Triggers

[btay]

DH sitting in the garage
The sound of a can opening
Anytime he works late
Anytime I call and he responds with a text ( he used to do this because he could hide his slur in texts)

Most of them have gotten better just with time, but there was a lot of talking myself through in the beginning, and telling myself that even if he is drinking again there is nothing I can do about it.

[pinkdutchtulips]

any change in the size of now xh's pupils
behavior that simply made no sense
dismantling electronics (think smoke detector or carbon monoxide detector NOT tvs or dvd players)
'cleaning'
extreme forgetfulness

sadly, my coping mechanism was a divorce ... I couldn't live with nor could I let our dd be raised around an active addict (I was right, he had relapsed)

[arch01]

I'm just reading through these for the moment, I don't know what they will be when DH comes home in 3 weeks. We both have a fear of him coming home and going back to work. But-what's going to happen is going to happen.

[SwimDeep]

Watching particular TV shows with him. Shows like Parenthood will always set him off and send him on a "lecture spree." I have a hard time watching Suits, Burn Notice, Graceland, the evening news, soccer games... I never know what's going to spark a thought in his mind that he feels he needs to share with me in order to teach me to interact more effectively with my family.

I've recently started calling him out on it, and now that he's sober it's starting to get better.

Another trigger I've noticed is cooking dinner with him. When we started dating we would cook dinner together, and we would have so much fun! And then we were married and things were just...different. Suddenly I was cutting the onions wrong, overcooking things, doing prep in the wrong order... I still get extremely nervous when we cook together. And it kills me, because cooking with him was one of the biggest things that made me fall in love with him.

[malibu]

Him going into the garage or basement
Slurring
Falling asleep in the middle of the day
Staying up later than I do. I have a hard time falling asleep if he's still up

[pinkdutchtulips]

Oct 20, 2014 20:51:34 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

Watching particular TV shows with him. Shows like Parenthood will always set him off and send him on a "lecture spree." I have a hard time watching Suits, Burn Notice, Graceland, the evening news, soccer games... I never know what's going to spark a thought in his mind that he feels he needs to share with me in order to teach me to interact more effectively with my family.

I've recently started calling him out on it, and now that he's sober it's starting to get better.

Another trigger I've noticed is cooking dinner with him. When we started dating we would cook dinner together, and we would have so much fun! And then we were married and things were just...different. Suddenly I was cutting the onions wrong, overcooking things, doing prep in the wrong order... I still get extremely nervous when we cook together. And it kills me, because cooking with him was one of the biggest things that made me fall in love with him.

+1

the every tv show is a new thing to lecture me about plus I can't do anything right if my life depended on it. that walking on eggshells thing is something I am so glad to leave behind and I could feel it creep back the time he spent 10 days in my apartment before I told him to leave for good.

[partiallysunny]

Adult males yelling