymoon as we did.

Hmm, I don't think my life would be drastically different. I think that if we had gone to college near each other we probably would've stayed together for a very long time and probably gotten married. 

[abcdefu]

I did marry the guy I was dating at 16 and it turned out horrible! lol :?

[Wanderista]

Haha, I spent most of high school and early college being head over heels about this guy E. We dated off and on for years and it was so intense in that high school way. At one point we were writing each other love letter emails almost daily. I wrote him poems, he gave me books with little handwritten notes in them. It was mega intense and filled with drama. 

What was he like?
Deleted pic but he was cute.

What did you like about him?
I thought he was so hot: great hair, great lips, intense eyes, nice body especially his ass. Actually other things were nice too but I didn't really have anything to compare that to. He was also incredibly smart and capable of being romantic. Also, with the logic of a teenager, I knew he was a Cancer sun sign and so I thought we were meant to be together.   (I'm a Scorpio).
What is he up to now?
He is a geneticist/scientist. He is single and came out after we broke up. I don't pay much attention even though we are FB pals but he is kind of a commitmentphobe/intimacyphobe. I'd be very happy for him if he found someone but I doubt I'd ever tell him that.
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?
Um, he's gay. It would have been a bad idea. I think he did set a standard for the kind of (heterosexual) men I'm attracted to though. He was a good high school boyfriend all things considered.  He really influenced my taste in men ever since. Funnily enough my current boyfriend looks rather a lot like him with a different coloring and has some similarities in terms of intellectual interests & personality.

[redredwine]

I shudder at the thought.

I'm pretty sure he's done a stint or two in jail and/or rehab by now. So, yah, there's my future life for you. Maybe living in a trailer, popping out babies. j/k-that's just not me, no matter how much I liked the guy.

I thought he was soooo hot and so into me (no, not even close, I was just convenient!)

[kitkat1502]

Oh my lol

What was he like?
He was manipulative and didn't respect my feelings or my time, and played a lot of games. He was my first boyfriend and my first "love" and since I had very few friends in high school I put up with pretty much anything from him.

What did you like about him?
I thought he was hot and we laughed a lot together.

What is he up to now?
Not sure what he is doing for work, but he is married to his female best friend from when we were dating, and they have a baby boy.

What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?
I would have never lived in SC for those 6 years, so I'm not sure. I assume I'd be living out in Western NJ near where is family lived and having a very up and down type marriage, much like our dating was. I feel like I would have become whatever it is he wanted me to be because I didn't have a backbone with him.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2014 17:00:53 GMT -5 mp said:

Sept 23, 2014 16:59:29 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

What was he like? I had more credits than him after my first semester as a freshman than he did. He was a year older than me. He also sold pot but then was a reformed christian. Which was a weird combo for my straight edge atheiest self. He wore velour pants before anyone had heard of juicy and he also had airwalks that were made of tennis ball material.

What did you like about him? He really liked me and was actually a fun guy.

What is he up to now? I've been stalking him and it appears he is now an amateur wrestler who makes videos in his backyard.

What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him? Bwahahahahahahahah. I guess filming his videos?

If it wasn't evil, I would ask for you to share them. Instead, I will use my imagination!

Ehhh this is on his public Facebook page. It's no video but you can see how totally into it he is:

[glitzyglow]

I did marry the guy I loved at 16.

What was he like?
To outsiders he was quiet, reserved, intelligent, and a bit intimidating. Definitely looked and at times acted the "bad boy" role. 

What did you like about him?
He was very kind-hearted, sweet-natured, intelligent, and had a witty sense of humor. Not really a bad boy at heart.

What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?
I do know because I did end up with him. We adored each other and we genuinely enjoyed each one another's company. We bought a little house together, took some great vacations together, and overall had a very good life together. He loved spending time with my family and I have great memories of all of us camping, going on hikes, cooking out, holidays, etc. Every month or so we also took a weekend to go visit his grandparents in the next state and to date those are some of my favorite memories. If we weren't with family or friends, we spent our free weekends driving around the countryside checking out little old towns and abandoned buildings, shopping flea markets, walking through state wildlife reserves and parks, hanging out downtown, and whatever else might be going on. Week nights we normally ate dinner at home and chilled. We argued now and then, but honestly we got along very well for the most part.

What is he up to now?
Sadly, he either has a mental illness or major demons (I lean heavily toward mental illness) that reared its ugly head and he has taken a nose dive into a very rough life. He went from being a great husband to someone I could not recognize. The marriage ended because he had an affair and stole money from our savings account. Since the divorce he has been jailed at least 2x that I know of and dealt with alcohol and drug abuse. He has been homeless several times and he has had his vehicle repossessed. He is heavily in debt and basically running from his creditors. He appears to also suffer from depression and severe anxiety (among other things) that seem to prevent him from taking steps to change his life, so the cycle keeps repeating itself. I have a great deal of pity for him.

[WinterIsComing]

Ha, in hindsight I should have stayed with and married my hs/college boyfriend. He ended up being a great, successful guy. At the time I was just young and wanted to be free.

What was he like?

Kind of nerdy. We met on the high school debate team. I didn't even give him the time of day when we first met but he had a great personality which grew on me. He was super smart, ambitious, funny. 

What did you like about him?

In hindsight, he was really the ideal boyfriend - really loyal, love me so much. We had a great time just talking and laughing. We dated my senior year of high school and first two years of college. I completely broke his heart when I dumped him. There was nothing wrong with our relationship but I wanted to date around and flirt with other guys. I totally threw away a really good thing.

What is he up to now?

He is married and had a son about a year ago. He finished his masters and has done really well for himself professionally. He is super high in his company for someone his age. He lives reasonably close to me so I have run into him a few times and we are facebook friends.

What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?

Honestly, it probably would have been exactly the life I wanted. If I hadn't dumped him, I imagine we would have got married a few years after college, had at least one kid by now. Silly 20 year old me!

[blanca]

Wanderista, he's really cute

[jigsy]

What was he like?
My best guy friend in high school was C. We flirted, went to dances, had a few dates, but never really moved passed the friend zone. I didn't really date anyone in high school. He was popular, everyone loved him. He is just really gregarious and fun.

What did you like about him?
He was just a good guy. Fun, didn't judge people, was nice to everyone.

What is he up to now?
He is still in Utah, doing pretty well for himself. He got divorced 6 months before I split. He reached out when I separated, and I think he would be interested in dating if Utah was a possible landing place for me.

What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?
I would probably be the good Mormon wife, maybe have a kid. Honestly, I think I would be happy, even though it would be totally different from my current life.

Bonus high school picture, so bad- lol

[Deleted]

What was he like? Tall, handsome and nerdy. Incredibly kind and sweet, so loving. Also a total and complete doormat. He was a bag boy and made straight As. He drew me funny little cartoons in notes and would leave them for me in my locker, car, backpack, purse. He also brought me roses every week. Basically, a perfect HS boyfriend.
What did you like about him? See above.
What is he up to now? He had a job with NASA for a long time, til things went belly-up. Now he works for the patent office in DC. He's married, they have dogs. He's joined a beard club.
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him? Well, it would be miserable. I'd be a raging control freak and he'd be my yes-man. I'd have to be the assertive one, making all of the decisions. We would already have kids, probably. (shrug) Probably nothing remarkable.

[moonlight]

You all know my story here. I'm sure we'd be really happy.

[achase123]

Sept 23, 2014 16:26:47 GMT -5 mp said:

(Or whatever high school boy you can think of.)

What was he like?
What did you like about him?
What is he up to now?
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?



My guy - his name was M. I was in looooove. Even though I was dating my exH. (I broke up with exH for M but then got back together with exH because he was a safer choice.)

He was the TOTAL bad boy. At 18 - he smoked weed, slept around. But, he adored me. I broke his heart when I got back with exH.

When I got divorced I had this fantasy of he and I ending up together. We added each other on FB - he's still super duper hot.

But - he's had a few serious injuries due to bike riding (not motorcycles). His brain is less smart because of them. He works at a retail bike shop, making under $30K. He's turned into my grandpa - posting ranting conservative website links with a bunch of unverified claims. He ended up dating some girl that also works at his bike shop - and just knocked her up. Man, I wish I could post a photo of them. He's so cute ... and she is SO crunchy. And not cute.

I would be miserable. Living in some small mountain town with our dogs and a kid or two. Angry that he was lazy and had no motivation in life. I'm sure I'd be divorced, too. But -the sex woulda been hot!

The guy I was dating at 16 was my first love. High school football star, good 'ol all American boy. He was very handsome in high school. Very sweet, calm and he was a good balance For me. We were a good couple and it was a very mature, healthy relationship.

I liked that he was a great compliment to me and was s good listener. My family loved him too. He was just an all around great person.

I think now he's married with. 2 year old little boy. He's balding and put on about 40 lbs. he really had his prime years when we were dating :/

If I had ended up with him I wouldn't have been happy. He was too introverted. He isn't a risk taker and he would've held me back. I don't think he would've understood my goals or career aspirations. I essentially "outgrew" him.

Great guy but the relationship has its time and I'm happy it ended when it did. No regrets!

[pinkdutchtulips]

What was he like?
tall, cute, very nice, never tried anything w/ me (which was great bc i had a VERY limited dating hx before him) oh did i mention that he was the older brother of one of my younger brother's friends lol

What did you like about him?
he was super patient w me ! never pressured me to do anything sexually (see below for why)

What is he up to now?
not sure .. we lost touch after dating off and on for nearly 5 years .... he came out in 2000/2001

What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?
we would be divorced .... gay/straight marriages never work

Read more: pandce.proboards.com/thread/371830/silly-poll-married-guy-loved#ixzz3ECO1f9CH

[Deleted]

My HS sweetheart was the boy that lived across the street from me.  Our parents are still neighbors.  He was a good kid, sweet and innocent.  His mother on the other hand was a raging lunatic (still is).  He was not really a go getter, though.  I think he graduated from college?  He works for the government in a mediocre position.  He married the next girl he dated (she went to my high school and was a year younger than me).  They met because they worked together at the local library.  
If I'd stayed with him, I'd have a mediocre and very boring life and a BSC MIL.  I think I'd be miserable.  Meh..once I met my college bf, I broke up with him and never looked back..not even a little. 

[moonlight]

Sept 23, 2014 16:26:47 GMT -5 mp said:

(Or whatever high school boy you can think of.)

What was he like?
What did you like about him?
What is he up to now?
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?

I'll answer now that I'm on my computer.

He was perfect to me. He was kind and sensitive, but also outgoing and friendly. He was physical perfection and probably one of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen. He was incredibly talented and full of determination. And he had a little bit of a rebellious streak. We used to kiss sometimes but mostly we were just friends who loved each other from afar and didn't know the other felt the same and we were too shy to actually make anything happen.

He told me he was in love with me in our early 20s. I should have told him I was in love with him too, we should have kissed, gotten married and lived happily ever after. But at that point I was too focused on material things and I didn't think he could give me what I wanted. So I married the WRONG person instead, and he had a string of bad relationships until he also married the wrong person. We were pining for each other the entire time and never knew.

We are both currently miserable and hoping to finally fix our mistakes and have a second chance.

If I ended up with him we'd probably be married, have a couple of kids, be dirt poor and really happy.

[becwheat]

What was he like?
He was tall, had a swimmers body, sandy blonde hair... He was very athletic and confident. He was also a typical young, good looking guy and was kind of shallow.
What did you like about him?
I had a crush on him since elementary school. I first liked him cause we were friends and had fun together and over time he changed and I basically lusted after him. Thinking back I know he was kind of a cocky bastard in HS. He was my homecoming escort and was always nice to me, but he chose to actually date someone else because I was too innocent for him. At least he was honest and nice about it. He was always nicer to me than other girls cause we were friends and his mom loved me.
What is he up to now?
I am totally sure, but I know he coaches baseball and has a very pretty girlfriend. He is balding now, but still handsome.
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?
I probably would have gone to college closer to him or traveled every weekend to see him. Even though I am sure we would have had some good times we would have crumbled. He would have cheated, and even if he wouldn't have I would have always been worried about it. I think I knew him too well to ever trust him lol. Good friend, bad boyfriend.

[prettyinpearls]

What was he like?  I had a crush on him from the first day of 7th grade. He was a new kid at our school and I was immediately smitten. He had brown hair, brown eyes, and an amazing smile full of straight white teeth. He was a country boy and I loved that about him. I wasn't quite 16 when we dated but I'll use him as the example since he's the only guy I've ever liked for years before we dated and still think he's awesome.

What did you like about him? He was so cute. He was a country boy. He drove a truck. He worked on a farm.

What is he up to now? He's married and has two adorable daughters. I'm not sure what he does for work, but from the photos I see on FB he looks really happy and like he has it all. Very happy for him!

 
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him? I'd be more religious. He comes from a very Christian family and their life is God centered. Other than that, it would be pretty much the same. We live in the same area, we both have kids, we both like the country life.

[gozf]

What was he like?  He was three years older than me.  He was extremely outgoing and energetic, and a lot of fun.  He was also kind of scamm-y and money hungry, which was not my favorite.  He had a 1980 Camaro, and it was hilarious.
What did you like about him?  I liked that he had always planned something fun to do.  I liked that he was spontaneous and that there were frequent road trips.  I liked that he was a good dancer.  I liked that we laughed a lot.  I loved his friends and family.
What is he up to now?  He's married and living in Texas.  He and his wife own several investment properties.  He used to be an agent out in Los Angeles, but he left that life several years ago.  We don't keep in touch, but our parents are still friends (hell, I'm still friends with his parents), so I get the updates.
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?  Honestly,not great.  I think he was a fundamentally good person who was sometimes a real asshole.  I think that his LA life and the person he was at that time would not have been my cup of tea.  And I think we'd both be unhappy.  He and I dated on and off from the time I was 15-18, but weren't ever really serious.  We'd take breaks, and on those breaks we'd hook up with other people, sometimes people in our friend group.  No one got jealous or weird.  The last time we got back together, though, towards the end of my senior year of HS, he got really serious, and I wasn't there.  I loved him with all my heart, because he was my best friend, and we had a great time.  But I don't think I was ever in love with him.  We remained friends for several years, but that became too hard after a while and now we don't talk.  Had we stayed together after I went away to college, I don't think it would have been a happy relationship, and I doubt very much that we'd still be together today.  Sometimes, I really miss him!  I've thought about friending him on FB, but I feel weird about it.  Our friendship ended kind of sadly and badly.

[riverpestie]

What was he like? He was SO much fun!!! We did so many crazy things together without a care in the world!
What did you like about him? Everything. He was sooo amazing! LOL. 
What is he up to now? He lives in Taiwan. Teaches English. I went to visit him in 2010. We had a GREAT time. He is also in a band and they're pretty awesome. 
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him? I think we would have still be acting crazy, having fun and exploring the world. 

[seabitch]

Sept 23, 2014 17:11:01 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

I did marry the guy I was dating at 16 and it turned out horrible! lol :?

Ha, me too!  Not exactly horrid, but definitely loveless.  <---- is that a word?  And eventually one sided.

[cam13]

What was he like?
What did you like about him?
What is he up to now?
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?

I did marry the guy I loved at 16 and I think that contributed to why we divorced! XH at 16 was funny, charming, and sweet. There were warning signs that at 16 I totally explained or excused, which I chalk up to being so young. I liked that he just got me and being with him felt like I was home. It wasn't fireworks and butterflies, it was an overwhelming sense of finding a place where I belonged. We got married at 23 and split up at 29. In the 6 years we were married, we dealt with so much that it took a toll on both us individually and our marriage. Now he's currently engaged to the OW and they live somewhere in the area.

I'm not unhappy with how my life has turned out, our marriage had it's good parts and while the divorce was devastating, it really was the best thing for me. I can't really imagine what my life would have been like if we hadn't married. Although I guess I'd be married with kids by this point.

[onedayatatime]

What was he like?
What did you like about him?
What is he up to now?
What do you think your life would look like if you'd ended up with him?

I had a crush on him for the first two years of high school - then he moved to a different city.  He was the boy-next-door type.  Slightly nerdy, very friendly.  All around a sweet guy.  He was cute in HS (nice eyes, nice smile) now he is hot.

He got a masters in aerospace engineering and works on designing/building airplanes.

My life would be much more active - hiking/biking etc.  I think he would have been a better match for me than XH - his wife is his close friend and they have friends outside of that.  That was what I wanted with XH and thought I had - but really he kept a lot of secrets and compartmentalized people in his life.