So how is everyone doing??

[flex]

It's been so quiet here lately.

[arch01]

Well, we made it through our first week without DH. The house didn't burn down, we have clean underwear, and we each (attempted) to eat 3 meals a day. So, yay? LOL

I'm struggling with MIL right now who is in complete denial. I had a hard time not losing my shit on her yesterday when she said that she didn't understand why he didn't "just stop" and why DH drank last weekend even after he made the decision to get help.

Otherwise-I feel better today. Could be the 10 miles I ran this morning in the peace and quiet of the early morning, or it could be that I am getting used to the logistics of everything. I'm anxious to talk to the nurse to answer the 30 minute long background questioning. I'm also waiting to hear back from the case manager-apparently DH is getting moved at some point soon (maybe yesterday actually), but I have no info. MIL did her background questioning this weekend and was the one to tell me this.

[flex]

This is good news arch01. I'm so glad things are progressing, and that you're feeling better. Exercise helps tremendously!

And please try not mad at your MIL (too much). "Normies" don't understand why alcoholics/addicts act the way "we" do. It's useless to try to explain the inexplicable.

[malibu]

I hate my life. That's about all I can get out today.

[flex]

Oct 6, 2014 15:43:46 GMT -5 malibu said:

I hate my life. That's about all I can get out today.

Oh man.  I'm so sorry malibu.  You need more than hair pets.  I'm giving you zombie hugs!   (hug)   (hug2)

[arch01]

Oct 6, 2014 15:12:05 GMT -5 flex said:

This is good news arch01. I'm so glad things are progressing, and that you're feeling better. Exercise helps tremendously!

And please try not mad at your MIL (too much). "Normies" don't understand why alcoholics/addicts act the way "we" do. It's useless to try to explain the inexplicable.

Thanks-I know I shouldn't be mad at her, but in the moment it's tough. I hope one day that she sees the reality, but I know in the back of my mind that may be days, months, years, or never. 

[arch01]

Oct 6, 2014 15:43:46 GMT -5 malibu said:

I hate my life. That's about all I can get out today.

Hugs

[btay]

Oct 6, 2014 17:46:45 GMT -5 arch01 said:

Oct 6, 2014 15:12:05 GMT -5 flex said:

This is good news arch01. I'm so glad things are progressing, and that you're feeling better. Exercise helps tremendously!

And please try not mad at your MIL (too much). "Normies" don't understand why alcoholics/addicts act the way "we" do. It's useless to try to explain the inexplicable.

Thanks-I know I shouldn't be mad at her, but in the moment it's tough. I hope one day that she sees the reality, but I know in the back of my mind that may be days, months, years, or never. 

Do you know if you H's facility offers a family program? If so you could suggest to MIL that she check it out ( And you too of course). It is really difficult for people new to addiction to really comprehend how addiction becomes so all consuming. Hopefully when your H is a little further along he will be able to explain it to her.

[arch01]

Oct 6, 2014 19:35:11 GMT -5 btay said:

Oct 6, 2014 17:46:45 GMT -5 arch01 said:

Thanks-I know I shouldn't be mad at her, but in the moment it's tough. I hope one day that she sees the reality, but I know in the back of my mind that may be days, months, years, or never. 

Do you know if you H's facility offers a family program? If so you could suggest to MIL that she check it out ( And you too of course). It is really difficult for people new to addiction to really comprehend how addiction becomes so all consuming. Hopefully when your H is a little further along he will be able to explain it to her.

I have no freaking clue. I made a separate post about my frustrations-hopefully I'll know more in a day or two. I am hoping they can point me in the right direction because I want to be able to respond to her properly, if that makes sense.

[btay]

((( malibu )))

I am doing really well, H and I have had a couple good therapy sessions now. He is still struggling with sobriety but has mentioned doing another 90 meetings in 90 days to get back on track. No relapses but he is definitely a dry drunk right now and has very little control over his emotions. I have been slacking on my Al Anon due to some major fatigue but I am hoping to catch a meeting on Thursday.

[btay]

Oct 6, 2014 19:38:13 GMT -5 arch01 said:

Oct 6, 2014 19:35:11 GMT -5 btay said:

Do you know if you H's facility offers a family program? If so you could suggest to MIL that she check it out ( And you too of course). It is really difficult for people new to addiction to really comprehend how addiction becomes so all consuming. Hopefully when your H is a little further along he will be able to explain it to her.

I have no freaking clue. I made a separate post about my frustrations-hopefully I'll know more in a day or two. I am hoping they can point me in the right direction because I want to be able to respond to her properly, if that makes sense.

Does the facility have a website? They might provide some clues.

[arch01]

Oct 6, 2014 19:39:31 GMT -5 btay said:

Oct 6, 2014 19:38:13 GMT -5 arch01 said:

I have no freaking clue. I made a separate post about my frustrations-hopefully I'll know more in a day or two. I am hoping they can point me in the right direction because I want to be able to respond to her properly, if that makes sense.

Does the facility have a website? They might provide some clues.

They have a family week (but none scheduled for the rest of the year) but nothing on family programs outside of that family week.

[flex]

Oct 6, 2014 20:41:40 GMT -5 @evelynrichards said:

I am ok. Still dealing with anxiety and a constant, compulsive need to check for hidden empties. I can't even explain why I'm doing it, or what I would do if I found any, but I can't stop hunting. I hate it. I feel like I'm constantly on alert. I think I should call the therapist, but I can't work up the courage.

I'm no expert, but it sounds a little like OCD.  Please call the therapist--you'll be glad you did.  ((hugs))

[Deleted]

I've been on another trip to Seattle. My daughter flew here on Friday, we drove 718 miles on Saturday, 640 miles on Sunday, and I flew back home today (Monday).

WHY you ask???

We gave a vehicle to her and her husband and that was the easiest way to get it from Colorado to Washington. What a great road trip we had! I loved every minute. Except for Eastern Oregon. LOL.

I want to respond to everyone individually. Lots has been posted in just a few short days.

arch01, give yourself huge pats on the back for keeping everything running smoothly! That's great. You and your MIL will learn about the DISEASE of alcoholism as your husband progresses in his recovery. In the meantime, you are doing just the right thing to focus on your own little family.

malibu, just hugs sweetie. You are in my T&P.

@evelynrichards, it takes a long time to give up old habits. You've been living in a world of anxiety and hunting for hidden bottles and skepticism for a long time. Some of that may never fully go away. Your DH will need to offer you reassurance that you need. I do like flexie's idea of seeing a therapist. Don't let him drag you down, too. That would be a double tragedy.

[Deleted]

And flex your wedding picture is gorgeous. I know you miss your sweetheart every single day. Thinking of you on his sad anniversary. You are in the thoughts of many here, I'm sure.
(heart)

[flex]

I do miss him. Sometimes it doesn't seem real. Like I'm in a bad dream and I haven't woken up yet.

Thank you for your kind words, @courtneyloves. You're such a kind person.

[mel]

I'm doing okay. Laying low and keeping to myself but doing okay.

[lexxasaurus]

I've been okay. 9 months sober, looking forward to picking up my chip when I go to a meeting with friends next week. Life is dandy, though I find it hard to keep myself positive sometimes with all my doctor appointments. It's like, I know things are going to get better and I'll feel better.. but for now it's frustrating and I'm still tired and drained. Most things are good though and I'm loving the beautiful fall weather! Just gotta get through the holidays now without too much craving, and it'll be fine.

[flex]

Oct 8, 2014 20:17:00 GMT -5 lexxasaurus said:

I've been okay. 9 months sober, looking forward to picking up my chip when I go to a meeting with friends next week. Life is dandy, though I find it hard to keep myself positive sometimes with all my doctor appointments. It's like, I know things are going to get better and I'll feel better.. but for now it's frustrating and I'm still tired and drained. Most things are good though and I'm loving the beautiful fall weather! Just gotta get through the holidays now without too much craving, and it'll be fine.

CONGRATULATIONS on 9 months!  That is a huge deal!!  I'm very happy for you!

[lexxasaurus]

Thanks ladies!! I don't attend too many meetings nowadays (but I have a good support group and all that), but I'm sure I'll find more as we get into the holiday seasons. I may send a PM out when times get stressful though, always nice to talk to someone who can relate.

[btay]

congratulations lexxasaurus

[SwimDeep]

I have not been doing well. I think I've been avoiding posting here because... I don't know. Ashamed? Embarrassed? So tired...

My cat (11 years old) is not doing well. I'm stressed with school and work. I'm sick of the shit I put up with from my family and my H. I've been drinking. A lot. I would consider myself a functioning alcoholic at this point, but I would never tell my H because all I'll hear is "I told you so" and "You need to do it my way."

We made a compromise last week...about what exactly I'm not sure. All I know is I'm supposed to go to meetings (al-anon), eat regularly, and exercise. According to my H, doing these things will help me feel better. If I do these things through the end of the year, we'll start marriage counseling.

I don't want to ramble about it too much. I'm just tired, and I feel like I can't get out from under all the pressure.

ETA: For clarity, H does not know I'm drinking. I'm not flaunting it, just taking swigs every other chance I get.

[lexxasaurus]

SwimDeep - so exercise, healthy food, sleep, stress management... all of that WILL help but I think you know you need to quit drinking. I don't know your back story but why are you going to al-anon and not AA? It might help you to check one of those out if you're at the point of alcoholism (because trust, you cannot stay 'functioning' forever). I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling and I really do understand the feeling of being so overwhelmed by exhaustion and stress of everything. It doesn't have to be this way. ::hugs::

[spedrunner]

I have my good days and bad. I try to wake up each morning and think and feel positive. I know that is what it is all about.  

I have been realizing and coming to terms with my issues. I have admitted a lot to myself and others. I am being more honest with people and myself

I am PROUD of myself for coming this far.  I am going to continue to surround myself with healthier people, read healty non-triggering things and remember that I need to do what is BEST for me, and not compare myself to anyone else

I hope everyone else is doing well!