Post by autumnfire on Oct 21, 2014 14:01:14 GMT -5
I'm just stunned this is the first thing this women says to you! Racist or not, this goes on the list of shit you just don't say/ask someone. Never in my life have I thought that someone was a nanny to kids. Maybe I'm odd but I assume if children are with an adult they are theirs. I'd rather someone tell me after I say "hi" and "your children are gorgeous", that they aren't someones kids then to ask them if they are a nanny.
NitaXorangeblossom @smorriso @songforyou Jermys I AM PUTTING OUT THE SIGNAL BECAUSE THIS IS SOME NEXT LEVEL FOOLISHNESS RIGHT NOW.
Listen...I'm only page 3...but listen...I know that I said I wanted to be tagged with other black folks, but I should have been more clear. Black folk stuff not on ML. This is stupid, so many dumb comments and I just started. It's like being tagged on The Bump.
LOL (heart)
I've always wanted you to come hang out over here more often, but I can see that's not going to happen (wilted)
Listen...I'm only page 3...but listen...I know that I said I wanted to be tagged with other black folks, but I should have been more clear. Black folk stuff not on ML. This is stupid, so many dumb comments and I just started. It's like being tagged on The Bump.
You know, I never get tagged in these black folk roundups. Someone's going to need to explain their intent behind this oversight, lest I get offended.
Also, please don't tag me in the black folk roundups. #noracistintent #cantbeoffended #Iseeintentnotcolor #hashtagsareplayedout #fuckoff05heel
I never get tagged in the black folk meetings either. I'm not sure if I'm offended or relieved because sometimes I just don't wanna deal with folks foolishness. You know when there's a black folk meetings it's gonna involve foolishness.
You know, I never get tagged in these black folk roundups. Someone's going to need to explain their intent behind this oversight, lest I get offended.
Also, please don't tag me in the black folk roundups. #noracistintent #cantbeoffended #Iseeintentnotcolor #hashtagsareplayedout #fuckoff05heel
I never get tagged in the black folk meetings either. I'm not sure if I'm offended or relieved because sometimes I just don't wanna deal with folks foolishness. You know when there's a black folk meetings it's gonna involve foolishness.
I get tagged about 50% of the time. Probably b/c I'm only 50% black.
Nugget, you know this. I have always been considered white, although my father is Egyptian and my mother is German. I have far more brown skin family members than white ones, but because if my relatively fairer skin, have always been treated white.
The only thing I'm going to comment on in this thread is this.
I found this and the biracial comment interesting because my husband is Egyptian and he and his whole family classify themselves as white, even though they are a mix of light and dark skin tones.
In fact, I had asked my husband about this (he has light skin). He said when he was filling out college applications he wasn't sure what box to check off when asked race. His father (who has dark skin) told him Egyptians were technically considered white.
I was always kind of curious how other Middle Easterners classified themselves on those types of forms. I would have guessed "Other", but wasn't really sure.
I really have no point to this story other than I just thought it was kind of interesting.
The only time I've assumed someone was a nanny, was at a huge cool play place that serves wine and good food. There was a very skinny, young looking, really stylish, put together woman typing on her laptop and studying thick college-ish books. The kids looked nothing like her and only stopped by a few times to get water.
Meanwhile I was newly postpartum and felt like crap, and me and my friends all felt frumpy and gross. We all thought she was the nanny. I asked her after a few hours and she was really offended, I felt terrible for asking. I only meant it as a "you look really cute and put together", but she was pissed. She was white and the kids were white.
I know the thread wildly diverged after this post back on page 2 but... WHY did you feel the need to ask her if she was the nanny? What business of it was yours?
Then we are back to disagreeing, because you are assuming that asking a person if they are a nanny is racist in some interracial situations but not in others, strictly based on who had the darker skin color, mother or child.
I think of someone like my poor grandmother-in-law, who has no filter and not a racist bone in her body, but doesn't see a whole lot of interracial relationships. She would ask a question like this without thinking, regardless of if the mother was black with white children or the other way around just because she likes to make conversation, get friendly, and get to know people
Granny is not purposefully racist or even aware of such behaviors as racist. She has internalized a racist history and reenacts/projects it by not realizing the potentiality of an interracial family. Even so does the system get passed down.
Can you correct it for us then? In four sentences or less?
Can they be run-on sentences?
1. I believe that if a comment has clear, indisputable, negative racial undertones, it is racist, but racism takes many forms, some more nefarious than others, and that not every person who has ever believed or spoken a racist statement is a racist person.
2. I believe that an ignorant comment that can be taken not to be racist in one situation cannot always be assumed to be racist when directed at a person of color, without understanding intent. 3. This does not extend to racial slurs, jokes, or other comments, acts, or behavior that society and history have clearly defined as racist.
I don't know if I can make it through the rest of this thread, because*whoa*, but in the spirit of helping to clarify things in this scenario, I can take a teeny step your way. Perhaps the person who has 'spoken a racist statement' is not 'a racist person'. HOWEVER, they are definitely operating from their position of white (or white passing) privilege by either thinking it is acceptable to make such a statement as in the OP, or not even thinking it is necessary to think through such a statements and all of the implications it could have in the situation they are in. Using their privilege in this way may not make them a willful racist (just ignorant), but the statement/act is still racist.
Anecdote Time! I had a (white) bf who's grandfather (from rural Kansas) had only spoken to TWO black people in his life. Two Jamaican women who worked at the bank in his town or something. When he met me, he began asking me about my life back home...in Jamaica. He was very sweet and kind. But also ignorant and privileged. His use of his privilege/ignorance to assume I must be Jamaican, despite his intentions, was still racist as fuck.
Does that make any sense? He wasn't calling me anything derogative, but again, racist as fuck.
NitaXorangeblossom @smorriso @songforyou Jermys I AM PUTTING OUT THE SIGNAL BECAUSE THIS IS SOME NEXT LEVEL FOOLISHNESS RIGHT NOW.
I finally caught up to this quote and now have a few more pages to read.
As a person that frequently passes, this shit is still reprehensible. You don't have to live the "black life" to be able to see that this is wrong. I'll echo those who say that lacking intention doesn't affect the meaning or delivery. Someone doesn't have to be all white hoods and burning crosses to be racist, and in fact, the majority of what we deal with in regards to racism is extremely subconscious and subliminal.
Minor inflections of racism are some of the most threatening. It breeds into idea that certain aspects of minority life is a certain way, a negative or degraded way. It's why people like to say in defense to being called out, "You're just playing the race card." No, small things build in very big way. Additionally the small phrases like these and "are you the nanny?" are just part of the multiple encounters of racism dealt with daily for minorities. It's being asked if you're the nanny, to being followed in a store, to assumptions on wealth, status, etc. etc. that effect lives daily for minorities. It's not minor, and it's really annoying that this is being skewed as such.
YES!
It's honestly somewhat more offensive and upsetting to me when I hear stuff like "you speak so well" or "are you the nanny" vs straight up racists who use the N-word and say they don't like black people. The former is more subtle and people don't even realize how those things build up over the years and color their perception of minorities negatively.
I have little tolerance for people's bigotry or racism or stupidity especially when it comes to my kids.
I was in shock and horrified. I clutched the baby, looked at the asshole with tears in my eyes, and forcefully told her,"Her name is not Coco!". Then we left the party.