When does the "it gets easier" start?

[fryjack2]

The boys are almost two and a half. It was a really rough morning. Following a really rough last couple of weeks.

I've been doing a lot more positive reinforcement of positive behaviors in an attempt to produce better behaved children. I was not liking that the days were turning into the boys doing a million things they know are dangerous or not allowed and me going from stern voice to yelling which just got laughs from them. They think time outs are funny and put themselves in them.

They don't listen. Come put pants on so we can go outside. Go get your shoes. Stop throwing your trains. Stop pulling your brothers hair. Draw on the paper not the floor. Etc.

Part if it is they have a built in best friend who encourages mayhem. Henry has always been super energetic and nonstop.

I try to do projects with them and have a routine. They are getting better at projects but I also have stuff to do and can't be at their side every minute.

When is the magic age where things get easier?

[trafficgirl]

Ugh, I'm sorry. Our boys are just under 1 year so I know this is coming and I'm dreading it. Unfortunately I don't have words of wisdom, just hugs. Hang in there.

[cayl]

Mine will be 3 in January, I feel your pain. They'll be playing wonderfully together and then the next thing I know, one is dragging the other across the room by her hair. People ask if they get along well and I answer that they're best friends and worst enemies. They're also getting a lot more independent and don't want help with a lot of things but they still want me to be right there with them and stick close by. God forbid I try to go to the bathroom on my own. They run around the condo yelling "mommy, where did you go?" and then knock on the bathroom door when they figure out I'm in there (if I was smart enough to remember to lock it, otherwise they join me). I tried to do my yoga video last night with them figuring that they could try it since they like mimicking what we do (I didn't expect them to be able to do 95% of the poses) and they thought it was the best thing ever for 2 minutes, then spent the rest of the time literally running in circles after each other around me and my yoga mat. I would kill for a tenth of their energy.

[fryjack2]

Oct 13, 2014 11:51:22 GMT -5 trafficgirl said:

Ugh, I'm sorry. Our boys are just under 1 year so I know this is coming and I'm dreading it. Unfortunately I don't have words of wisdom, just hugs. Hang in there.

I just put them down for a nap.  I usually wake them at 2 hours but today, I'm letting them sleep for 2.5.  I just don't have the patience today.

I took them to the park (after an hour of trying to get out the door) and then out for pizza for lunch.   I planned another park play date for after nap time and H told me he would come home early. 

I just made a hot chocolate and am going to curl up with it and my computer

[macchiatto]

That is a great question, and one that I asked myself many times.

For me it got a little easier at 2m, then at 4.5m when they started STTN, then around 1 year ... but since then (and always to an extent) I feel like we have rough days/weeks and easier days/weeks, but there hasn't been a whole age or season of, "Wow, this is really easier!" I remember other MoMs telling me it doesn't get easier, per se; the challenges just change, and now I see what they mean.

My boys will be 6 in January and while some things are a lot easier--and I really appreciate that! (like physically, they are more independent and can entertain themselves for longer periods to some extent), other things (dealing with attitude, bickering, and remarkably dramatic and long, drawn-out fits) still keeps us on our toes. Despite the challenges I do find it more fun now than I did at 2.5. That's a tough age! At 5, they are able to understand so much more, have great conversations, etc.

[josieposy]

Totally subjective. My girls will be 4 soon and now they are potty trained but they also are really into testing boundaries and growing a collectively wicked smart brain.

That said, I feel like we enjoy them more because they are imaginative and funny and get excited over the little things like helping us with household chores and cooking.

[loremipsum]

Sounds like our boys have very similar personalities (insane boundary testing, thinking time outs are funny, etc).

We came through most of the 2s relatively unscathed but honestly, it sucked donkey balls from about 2.75/3yo onward. Really, really stressful times. 3.5-4yo was particularly bad.

Now they're 4.5yo and I can see that we're finally starting to emerge from the shitpit (*touches wood*). They're still difficult, but are slowly becoming more tractable and reasonable. Don't get me wrong, it's still super challenging -- but it's getting better.

[floridakat]

My girls just turned four, and I can actually look forward to running errands on the weekend again. They listen (mostly), don't scream in the car (any more), don't always have to be in a cart, and eating in a restaurant is *almost* pleasurable at times.

They're starting to play together, nicely, for longer and longer stretches of time. They can actually help out around the house, and can do more and more for themselves.

They also fight, on the daily, over who gets to be which princess, or wear which dress, or who gets to sit where at the kitchen table. A few days ago one was crying at lunch because she didn't get to sit across from my empty chair (I was at work, as I am every weekday). This morning, the other one was crying because they both wanted one braid in their hair, and she was convinced that people would get them mixed up at school. (She has blonde, curly hair and blue eyes. The other one is two inches taller, with brown hair and brown eyes.)

Thank goodness they're cute, because they're a lot of work!

[marissa]

Hahahahahahaha *trying to catch my breathe*

[cinnamoncox]

Mine are four and are wild. They are somewhat better than the 2-3 range though that's for sure.

What I find to be challenging is the way that one child could get silly/sassy and it can be death with, then twins start and they're Feeding off each and the sillies don't stop. So that makes it harder.
When they're just being silly I try to go with it. When they're fresh, I just send them to their room. Their toys are in the living room, so getting sent to room isn't fun like if they had toys there.

[fryjack2]

Oct 14, 2014 13:56:59 GMT -5 marissa said:

Hahahahahahaha *trying to catch my breathe*

You are a jerk   Just lie to me, ok?

[marissa]

Oct 16, 2014 8:01:55 GMT -5 fryjack2 said:

Oct 14, 2014 13:56:59 GMT -5 marissa said:

Hahahahahahaha *trying to catch my breathe*

You are a jerk   Just lie to me, ok?

When they were newborn my issues were sleep and changing shitty diapers. I also had a colicky baby with reflux.
Then they were mobile, went in different directions and started talking.
When they started school it was "do we keep them together or apart?" And managing twice the paperwork, homework, etc.
Now it is managing friends, being ok if one isn't invited somewhere, one is a lying liar who love to lie, etc. The other day, one of the boys asked me when we were going to not run around after they get home from school. We do Boy Scouts ( all three of my younger ones are on the autism spectrum and it helps with their social skills) for two packs and CCD. I feel like I need a taxi sign in my car.
I swear the first year was the hardest for me. The year they were 2 was also hard but we added a fourth kid to the mix.

[lobstertail]

I ask myself the same question, but mine aren't even a year old (wilted)

[trafficgirl]

Oct 16, 2014 12:48:54 GMT -5 lobstertail said:

I ask myself the same question, but mine aren't even a year old (wilted)

You and me both sister.

I'm actually really excited for them to do sports and activities and stuff because I can send Dad to all that stuff while I stay home with my wine and trashy TV shows.

And I'm only half kidding.

[lobstertail]

Oct 16, 2014 12:56:35 GMT -5 trafficgirl said:

Oct 16, 2014 12:48:54 GMT -5 lobstertail said:

I ask myself the same question, but mine aren't even a year old (wilted)

You and me both sister.

I'm actually really excited for them to do sports and activities and stuff because I can send Dad to all that stuff while I stay home with my wine and trashy TV shows.

And I'm only half kidding.

People keep telling me that we're really in for it when we have two walking/running toddlers, but I just see that as an obstacle on the road to eventual freedom/AKA drop-off at the Saturday soccer games!

(Experienced moms, please don't burst my bubble )

[Deleted]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it never gets easier. I always tell people it gets different!
(mine are 19!!!)

[trafficgirl]

Oct 30, 2014 11:08:03 GMT -5 mags said:

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it never gets easier. I always tell people it gets different!
(mine are 19!!!)

LALALALALALALALA - we can't heaaaar yooooouuuu!!!

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2014 12:57:27 GMT -5 trafficgirl said:

Oct 30, 2014 11:08:03 GMT -5 mags said:

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it never gets easier. I always tell people it gets different!
(mine are 19!!!)

LALALALALALALALA - we can't heaaaar yooooouuuu!!!

Soon you will be onto the next phase and whatever one you are in now will seem like years ago!

[mushmouse]

ETA - how embarrassing I'm on the wrong board.  I would never have tried to give advice to a board full of women with multiples.  I'd delete but it took me a long time to type it and I didn't tell anyone else the naked story. Sorry!!!!

I only have one but 4 is way easier than any other point in his life so far. I think it started getting easier at 3.5. And I'm sorry to say 2.5-3.5 was exhausting. I honestly think I carried him screaming from every place we left for a solid year. But we still can't get out of the house. I don't know why but he still makes it impossible.

The other day it was going so smoothly, I told him to get a pair of socks and go by the door. All I had to do was brush my teeth, meet him at the door and help him into the socks and shoes. He emerged from his room naked. A year ago I would have been reduced to a screaming puddle, but now I actually saw the humor. Which probably means that I'M the one who has changed more than him but I'll take it!

[bluemonster]

Oct 15, 2014 6:30:51 GMT -5 cinnamoncox said:

Mine are four and are wild. They are somewhat better than the 2-3 range though that's for sure.

What I find to be challenging is the way that one child could get silly/sassy and it can be death with, then twins start and they're Feeding off each and the sillies don't stop. So that makes it harder.
When they're just being silly I try to go with it. When they're fresh, I just send them to their room. Their toys are in the living room, so getting sent to room isn't fun like if they had toys there.

Former lurker that's trying to become an active participant. 

Mine are 5 and this is so true.  They are so good and easy for the most part, and have been for a long time but they feed off of each other like no other.  So they can go from good to out of control in 5 seconds flat.  Drives me crazy.  But then I remember how my older DD gets when her BFF comes and spends the night and basically the twins have their BFF w/ them constantly. 

[bluemonster]

Oct 30, 2014 11:08:03 GMT -5 mags said:

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it never gets easier. I always tell people it gets different!
(mine are 19!!!)

This is what my mom tells me.  It never gets easy or unbusy it just changes.  You move from changing diapers and making bottles to running from one activity to the next.