ML, How Do I Handle This?

[picklepie09]

I have never heard of someone referring to a Godbrother.. godsister or anything of that sort. Maybe its a geography thing??? I got stuck on that. I have to go read more.

[idoinjuly]

So, what exactly would you like to happen? Do you want them to send him with extra cash to hand over to you to go towards your increased grocery expense? Or do you want him to use the money to pick up take out while you and your husband eat home cooked food? I'm not trying to be snarky, I promise. It's just so ackward all around. Do you want them to change his flight to come home earlier?

[picklepie09]

It is rude for them to not send himw ith money. DO you really think they would do that? This may be a non issue. they may have every intention of sending him with money. I wuold call Godmother directly and just say "I figured I would call you directly to get the logistics. He is coming for how many nights? And will he be sent with some cash for expenses meals etc.. Just trying to plan my budget" I am sure god mom willl say "oh yes I am sending him with $200 spending money.. when its gone its gone" or something along those lines.

[cheesierthanchedda]

Jul 27, 2012 13:50:58 GMT -5 picklepie09 said:

It is rude for them to not send himw ith money. DO you really think they would do that? This may be a non issue. they may have every intention of sending him with money. I wuold call Godmother directly and just say "I figured I would call you directly to get the logistics. He is coming for how many nights? And will he be sent with some cash for expenses meals etc.. Just trying to plan my budget" I am sure god mom willl say "oh yes I am sending him with $200 spending money.. when its gone its gone" or something along those lines.

I like this. You can even phrase it around making sure you have food he likes.

[Deleted]

For when this happens the next time (because it sounds like it probably will) you need to tell your mom "have them call me and I'll see what I can do" and when tickets are bought that don't fit the original plan call right away and say "Last time we spoke I thought it was agreed that he'd be leaving Friday, the itinerary you sent says Sunday - what happened?" and probably "I don't think that's going to work for us."

Although I'm willing to bet your mom told them Sunday would be no big deal, you'd love to spend the weekend with him and didn't tell you. Which is why in the future, don't plan through her.

I'd suggest starting the call to your godmother with "I'm just realizing you and I should have spoke directly about this trip sooner. There's a few things my mom probably didn't mention to you that I'm worried about" Hopefully your godmother is reasonable.

[sprky79]

Jul 27, 2012 13:46:45 GMT -5 idoinjuly said:

So, what exactly would you like to happen? Do you want them to send him with extra cash to hand over to you to go towards your increased grocery expense? Or do you want him to use the money to pick up take out while you and your husband eat home cooked food? I'm not trying to be snarky, I promise. It's just so ackward all around. Do you want them to change his flight to come home earlier?

I have a combination of This plus Snips' comment. What is it that you want your mother to do here? Give you money directly? Have her go to your Godmother and get money from her and then give it to you? I don't get it.

You don't want to spend the money to feed and entertain this kid, that's fine. But you agreed to have him over. So, I'm not sure what you're looking for here...

[chedominique]

Jul 27, 2012 13:46:45 GMT -5 idoinjuly said:

So, what exactly would you like to happen? Do you want them to send him with extra cash to hand over to you to go towards your increased grocery expense? Or do you want him to use the money to pick up take out while you and your husband eat home cooked food? I'm not trying to be snarky, I promise. It's just so ackward all around. Do you want them to change his flight to come home earlier?

I understand, don't worry .

I know the flight is non-refundable, so I'm trying to work around that. I'm almost like have the extra cash to increase the grocery expense so we can spend it on the extra food. I don't see the point of him going out everyday, because he will be spending more money. I will ask his Mom what he eats. I know he eats whatever we eat, but I don't want to torture him with eating chicken or spaghetti for 5 days straight, lol.

Pickle - The logical sense would be to give him money for the trip. After the comment my Mom made when I first approached her with this, something tells me he is only going to have money for gifts, not food. Also, we are from VA, so it Godbrother and sister might be. I dunno .

Both my Mom and his Mom and headstrong, so Pickle & Snip's way is more calmer for them. I like it! My H doesn't want me to, but I may go through my Godmother instead (makes more sense)

[kellbell191]

I agree with snips that you're caught up in principle which is letting this affect you more than it normally might.

If it were me? I would call godmom and level. "This is terribly embarrassing, but I know teenage boys eat a lot and I'm concerned we can't afford to keep him full the whole time. I cna take him to the store so he has some stuff he likes, but unfortunately we're just not in a position to front the food bill right now."