Depression?

[ilovelamp]

It definitely runs in my family but I've never had a problem with it. Now I've noticed however that I get sad for no reason. Not sad exactly but more like "blah". Then I'm fine and happy later. I really only get that way when I'm not actively doing something. Any thoughts?

[beans]

doesn't really sound like depression (based on four sentences). With most mental health disorders, some of the symptoms are fairly normative to experience in daily life. Its when they are really extreme or significantly impairing your life that they become a "disorder". For example, everyone feels sad or down sometimes, most people have a stress response to trauma, people have specific ways they like things or are very "anal" about they way things get done- that doesn't mean they have depression, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

If it is becoming a concern for you or getting in the way of daily living, you should talk to someone about it. But you should also make sure you're getting enough exercise and sleep, as well as proper nutrition/hydration as well. Not doing those things can make me feel "blah"

[ilovelamp]

It's a little more than momentary blahness. One minute (at work for example) I will be happily chatting with coworkers and the next I won't want to talk for hours. You might be right though, I could just be moody.

Thanks beans, I see what your saying. I will keep my eye on it.

[basilosaurus]

I need to sleep now, but I'll come back to talk about "the void" I hope you don't actually know what I mean.

[ilovelamp]

Sibil, I have no idea what the void is.

[amaristella]

I get that way sometimes and I was just talking to someone tonight about a how lot of us get that way. We chalked it up to moodiness. Sometimes it's an hour. Sometimes it's three days. Usually I'm either aware of it right away or become aware within a couple hours. An example would be when I fall asleep finally at 4am, then sort of wake up at noon the following day, look at the clock and say "fuck it" and then go back to sleep until 4pm. It's something that I could control if I really really wanted to but the motivation just sometimes does not exist.

I'm not saying that this is a great way to behave by any means, just that I do it sometimes. It's just an example of how my bad moods can snowball into themselves.

[basilosaurus]

OK, the void. That was how I described my years of depression. It was the only way I could explain how nothing was good, nothing was bad. It was just... nothing. That's what your "blah" comment reminded me of.

You can have happy moments, but it's pretty shallow (in hindsight). You aren't crying all the time because it takes being able to feel to cry. It's like you're past the point of feeling.

What's messed up about it is that it took years for me to understand how abnormal that was. I knew I was depressed, and I eventually got help, but what I thought was a baseline of feeling ok is so different than what it is when I'm healthy. I struggle today to figure out when it's a backslide or an acceptable off day/week.

If I did what amaristella said about saying fuck it I'll sleep til 4, I'd actually be nervous about a backslide . It's totally fine to have "moods" like that in a normal person, but for me, it doesn't stop with just 1 day. I'd try to rationalize it by saying it's normal to be like that every now and again, and then I'll look back and realize a month has gone by with rationalizing that all the time. Kind of like how "just 1 more drink" is ok if a regular person is out partying on the weekend and not ok with the alcoholic who says that all the time, and 1 more = lots more.

Does any of that make sense?

[ilovelamp]

Sibil thanks for explaining, and that all definitely makes sense. It's hard to know if that's what I'm really feeling or not. It's kind of like looking to the outside at everyone else and thinking, "They must be happier than this." Kind of like you said about not being happy or sad. But like I said it's not all the time. Idk.