Who do you agree with? Me or husband?

[VillainV]

For naps, we definitely give up if it's clear he isn't going to sleep. At bedtime (and overnight) we try really hard not to take C out of the crib, but sometimes we'll put him in his bouncer when he wakes up in the middle of the night (like right now he has the sniffles, so the incline helps). For a wile we were bringing him into our bed to go back to sleep, but we talked it through and stopped doing it.

I think a bedtime routine is really important, and for young babies night time is kind of sacred. Once you decide it's "bedtime" you need to keep the baby in a dark, quiet place and limit human interaction (laughs, smiles, etc) so they get the idea that night time is sleepy time, not play time.

ETA: we will usually leave C in his crib if he's awake and just chilling (or making minor fussy noises, but not full-out crying).  Sometimes he starts talking up a storm and we'll go back in there to make sure he doesn't have a wet diaper or whatever.  But if he's laying quietly, we just let him continue to chill up there.

[bowies]

Team you. My H gives up easily too. Sleep training should be fun in a few months.

[Pilsy]

I’ll bite.


I agree with you. Unless you put her to bed ridiculously early, I think it’s counter-productive to get her back up again. I mean, she will go to sleep, she’s just taking a while. And it sounds like she was fussy at worst, not screaming her head off, so it’s not like it’s a move of desperation.

I have to be careful to pick my battles, too, but I would go ahead and speak with my husband about this one. Not in an accusatory way, but in the let’s-get-on-the-same-page way because consistency is key with a lot of this stuff.

She is super cute, by the way!

[MadamePresident]

There have been many times I will give up on bedtime and try again later. Accepting that bed or naptime won't work and trying again later is less frustrating to me than trying to force it. But it's usually only after a couple attempts at sleep. I'm not always tired at the exact same time every day, so I don't expect my kids to be either.

[Deleted]

Was she fussing or crying? Probably team you.

[hermione]

Meh. I don't critique my husband's decisions simply because I don't want him to critique mine.

That said, we almost always get her out of bed if she's awake. Our motto around here is #bedtimeisforchumps.

[Jalapeñomel]

I've done both.

[soozy87]

No, once he is in his bed for the night he stays there. We have sleep trained though, I don't know if you guys have done that or not. If she hadn't been in there long and maybe just thinks it was a nap it might be fine.

[kangaroo11]

We actually just had this today! I put her in for a nap at 1:15. By 2 she wasn't asleep so DH said he'd get her out. I said she's not crying so why bother? Another 15 minutes and she was asleep.

[Brie]

Team you, especially if she was happy in the crib.

We realllly try to encourage him to enjoy being in his crib, awake or asleep. Over time he has come to use it for "down time" a lot even if he doesn't sleep. If he refuses a nap, he gets quiet time in his crib for awhile and he's at a point where he gets it. He will play with his stuffed animals or sing to himself usually.

[ssmjlm]

The most we did was hold her and rock/walk around the 2nd floor. We never brought her downstairs or tried to stimulate her.

DH was good at reminding me that sometimes adults don't fall asleep right away and the same goes for babies. Shoot my kid was rolling around for 25mins tonight after we put her to bed.

[cricketwife]

I feel like your question and description are different - at least in our house they are. We get DS up "it's clear that they aren't going to sleep." We do not get him up if he's "fussy and playing a little bit," although, in our house it would be "fussy" OR "playing" but not both at the same time.

[zarapipe]

You

[Velar Fricative]

Usually we don't, but there were times that something just didn't feel right and we thought it best to take her out for a little bit. Maybe that's just what you're H was thinking?

So, Team Switzerland I guess.

[bazinga]

Unless she is really crying, we leave her in her crib. Going into her room only gets her more upset.

[booboo173]

It depends on the situation. Before we sleep trained I used to get him back up if it didn't look like he was going to sleep. Now I only do this for naps if he's sitting and it's clear he's not in the sleeping mood

[t]

If she was happy in the crib, I would have left her there. If she was screaming her head off, and I tried to get her to settle and go to sleep without success, then I would probably bring her downstairs for a few minutes until she settled and then try bedtime again.

I'd probably do (and have done) the same thing in the MOTN or with an extremely early wake-up.

[irishbride2]

Oct 5, 2014 19:52:04 GMT -5 t said:

If she was happy in the crib, I would have left her there. If she was screaming her head off, and I tried to get her to settle and go to sleep without success, then I would probably bring her downstairs for a few minutes until she settled and then try bedtime again.

I'd probably do (and have done) the same thing in the MOTN or with an extremely early wake-up.

This is for us, too. 

[ladygrey]

Team you, unless she was absolutely freaking the f out.

[kategm]

Oct 5, 2014 19:13:27 GMT -5 MadamePresident said:

There have been many times I will give up on bedtime and try again later. Accepting that bed or naptime won't work and trying again later is less frustrating to me than trying to force it. But it's usually only after a couple attempts at sleep. I'm not always tired at the exact same time every day, so I don't expect my kids to be either.

Team your H. For the above reason exactly. But there's no real "awake but happy" crib moments for us.

[h]

Oct 5, 2014 19:16:46 GMT -5 hermione said:

Meh. I don't critique my husband's decisions simply because I don't want him to critique mine.

That said, we almost always get her out of bed if she's awake. Our motto around here is #bedtimeisforchumps.

I am basically here.

[h]

Oct 5, 2014 19:56:31 GMT -5 kategm said:

Oct 5, 2014 19:13:27 GMT -5 MadamePresident said:

There have been many times I will give up on bedtime and try again later. Accepting that bed or naptime won't work and trying again later is less frustrating to me than trying to force it. But it's usually only after a couple attempts at sleep. I'm not always tired at the exact same time every day, so I don't expect my kids to be either.

Team your H. For the above reason exactly. But there's no real "awake but happy" crib moments for us.

This, too. For our kids, being awake in the crib has always meant shrieking as though a pack of wild dogs is pulling you apart by the limbs. If awake but happy were something I had ever actually experienced, I might be more inclined to let them be.

[jenn248]

Team Gravy. There are times when DD will play happily in her crib for 30-40 min after we turn out the lights. She always goes to sleep eventually.

[deo]

Meh, I try to leave them but there have been a few times where I have gotten them out of their crib when they aren't obviously falling asleep.


I might be annoyed but I definitely wouldn't make a giant fight out of it. There are other things to worry about.

[countthestars]

We will get her or of the crib with dim lights and read a little more if she is not settling herself but hell to the NO at coming back downstairs in our house in those circumstances (or mostly ever).

[Deleted]

Oct 5, 2014 19:56:31 GMT -5 kategm said:

Oct 5, 2014 19:13:27 GMT -5 MadamePresident said:

There have been many times I will give up on bedtime and try again later. Accepting that bed or naptime won't work and trying again later is less frustrating to me than trying to force it. But it's usually only after a couple attempts at sleep. I'm not always tired at the exact same time every day, so I don't expect my kids to be either.

Team your H. For the above reason exactly. But there's no real "awake but happy" crib moments for us.

I am here. I've taken my kids out after awhile of wide awake and happy in their cribs at bed/naptime. 
I know my kids well enough to know that if they're not out in 10 minutes, I will have screaming inconsolable children before a half hour is up. 

I'd also rather get something else done in that half hour than fight bedtime. Usually if I take them out, wait a bit and put them back in they go to sleep ASAP. 

FWIW, both of my kids have never had a problem putting themselves to sleep as a result IF they are actually tired. One stays asleep quiet well...and the other...is...um....getting better about it.  

[Deleted]

The bedtime routine is sacrosanct in our house. If she goes into bed, she has to stay in bed. (My DH takes this way more seriously than I do too.)

My kid (now 3.5) isn't always the best sleep-through-other-nighter. And she pulls plenty of shenanigans during the day. But she doesn't even TRY to mess around with bedtime.

[degal99]

We've done both. We have a fairly good sleeper though, and if she's not going to sleep quickly, she's usually not tired.

[rt2008]

Team you, depending on how early you put her to bed.

DD has had a 7 p.m. bedtime since she was 3-4 months old.  Sometimes she falls asleep right away (especially since switching to one nap) and sometimes she plays in there for a while before falling asleep, but we do not ever get her out if she's not sleeping in a certain amount of time. 

[scribellesam]

No, I don't like to bring him back out after bedtime unless there were special circumstances. Even if he were sick or screaming bloody murder, I'd sit in the darkened nursery with him, not take him back out into the light and noise.