Do your parents and inlaws do this?

[SJ]

Oh yes. Both my mother and my mother-in-law love to decorate and rearrange rooms. They care far more than I do.

Sometimes we push back, sometimes we change it back after they leave, and sometimes they have great suggestions that we love.

[chickadee77]

I can tell that my MIL bites her tongue sometimes. But she redecorates her house seasonally, so when she does say something, I take it with a grain of salt. Ain't nobody got time to redecorate that much. (Except her, apparantly, lol.)

[ECB]

Yeah, ditto Merida - start asking if they are paying, or say "Great, I'll give you the bill! Thanks for offering!".

[gibbinator]

Mil is obsessed with what we really need is a hard top camping trailer. And did you know we can put it on a payment plan like a car?
She forgets I'm making next to no income, we have 3 more years of daycare, and actually like tenting.
Every time the subject of camping comes up she brings this up. Whhhyyyyyyy?

[Deleted]

My mom likes decorating and may have made comments, but I don't remember them ever annoying me. My sister said I should paint my trim and I told her that'd be great if she wants to do it or write the check.

My SMIL has suggested where we should place gifts she's gotten us--in rooms that are completely different styles than the gift. That didn't happen.

[changedname]

No, but I do it to my MIL all the time LOL. I can see so many ways they can make their house way nicer (they are putting on the market soon). I bite my tongue mostly though and just tell dh.

My aunt does it to me and I get mad. When she stays she is also one of those who reorganizes my kitchen cupboards etc. RAGE.

[kershnic]

My mom is obsessed with wanting us to buy a china cabinet and where we should put it. She also really wanted us to buy a kitchen island thing, but I think she finally gave that up.

I would never in a million years make these types of suggestions to my inlaws, but I definitely would to my parents.

[mlt]

Yes, yes, YES! And it's gotten worse lately. We have been renting in the city for years. They are so pushy, trying to get us to buy. "So you can finally make it nice," my mom said. Thanks? "So you can get settled," says MIL. I didnt know I was unsettled? "So you can have a decent kitchen," says FIL. Ouch! For people who are SO anxious for us to buy and move, you'd think they'd offer $$$ for a downpayment or to pay down my student loans. But no. They'd rather make rude comments (free!).

[Deleted]

Not now because they like my new house, but when we first bought our first house my MIL was like " Oooh it's tiny like an apartment" and when we lived in apartments NOTHING we had was good enough for them. They told EVERYONE we were poor and didn't have a " pot to piss in" but never offered a DIME to us and made H feel bad about not treating them to dinner on several occaisions. BTW we were 23 and 28. We were poor because we were just starting out. Jeez.

[leonard131]

We must have the same parents. They do this all the time. I know if kills my dad to come to our house and not be able to "fix" something. It was really hard when I first got married because he was so use to coming to my house and helping me with stuff.

If he is ever left alone in the house he comes up with a list of suggestions like tightening the toliet seat, getting more lamps, changing the light bulbs to higher watts, fixing the banister. The list goes on. My mom can't help but comment about the kitchen everytime she is at our house.

[Deleted]

Sept 29, 2014 8:31:28 GMT -5 oceanspray said:

@savestheday that's terrible!

She's a bitch. She's also on my BEC list... so yeah... it's awesome. 

[Ashley&Scott]

It drove my mom nuts when we didn't have anything hanging on the walls, so she would comment on that. (The first year in our house we had like 2 things up) Now that we have things on the walls she doesn't say anything

MIL doesn't really comment on things at our house. I think she does at SIL's though.

[badtzmaru22]

ILs do all the time. They are always suggesting we get some giant piece of furniture when it's clear we don't have room. They make comments all the time about how we should build a Murphy bed in our basement since we have so many guests (and just an air mattress, albeit a nice one!) there is NO space, not even for a nice pull out couch.

It's even worse since it's not like accommodations are any fancier at their house. I had to sleep on an air mattress there at eight months pregnant because they would have been so offended if we had stayed an extra day with my family.

[Marmee]

My MIL, no never. My Dad, no but he'd never lift a finger anyway. I'm jealous that people have handy relatives. My mom is OCD to the core & yes she can't help herself from suggesting things. She'd buy too & try to help (though she's got bad knees & back so her helping is barking orders at us). She's calmed down some over the years (we've done a lot if work on our homes) and doesn't say a ton now. And I've learned to not be so defensive (I used to be) and just roll with it.

[sjh722]

My mom does this. I usually just joke that "Yep, that would be nice but I don't have $1K/$3K/$10K to do that!"

My MIL is the opposite. She couldn't believe we remodeled our house before we moved in and took out perfectly good cabinets. And why waste money on new appliances? She's sure she knows someone getting rid of a stove or fridge if we want one! (Perfectly good = cabinets from the 1970s that were falling apart and had already been refaced once, in the early 90s. Beyond repair.)

[UnderProtest]

My mom does the same thing. She even went to the extreme to tell me I needed to remodel the guest bathroom because it was too small for her. She shut up quickly when I asked where in the house I would get this extra space. She also thought I should turn my master bathroom into a jack and jill bathroom because the nursery/office bedroom didn't have a bathroom near it. Needless to say, NONE of her suggestions were taken. Now with the new house, she has just taken to bitching about the electricity issues in the bathrooms (you can't use a hair dryer in them because of the voltage), but she doesn't say as much because we are renting now. She is the type to never be pleased.

My mother in law just buys us the things she thinks we should have in our house despite having completely opposite tastes and no room for her crap. She bought a lovely framed hockey jersey for my husband as his father's day gift (uhmm, yeah, his mom buys him a gift) and told us where we should hang it. Yeah, no, not happening. She also bought my kids a Disney themed toy storage bookshelf for which we had no room. That promptly went back to the store without receipt.

[mpc]

my mom just buys furniture and decor stuff and shows up with it. she's also been known to rearrange my furniture when I wasn't looking.

[zarapipe]

no. My parents just aren't into decorating or re-doing their house and either are the IL's. Dh is in construction and we are always doing something to our house. I do it to my parents though I was stoked when they got rid of their 20 year old couch. nasty.

[heygrey]

not really... my mil just comments incessantly about the mthings were lacking in the kitchen. usually she buys it for us and I either keep or donate after she leaves. i do really love the silicone tips tongs she bought. I put my foot down, and enlist h's help, when she tries to buy us Costco size anything. we have no storage space, and I don't want 30 rolls of paper towels when I maybe use 2 a year.

[simpsongal]

Our house is a constant work in progress and both parents know that. Sometimes FIL says we should do something and I think - yeah, let me get right on that.

My folks usually take on a few projects when they visit, so their "should be done" projects are done by them

[marie3246]

My MIL does this all the time. She redecorates her house seasonally and has no concept of money. Luckily we don't see her often.

[badtzmaru22]

My mom does it too, but on a smaller scale. She has started just showing up with things, mainly kitchen utensils. "You don't have a frosting knife? How do you frost cakes!!?!?!?" I don't make cakes? We also have a new thing for scrambling eggs, a thing for cleaning that looks like an old toothbrush, but is from Pampered Chef, and giant forks to lift a roast out of a pan- but we have actually used those at times when my parents aren't even here, so they have been useful. Oh and she brought over some Dawn foaming fancy dish soap, since apparently Wegmans brand isn't good enough.

I can't really complain though, because this means she and my dad are cooking and washing dishes when they visit, and I appreciate the help, even if it means we have to have all the random shit they have at their house because they're used to certain tools.

[teatimefor2]

My parents, but they follow through. They were just in town and my dad said your windows are dirty, then he went out purchased windex and cleaned them?. I actually felt bad about this.....

He has the knowledge and tools, that we don't have. They also gave us $1k when we moved in for upgrades.

Basically, I listen and use the good ideas. But I'm lucky, I know that. My dad LOVES a project and my DH doesn't have the time.

[teatimefor2]

My parents, but they follow through. They were just in town and my dad said your windows are dirty, then he went out purchased windex and cleaned them?. I actually felt bad about this.....

He has the knowledge and tools, that we don't have. They also gave us $1k when we moved in for upgrades.

Basically, I listen and use the good ideas. But I'm lucky, I know that. My dad LOVES a project and my DH doesn't have the time.

[teatimefor2]

My parents, but they follow through. They were just in town and my dad said your windows are dirty, then he went out purchased windex and cleaned them?. I actually felt bad about this.....

He has the knowledge and tools, that we don't have. They also gave us $1k when we moved in for upgrades.

Basically, I listen and use the good ideas. But I'm lucky, I know that. My dad LOVES a project and my DH doesn't have the time.

[pinkdutchtulips]

this makes me glad that 1- I never had in-laws and 2- that my parents don't give a crap !

[dragonfly08]

My ILs are pretty good at minding their own business about the house. Then again, we did a MAJOR renovation on our house, and while we hired a contractor to do excavation, framing and drywall, DH did 100% of the plumbing, electrical and installation himself and it took close to two years. His parents respect that there's only so much time, energy and money to go around so they don't make suggestions for additional things.

My mom, on the other hand, is constantly saying we should do this or buy that. Usually I ignore her, it's just her nature. She doesn't let pesky things like lack of money in the budget stop her. When I get pissed off enough I tell her we'd be glad to, if she's buying. That either shuts her up, or starts an argument about the fact that we "could" afford it if we wanted to (and she's right...we could, if we wanted to carry a CC balance or spend our e-fund both of which she'd do in a heartbeat which is why she can't understand why we won't).

[wanderlustmom]

FIL does this, it's terrible. Luckily he gets a hotel when he comes. He clearly hates our house and thinks we aren't taking good care of it and should upgrade. He even looks at real estate listings and doesn't see why we want to keep our mortgage smaller. My dad and both of our moms say nothing but positive. It's really sweet. Our house is basic and modest with lots of overgrown yard and they make DH and I feel like it's the most beautiful home. My mom always says she loves the energy. I hope to be that way to my kids because FIL hurts my feelings.

[hrp22]

My parents don't, but they've never really helped out with anything around our house. His parents do, but his dad is more focused on what he'd do if he lived there, which is turn every old house with character into a remuddled one room mess. His mom focuses more on my house duties and lets me know what needs to be cleaned. "Oh , looks like somebody didn't pick up the toys out in the yard last night" "......."you'd better start looking to buy a toilet, nobody would ever buy your house with that dirty thing". ......... " you need to water your plants" Says the stay at home housewife with a house cleaner that spends 12 hours in her home a month.

[bunch]

My mother does and I shut.her.down. Decorating is a big hobby of mine and she has a totally different style, so I resent her suggestions. I can tell my dad is bugged by undone projects. He works on them himself if we leave him alone here with the kids. I don't mind because he only does things that he knows we want done.

My ILs never have or would. I'm still convinced my MIL is terrified of me. She's also not into decorating.